Posted by cricket on August 17, 2005, at 7:37:30
In reply to Re: Terrible Session » cricket, posted by alexandra_k on August 16, 2005, at 21:27:41
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> I think it does come back to the point that he doesn't have to plumb the depths of your unconscious. Your unconscious is there in your alters. You aren't so vulnerable and scaired - but one of your alters is. Its right there open to view. I don't think there is any more to it than that.
>
> Maybe it was about superficial and latent content (I really don't know as much about all this stuff as I would like...) Something about how typically the superficial content (the 'easy' reading of dreams etc) is supposed to mask the latent content which is just too hard for the person to bear. Typically you have to do a lot of digging to unearth the latent content from the superficial content.
>
> But in DID the latent content is delegated out to the alters. So communication with alters gives you that latent content. No digging required.
>
Yeah, I think you're right. I wish there was some way to tell him this. Now might not be the best time.> I would guess... That you aren't so very scaired of him... But that part of you is. And that there isn't really so very much more to it than that.
>
Yeah, just part. There is another part that wants to curse him out. "Yo, get your head out of your b*tt. I show up each and every f***ing week, no matter what, because I think you're stupid. What kind of half a**ed logic is that."
Okay, maybe I won't let that part out anytime soon ;-)
> > > > I don't think he is genuine. He puts up some officious front like a social secretary and that's all I get. (From when the alter did get through, she got some sort of assistant who manages his affairs and the only part of him she got was a lecture).
>
> I think... Your seeing him in that way may have been upsetting to him. It sounds like he was fairly upset to think that you think he is stupid. That wouldn't be so nice for anyone :-( But it does sound like he took that fairly personally. Which means he has issues there...
>
Yeah, I think it may be a sensitivity to the formality thing even more than the stupidity.> > He also said it was a very negative transference. Maybe, I don't give him a lot of positive feedback and I certainly don't make much progress. I did notice when I came in that his eyes were all red. I immediately thought he had a cold, but he didn't seem sniffly so I thought that he was upset about something. I actually was stupid enough to think that maybe the dream might cheer him a bit. Let him know that somebody really wanted to talk to him.
>
> Hmm.
> I would say... That some positive feedback about now might be nice. Maybe if you tell him about how you saw the dream. What you would have liked him to say. That you are afraid that he will think your kids are stupid. How that makes you feel. It also sounds like he is a bit emotionally distant which you are finding really hard. Maybe he is distancing himself because he thinks that you think he is stupid ;-) Sounds like a bit of a miscommunication. But you could sort that out by taking another risk (I know its hard) and showing him that you really do care what he thinks and it sounds like you are both afraid of the same things in some respects.
>
I hope you are right. I can try... Maybe.
> > Maybe this is all too much for him and he knows that deep inside I know it too.
>
> Maybe thats what both of you are afraid of.
>
> I think thats whats hard about me too.
> Because sometimes I have this real urge / need to *touch* people, or to *move* them.
> I need that.
> And its a sort of connection that I try to dig out of them sometimes.
YES!
> And its not the sort of thing that is terribly consistent with an officious or competent or immovable facade.
> I guess I'm pretty emotionally intense.
> So there is a fine line between giving me freedom to express
> And retaining ones own sanity
> :-(
> Which is why people tend to burn out
> :-(
YES!
> I really don't know what to say.
> Except...
> That it sounds like you have been through a lot together.
Well, I've been through a lot. I'm not so sure about him.
> That it sounds like he really does care about you and about helping you (or he wouldn't be upset)
What you say makes sense. But does he? Or am I just scratching at the facade and he doesn't like it?
> That it sounds like you ARE making progress (because you want to run)
> That there is some kind of miscommunication.
>
> I dunno...
> And maybe this is just me talking from my history here...
> But I would say that its time for some repairing relationship kind of stuff.
> So that he knows you do appreciate him
> And that you do want to keep working with him
> And that you do like him (I reckon its okay to think that some of what he says is stupid 'cause nobody is perfect)
> And that your little kids are scaired because they need to be nurtured
> Not treated harshly.
>
Yes, I hope I can. Even if we decide not to work together anymore, he certainly did try. For more than three years he tried and that's more than anyone else in the world ever has.
poster:cricket
thread:542514
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20050813/msgs/542876.html