Posted by Dinah on February 28, 2002, at 17:02:19
In reply to Re: Anger » Dinah, posted by Krazy Kat on February 28, 2002, at 13:21:12
Thanks Krazy Kat,
I don't really think there's any possibility of his changing. He really thinks he's doing the right thing. He thinks it's up to him to teach pedestrians and fellow drivers that they should follow the law. He thinks that our dear sweet son would somehow turn into a hooligan if he doesn't make sure he's disciplined. And I guess he thinks he needs to make sure I do the right thing as well. Now this comes from him. It is his own explanation for his behaviors.
Our sole joint therapy session was a disaster that ended up hurting me quite a bit (and I didn't think he could still hurt me so). My therapist says he will never forget what my husband said. He'd never heard anything quite like it.
We've seen parenting professionals on occasion with regard to our son - therapists connected with our local parenting group. They all tell him that what he's doing is counterproductive given our son's temperament. He freely admits the truth of my description of his behavior. He changes for a few weeks but doesn't keep it up. Well maybe that isn't completely fair. He probably has gotten somewhat better with our son.
I'm so proud of my son. He cries when Dad yells at him, but when Dad scares the dogs, he'll walk right up to him and very politely say "You know, they're just little dogs. You really shouldn't do that." And he's so calm and polite about it. I could just burst. And to his credit, Dad doesn't jump all over him about it.
But maybe I'm just overreacting about it. Certainly I've seen more than a few marriages where the husband was much much worse. And in my own family my mom and dad both had anger eruptions that made my husband look like a saint. I just had hoped that my marriage would be different. Perhaps a childish wish. At any rate it's a vain wish. All I can change is myself.
Thanks again,
Dinah
poster:Dinah
thread:19013
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20020223/msgs/19026.html