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Re: I’ve changed my mind: it’s too scary (TRIGGERS) » gardenergirl

Posted by Tamar on February 24, 2006, at 18:44:09

In reply to Re: I’ve changed my mind: it’s too scary (TRIGGERS) » Tamar, posted by gardenergirl on February 24, 2006, at 16:05:28

> I don't have a lot of answers, but I wanted to let you know that I was talking about the need for connection with my T yesterday. It always makes me cry to think about it or talk about it. And I can't put into words just exactly why. All I know is I said I didn't want to skip this week (I've been really sick), even though I know I have a standing appt. on Mondays. I said that I didn't like going more than a week between sessions, while at the same time saying I didn't feel like doing therapy because I felt so lousy. Logically, it didn't make sense. But I just really felt the need to maintain connection with him. And it's a hard feeling for me to directly address. I try to protect myself from it, and I don't exactly know why. I did ALOT of talking around it yesterday.

It’s hard, isn’t it? Maybe protecting ourselves is an inevitable attempt to protect ourselves from being hurt. But I reckon there is no way to avoid being hurt in therapy. I want to ask my T how and when and where exactly he plans to hurt me…

> All that just to say, I think I understand a bit of what you were hoping/reaching for. It's a very normal wish. There's nothing wrong with it. And it really DOES hurt when you reach out and aren't met halfway. Or at least partway.

Yeah… partway would be enough…

> I hope you can share this with him. And I wish you speedy healing for your wounds. All of them.

Thanks GG!

Tamar


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