Posted by Racer on November 28, 2005, at 23:24:06
I'm caught in a vicious circle, where I can't seem to get anything done, and I "know" that if I did things I'd feel better. Instead, I get nothing done and then hate that I didn't. (Nearly wrote that I hated myself -- maybe I do, but I know it's not healthy to say it. Maybe if I don't say it, I will learn not to feel it?)
Which comes first, the depression, or the inability to get anything done? What can I do, since I can't seem to do anything else? All I want to do is climb under the covers, pull them over my head, and nap. Or, right now, cry?
(Keep in mind, fertility drugs -- they're part of teh emotional roller coaster.)
Anyway, I don't know if I need advice or comfort. Maybe mostly comfort -- as usual, whenever I think about how I "should" deal with this, I end up beating myself up even more: "For cryin' out loud -- you know that you'd feel better if you got your fat lazy @$$ off that chair and cleaned the bathroom/kitchen/went to the store/gym/whatever, and you still don't do it. No wonder you feel so miserable -- and you have no one but yourself to blame." You know the routine, right? I don't know which is worse -- the situation itself, or the self-recriminations.
Ugh.
poster:Racer
thread:583204
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20051118/msgs/583204.html