Posted by KB on April 13, 2002, at 14:02:06
In reply to Re: How do you talk to a lover about her state?, posted by Lacey on April 13, 2002, at 13:11:15
I think the most important thing you can do is get support for yourself. I think it's certainly fair to raise the issue - preferably in moments when both of you are calm - and using "I-statements" as in "I feel xxxx when you xxx" so it's more about your feelings than about her.
As for Mitchell's comments, I think that if you are experiencing it as an attack, then it's an attack whatever her intent or others' perceptions may be. That doesn't make her bad, but it does mean that something needs to change so that you are protected - whether that's her behavior or the way you relate to her.
poster:KB
thread:22001
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20020411/msgs/22026.html