Posted by Krazy Kat on February 28, 2002, at 13:21:12
In reply to Anger, posted by Dinah on February 28, 2002, at 10:24:00
Dinah:
My husband grew up in a loud Polish household. He screams things at his mother and grandmother that I wouldn't consider sharing with a tree. They get really angry with each other and then within minutes, they're fine.
I grew up in a very reserved family. Anger was considered a very bad thing. However, things would build up so much, that when they did break, it was very frightening (esp. my Dad).
I have told my hubby that I will not be treated like his mother, but he has rightly pointed out that keeping it all inside isn't good either. Both of seem to avoid "discussions" but we now try to have one at least once a week.
This change came about during a very stressful time - I was ready for a separation. So I think that if you want this to change, and really it should, you may have to be dramatic about it.
I worry that it will end up being hard on your son, since he sounds sensitive (very similar situation to my brother-in-law and nephew).
Also, you know that dogs are very intuitive creatues and their reaction says a lot.
He probably won't go to therapy, but what about couples counseling? Mark and I went to a priest a couple of times and it really helped. (I'm not Catholic, but he is). The problem is really a communication problem. If it's approached that way, maybe he'll see it differently.
Good luck.
- KK
poster:Krazy Kat
thread:19013
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20020223/msgs/19017.html