Posted by bookgurl99 on June 9, 2003, at 10:00:58
In reply to Re: Lots of changes and upheaval at home » bookgurl99, posted by fallsfall on June 9, 2003, at 7:06:08
> If orientation wasn't an issue, would you feel the same way, or would you be able to go with her?
>Well, the thing is, if it were not for the government's Hitleresque attitude, we could be married and receiving the same benefits as any other couple. In this case, we could live together openly. But from knowing other gays in the military, if one is accused of being gay and there is 'evidence' such as 'single female living with another single female,' then it is very easy to get kicked out. So, if it were not for 'orientation,' (or, that is, discrimination based on orientation), we could live together with no fears.
I'm annoyed because I feel that she's being unecessarily narrow. One great opening that would have been near San Francisco is closed, so she's suddenly saying,"Oh, then I have to audition for another branch." That seemed like a big leap from my perspective.
She's feared that she would have to turn to the military, but it's like her fear is making her narrow minded. Like, this is it, I'm out of a job in a bad economy, so therefore the military is my _only_ choice.
I also fear losing her. As we've gotten closer to each other, she's pulled away. (She's an abuse survivor, so it may be related from that persepctive.)
Now it seems like it's all easy for her to avoid intimacy by 'just happening' to be posted in a far-off place in the one job where they can monitor all of your letters, email, and phone calls -- and were being 'in the closet' _is_ part of the job.
It makes me feel like her material possessions -- making this enormous career/life sacrifice so she doesn't lose her new car, for example -- are more important than I am to her. If I were a higher priority, I think she would be making a bigger effort to find a job where we could be together.
poster:bookgurl99
thread:232561
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20030604/msgs/232596.html