Posted by kara lynne on June 17, 2003, at 12:08:33
In reply to Re: I'm scared, please help, posted by Giget on June 17, 2003, at 7:16:25
Thank you all so very much. I will write more later when I'm out of the house, and he's not around. He came in at 5am this morning and we haven't spoken.
I am leaving now to look for an apt. I am trying with all I have not to ruminate in the horrible things he said about me yesterday. I told him it was a wake up call to hear what he really thought of me and he just threw it back on me saying I get angry too, and he's sure I talk to my friends the same way. I have never spoken such cruel words to him or ripped apart his entire character to anyone else.
It is so hard for me to let go of trying to get him to see me differently. The person he described on the phone yesterday was a pathetic loser. I keep trying to see how that is a projection, because he is so successful at work. But listening to you all and my counselor I am beginning to understand. There are other areas where I guess he is in denial. Still it's hard, because he's picked on areas I feel so damaged in. But why would he have to be so heartless about them anyway, if he truly loved me? The last thing I heard him discussing was that I was definitely not an asset to his work. He said I might very well be a deficit, but he had to consider that for a moment--surely I was not an asset.
I'm sorry to be redundant. He just had a laundry list so long and devastating, down to the most personal moments we have together. I guess it was neccessary to hear so that I don't consider staying like I have too long already.
Again, I am just so grateful to you all for responding.
poster:kara lynne
thread:234326
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20030617/msgs/234562.html