Posted by lonelygirl on March 19, 2004, at 20:20:39
In reply to Re: admiting to stalking u T, posted by obSession on March 19, 2004, at 15:59:18
Oh... That is too bad, but it is nice that he is understanding about it. May I ask what he does to help you through it (I apologize if I am prying)? And why do you say you are you proud to be his stalker?
I kind of have a history of "stalking" guys I like. I think the worst thing I have done to anyone was drive past his house a lot. I always get the urge to see where people (i.e., guys I like) live. I have been caught only a couple of times, and it always makes me stop immediately. I have no desire to do it any more once I have been caught.
I also like to find out what cars they drive. Actually, my current psychologist once told me that he had bought a car the previous weekend. I immediately thought of going to the parking lot and finding the brand new car so I could figure out which was his, but I didn't do it because I thought it would look suspicious for me to be looking around the parking lot like that (there are a lot of car thefts on campus, so if someone got the wrong idea, I could have been in real trouble). I was really terrified that he might actually somehow see me, and get freaked out, and I would lose him. So I did not do it.
One time in high school (I attended an all girls school), I had a crush on a male teacher (actually, he is one of the ones who later caught me driving past his house -- and he was not very understanding about it). When it snowed, I used to find his car in the parking lot and brush it off after school. Oddly, a lot of my classmates knew about this and even joked about it (in a holiday gift exchange in one of my athletic teams, I received an ice scraper). I believe at the time that I thought he had no idea it was me, but in hindsight, if all of my classmates knew, he obviously did too!
I have also been guilty in the past of calling just to hear their voice mail greeting. I did that recently at my job, to call a coworker I had a crush on, when he was on vacation. But what I didn't realize was that it recorded my name (since I was calling from my own extension), even though I hung up before it started recording (I now know that one must press 9 to prevent it from doing that). Then he called me from home, saying that he got a blank message from me, and asking what I wanted! Luckily, I sort of had an excuse for calling him anyway, but D'OH!!!
I have also, once or twice, given anonymous gifts. I once snuck into the teacher's lounge to put a Valentine's Day gift in the mailbox of another teacher (not the same one as above). Another time, when I was 14 or 15, I bought a birthday present for a guy I liked (who was about a year younger than me), and I rode my bike to his house and put it on the doorstep (along with a helium-filled mylar balloon and a card). I rode my bike past his house again later to see if he had picked it up, and his MOTHER saw me from the window and ran out the front door chasing after me, saying she was going to call the police (even though she knows my family and we went to the same church). It may have been the most humiliating moment of my life.
Anyway, I have inexplicably gotten much better about this. I still sort of want to, but I just don't have much difficulty stopping myself from doing it. Perhaps it was just that I have been caught enough times to give me an aversion to it. Or maybe it's just gotten so much easier to find "safe" ways of finding information (like Google) that it's not worth it to risk getting caught. Also, like I said before, I have read about stalking from the victims' perspective. For some reason, this really affected me, especially with the psychologist. It just made me feel so bad to think of causing him stress or fear. His job is already kind of stressful as it is, and I know that he needs to have a boundary between that and his personal life.
poster:lonelygirl
thread:324038
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20040313/msgs/326268.html