Posted by DaisyM on January 10, 2004, at 20:23:22
In reply to Happy happy birthday baby! » DaisyM, posted by Karen_kay on January 9, 2004, at 23:52:55
<<<And don't feel guilty for taking someone up on an offer that they give.
I hope tomorrow you wake up with a clear head and the sun shining down on you. It does, you just don't realize it all the time.>>>Well, we were totally fogged in this morning, so that didn't work! :)
I'm trying not to feel guilty. I just feel like I'm making a bigger deal out of all of this than I need to. I'm so much better at helping everyone else. I tell myself to get over the past, accept the icky stuff here in the present as "not fixable" and move on. It is easier said than done, as you know.
I keep reading all the CBT stuff about controlling your thoughts, which will control your negative feelings,which should control the hurt. I can't seem to make it work for me -- I guess I'm not doing it right. Why should something that happened so long ago be so painful? And why can't I, whose life work is to offer support and guidance to sick kids and their families, find away to be more ok with the illness present in my house.
I hate the fact that I feel more OK one day and then I fall apart all over again. I keep looking for my coping reserves but they seem to have disappeared.
Sorry this is so negative...feeling sorry for myself right now. I should be happy actually (I'll post about that later) but actually feel overwhelmed instead.
I want all chocolate for my birthday - cake, icing, ice-cream and toppings. And only 1 candle, 'cause I'm starting over!
poster:DaisyM
thread:294726
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20040110/msgs/299164.html