Posted by kalyb on June 16, 2003, at 15:24:44
In reply to I'm scared, please help, posted by kara lynne on June 16, 2003, at 11:53:30
Kara, you KNOW this is not true....
I would say that though you think deep down these things are true, there is a little part of yourself which is inaccessible right now, that believes and knows and understands that these hateful things that were said, are NOT true.
You need to find a way to get in touch with that place inside and believe it, which might be hard for you, but it's there, it really is, just hidden in negative opinions which can be brought out, examined and changed.
The things he said were also nothing but an opinion, one person's opinion, and as such, they are open to interpretation, are not cast in stone, and it feels to me that his own hidden opinions of and beliefs about himself are biasing his thoughts about you.
Those words were not the words of a generous, compassionate individual. They were designed to rob you of your dignity and your pride, and because they were said with unkindness and intent to hurt, even more so they are NOT true. It sounds to me like he also has a lot of issues to deal with - the drug taking being just a part of that - and until he deals with those, no-one will ever see the best side of him. It is not your fault!
And you, you are the one who is doing positive things - you are getting help for yourself by taking meds and thinking about therapy. Until he takes some responsibility for himself and his own issues, he will never be half the person you are.
If you haven't already looked for the book my therapist recommended, then do so now, if you can. Keep talking to us here, we're here for you - I am - and you can email me any time you like, kalybat oneteldotcom
Please be at peace with yourself, sweetheart - take this chance to start anew if you can find the strength, and take it into your heart that this man did not deserve you. Nobody has the right to make you feel that bad about yourself.
{{{hugs kara, take care}}}}
love
Kalyb xxx
poster:kalyb
thread:234326
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20030604/msgs/234380.html