Posted by TexasChic on October 14, 2005, at 20:51:44
In reply to ((((TC)))), posted by ClearSkies on October 13, 2005, at 19:53:04
For some reason talking about the whole situation about cute boy, both here and by email to my friend who used to live here and knows him, I feel like I'm slowly but surely letting go. Of course, I'm not anywhere completely over it, but I can feel the change coming. Its like, I finally realized I was the one making all the effort, and I'm getting tired of it. So if he is interested, he'll just have to step up to the plate. Otherwise, I think I've done all I can at this point. I wish I wouldn't get so obsessed with guys like this. I know its somehow related to OCD, but I don't know how to stop doing it. Since its usually unrealistic visions of happiness in my head, maybe dating guys in real life would help. Ha, ha. Yeah, if I could manage that I wouldn't be here on a Friday night with a huge empty weekend looming ahead of me. But I guess I'll keep trying.
Maybe the guy my friends want to set me up with that I'm going to meet at the party next weekend will be good practice. I saw him across the room when he came to visit work the other day, and I SWEAR he kept looking at me. I thought he was cute, but no sparks to speak of. I realize that could change once I actually speak to him. But if it doesn't, maybe it would be a good way to get out into the scary world of dating (if he likes me that is). I don't mean leading him on or anything, but just taking the opportunity to get to know him better. There will be other single guys at the party as well. Can you tell I'm trying to psyche myself up? This is such uncharted territory for me.
I have to intentionally keep making my self believe that its actually possible for someone of the opposite sex to be interested in me. I know it may not sound that way in the things I write, but I'm trying not to let the negativity to seep in. But its still there, under the surface.
-T
poster:TexasChic
thread:564984
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20051007/msgs/566982.html