Posted by lonelygirl on March 27, 2004, at 13:19:27
In reply to Re: admiting to stalking u T » lonelygirl, posted by fallsfall on March 27, 2004, at 7:33:33
Well, like I said, I am trying not to do it... Thank you for your story, because that is sort of what stops me. For example, one time, he mentioned that he bought a new car the previous weekend, and I was very tempted to go to the parking lot and look around for the brand new car so that I could figure out which was his. But I kept imagining him walking out of the building as I was in the parking lot and seeing me and being totally horrified.
So, what I am imagining right now is all the ways that it could go wrong if I go stand outside of his classroom... All the times that he could potentially see me (and I am kind of hard to miss), or maybe that someone in his class could notice me standing around and realize that it's weird (people tend to be afraid of me as it is, since I am so ugly) and telling him about it. I have been "caught" a couple of times with other people (just going past their houses) and I know how humiliating it is, and I couldn't handle that from him.
Anyway, he is not really a professor; he just teaches one class and I think he is considered an adjuct professor. He is not even listed in the department where he teaches (believe me, I have scoured their web site). I have had adjunct professors for classes in my department, although they were brought in from corporations, not from another on-campus non-academic department like my psychologist, and they are not really considered part of the department.
Anyway, I'm not sure if my school even has a yearbook. I have never heard of one! Do most colleges have them? I go to a very large state school, so I don't think it's all that likely that he would be pictured in any of these publications (though I have looked through things like psychology department newsletters, programs for conferences where he has presented, etc., and found NOTHING).
I still do not feel comfortable in asking him for a picture or telling him about my feelings for him. No matter how professional I'm sure he would be, I know that his PERSONAL, internal reaction would be disgust and revulsion, and I can't stand knowing that. Plus, he is bound in large part by counseling center policies, which he does not decide, and it could be that their policy in a case like this would be to switch the person to a different therapist.
Thanks...
poster:lonelygirl
thread:324038
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20040327/msgs/329097.html