Posted by jay on February 15, 2005, at 11:55:17
In reply to difficult post--homophobics beware, posted by smokeymadison on February 15, 2005, at 0:23:01
> ok,
>
> so i went out my my boyfriend Sunday night to a bar for a few drinks to celebrate. up walks this girl who i have had a crush on since August. we went out to dinner in August, but it didn't go very well. she was exhausted and in a bad mood. i called her on some b*llsh*t she said and she broke down crying. so we parted ways and i hadn't seen her since.
>
> but Sunday night she was very friendly. i asked if it would be all right if i called her and she asked me what has happening in the relationship w/ my boyfriend, implying that i need to choose.
>
> i step-sided the question and said that i was just looking for friendship at the moment.
>
> the truth is, while i love my boyfriend of a year and a half, there is a lot missing in our relationship. it is hard to put into words, but i mainly love him becuase i have grown used to him being there, not really love at all. he is such a part of my life, but i don't feel the same way about him that he does about me. i have tried like h*ll, but cannot.
>
> would i be happier in a lesbian relationship--i don't know. i have never had one. i just want a better connection, a better meeting of the minds and souls in a life-long partner. i cannot find that with my boyfriend.
>
> i cried all Sunday night and Monday morning thinking that i might have to break up with my boyfriend. i took 3 mg of Klonopin and that stopped the crying at least. i love him dearly, but like i said, i am not truely happy in this relationship. i could make it work, but do i really want to live like this?
>
>Hi SM:
This is territory you *really* want to be sure of. I've seen many friends go through it, and the sad part is society still doesn't see bi-sexuality even on the same par as being homosexual or lesbian. I take it that is what you are, as you have been in love with a man and a woman, right? (I need to be correct...sorry if I am jumping to false assumptions...I also hate labels...but I guess we gotta use some)
How long has your relationship with this guy been like this...is it something that ebb's and flows? But, if your heart is *really* with this gal, then you may have some rough times to go over, but they will be done, and life goes on.
As long as it is not just infatuation, you gotta 'feel' like you are making the right choice.Take your time with it...leave it in your system to see how you feel over a bit more time. There is obviously no guarantee one or the other is *the* answer, but ultimately you have got to make a choice that you are happiest with.
Best wishes...Good luck..
Jay
poster:jay
thread:457981
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20050215/msgs/458151.html