Posted by TexasChic on April 7, 2006, at 18:39:06
In reply to Re: I'm so proud of you!!!!!!!!!!!!, posted by TexasChic on April 6, 2006, at 22:46:29
This has been the hardest week. Today on break, I was outside talking to one of the few girls that will talk to me now, and saw she was reading a book I had read. I told her it was about environmental stuff and I really liked it. Then me and the guys started talking about global warming and I was trying to explain the points made in the book for and against it. All of a sudden, she jumps up and throws her (hardcovered) book in the trash. I said, "What did you do that for?!?!" She said, "You just told me the whole damn story!" as she stormed off. Me and the guys exchanged bewildered looks and I told them I didn't even say anything about the story. I was talking about global warming!
This girl is always dramatic so it wasn't as shocking as it would have been if someone else had done it. But it hit me pretty hard after all I've gone through with the other girls. I was about to cry so I tried to make a joke saying, "Oh well, I guess she can hate me with all the rest of them". Then I started crying anyway. Not boohooing or anything, but just sitting there whiping the tears away. The guys were looking all panicked like they didn't know what to do, so we just went inside.
Ever since the other drama, I usually sit outside with this girl at lunch, along with a few others. So today I went out to the table we've been sitting at and read my book. No one ever showed, and when I went in I saw her and a couple of others sitting way far away where no one ever sits! Like she just couldn't get far away enough from me.
I know what she did was irrational and not my fault. But still, how many people can you take hating you at once? After lunch I just kept crying and trying my best to stop. Everybody around me was joking and laughing. The guy in front of me, who is a kind of misfit himself, kept looking back at me like he wanted to say something but didn't know what. Finally I got up and went to the bathroom, used half a bottle of eyedrops, and walked around a bit to try to gain some control. When I got back the girl that is the team lead (and not associated with any of the other girls except casually) came up to me to ask about a job and saw my red eyes and asked what was wrong. I told her I'm fine, and she said "No you're not, come with me" and lead me to the bathroom. The first thing she asked was if I was upset about bitchygirl. She started in on how she is so not worth getting upset over and how she herself just tolerates her and so on. I finally told her about what happened on break. But I said it was that on top of the other stuff that really did it.
We talked a bit and she told me how when I went off with the supervisor to our meeting yesterday, I had scared the crap out of bitchygirl. She said she ran up to her and said, "What do you think that's about?" all nervous and everything. The team lead girl told her she didn't know but it was about time for my review. She said bitchygirl said, 'Thank God' with much relief. So we kind of laughed about that and I went back to work feeling a little better.
Then she and any other compasionate women left early for the day. I was left mostly with all the haters. I was starting to freak out because I had to make a mock-up and I hadn't done one in a long time & didn't remember how. One problem I've had with this job is that I can't get anyone to help me, and nothing is written down. So after I was shown once or twice, I just made sure I didn't get anymore mock-ups. So here I was and the big boss was all over me because it was late (not my fault, but no matter).
Finally I asked the guy in front of me for help. He's been there forever and I don't know why I didn't think he would be any help. I guess cause all my other attempts getting help had failed. Anyway, he helped, pratically doing most of it himself. I was very grateful, but didn't like all the attention we were getting. I've always been worried because there's some things I don't know how to do when I should already, and I know they look down on me for that. So they were watching us like a hawk, and bitchygirl and cold-shoulder-girl each pretended to need something in the back room where we were working. It was just so obvious. Of course he was doing everything so I can just see where all this is going to go.
Wow! This is insanely long! Thanks if you've read this far, I just needed to get it out. I feel better having done so.
Tomorrow we're celebrating my nephew's 8th birthday. So that will be fun. And I won't have time to think of anything else! So I'm just going to try to blow this off. I may not suceed completely, but I'll try.
-T
poster:TexasChic
thread:628845
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20060406/msgs/630294.html