Posted by alexandra_k on October 11, 2014, at 18:07:49
In reply to Re: books » pontormo, posted by alexandra_k on October 11, 2014, at 16:58:47
I'm pretty much over this year. I've learned a lot. I needed it. I wouldn't have stood a chance next year without it. But I am pretty much over this year.
It is the books that have done it. I suppose it was bad of me, picking up books for next year just as we are working up to the exam period for this year...
But I did it because my interest in this year had flagged already. I have become fairly complacent about my grades for this semester. I guess... I'll be happy with B's. I never thought I'd ever say that... But in this case... It really is true. Only then I had this little niggly fear that maybe I've lost whatever kick of motivation I need to be able to do well enough next year when B's simply will not do... Getting the books... Beautiful books... Content that is interesting to me... I have this strong desire to internalize ALL the content. Wonderfully clear content. Presented in a logical order. Little nuggets of information. 5 kinds of cellular junction. 4 or 5 bits of info to remember about each. A picture. A narrative. A summary table. Rinse and repeat... And I see that this year is... All over the place. With lecturers who get fussy about things like making their powerpoints available (and there not being simple summaries anyway), making their lecture recordings available (where they woffle all over the place covering a semesters worth of content every lecture) with content that isn't even in our textbook... That has a lot to do with why my motivation is flagging.
Next year will be better. A lot better. Beautifully presented content. Keep coming back to that lecture, I do. 6 steps to chlorine regulation and a bunch of stuff (signs and symptoms) of Cystic fibrosis. I mean... 4 lectures per week. 4 classes per week. 16 lectures content each and every week. Keep it simple. Keep it repetitive (lecture is textbook is powerpoint) Give the students a f*ck*ng chance. To learn ALL the content. To f*ck up a little on synthetic / critical thinking / extension questions. But to learn ALL the f*ck*ng content. A chance.
I guess next year is for the kids who can hook into learning that way. For the kids who stand up and clap once they realise that that is the way it is going to be done. What I'm doing this year is for the... Other kids. Mostly. The kids who haven't figured out what the books is yet... The ones who are still working on bringing a ruler to their labs. Sigh.
I have worked pretty hard this semester on my classes. Animal biology, anyway. And mechanics... Electricity... And I've done the readings (though quickly) and gone to nearly every class for law -- and law is general f*ck*ng ed (aka a load lightener) and I have strong verbal skills... So...
There are loads of chemistry problems in the textbook... And the A&P book... I really am learning to love... More than Marieb... I think... I really do think... That might just be me...
I bloody better get a place in Health Sci. I think they let anyone in... Fairly sure... I remember I got an offer far in advance of Bio-Med last year... End of November, I think... From this year: That's all I need.
Chem lab... And an histology lab for bio... That's all I need... I have another stack of grading (to get the population health book and possibly Rohen's or Netter's Atlas...) I will do my best in the exams... But I'm not going to kill myself trying to figure how many grams of propane you need to cook a 30kg pig with x heat capacity in a perfectly insulated oven at constant pressure... Or over what the f*ck the Sealord case was about... I'm not even going to... Get all upset. Truth be told, even if I put a f*ck load of work in between now and exams I don't believe it would do me any good... The law course is the 'general education' type of course that is simply horrible to me. I'd have done much better in the other case one that most people find 'boring' because it would have had clearer more manageable content. And as for physics... Well... Organic chemistry problems are hard enough for me... But I have a chance at their cumulative nature. Physics... I don't really. Not without catching up on years and years and years and years and years of maths. And I'm just... Not that into it.
I'm better to prepare for next year. Anything I learn now... Frees up time and energy for other things next year...
So.. for once in my life.. Never before at university... I'm going to kick back in lectures between now and the end of the year (only another week or so). And let them entertain me. I think... That's the point of this year for most of the students, anyway. The reason why this year isn't really much in the way of preparation for next year at all... At least I do find them interesting / entertaining, truth be told. Even if the idea of presenting a manageable chunk of content to motivated and intelligent students isn't something that really applies...
The weather is wonderful. I get a nice breeze in my windows... I have a room with a view.. I have beautiful textbooks. I have... From the Organic textbook.. The other one too, just a little bit... Some deja vu feeling... Like how I have this mental image / memory / dream from when I was kid... Being in the back of a car... Someone - mother and her boyfriend of a number of years... Driving in this street... ANd me peering out at the apartments across the road from the University... Imagining that all the university students lived in studios (not that I knew what they were) but in something like what I've got now... Longing... Thinking maybe it would be possible for me one day... Deja vu sometimes I get that feeling that that's where I am now...
I've done a bit of a walk... And I think the actual apartments i've got memories of are these super expensive historic apartments right across from the High court... But anyway... Perhaps i've conveyed the general spirit. Anyway... The organic textbook... I'm getting some kind of deja vu feeling from that too now... Something about... Weighty tomes... Being lost in weighty tomes.. What university meant to me from when I was little (I have wanted to go ever since I could remember). I'm getting some feeling of... Living my dream. Like things are meant to be. Like I'm growing into something that was meant to be.
Anyway... I guess.. I'm happy. That's pretty good, huh. I better get a place in health sci next year... It would be f*ck*ng... Awful if I dind't. I simply can't get a good grade in bio-physics... No matter what... I'm going to be one of those kids who painfully extracts a pass from others telling me exactly what to do... If I don't get into med year 2 then I'll simply have to do it... But I can't do it next year... Not the same semester as A&P. oh please god.
poster:alexandra_k
thread:1058481
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20140828/msgs/1072114.html