Posted by JenStar on June 8, 2005, at 20:52:28
In reply to Can't get past this HATRED!, posted by margie24 on June 8, 2005, at 2:46:39
hi Margie,
I'm so sorry that you have to deal with this! I guess if your brother truly loves her, you'll have to find some way to accept her presence or else you'll lose your brother completely. If she doesn't do anything illegal, immoral, or just evil you should probably go to the wedding and smile a lot and keep your mouth shut. I know it will be hard, but your brother will probably be relieved and appreciative.Could you try talking to her 1:1 after the wedding sometime? Maybe get together for lunch with just her, a "girls day out." Be honest and say something like, "hey, I know we never seemed to get along from the start. I'd really like to be closer to you b/c it's obvious how much you mean to my brother. How do you feel about it?"
Even if you feel it's all her fault, saying something like that might open the door to a better relationship. I'd recommend NOT calling her names or insulting her at that meeting (even if you really really want to, and even if she really deserves it!) b/c that will just make things worse. And you can always call her names later if the "nice" stuff doesn't work...
At least you'd get the cards on the table, so to speak.
But for the wedding, I'd say just "suck it up" and be nice. Support your mom. Make it a point to be generous, gentle and sweet to your mom, esp. if she is having a hard time with this wedding, too.
And tell us what you decide!
Again, I'm so sorry you have to deal with this. I know it sucks.JenStar
poster:JenStar
thread:509519
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20050603/msgs/509817.html