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Bye bye happy mania

Posted by Elle2021 on January 9, 2004, at 16:47:20

In reply to Re: Girl, you have to start getting some sleep! » Elle2021, posted by Karen_kay on January 9, 2004, at 16:13:34

Well,
I was just talking to mum, trying to be open and talk about how I feel that she is controlling and domineering. I casually mentioned that I wanted to get a job again and move back out and be independent, because that is what my pdoc wants me to work on. And she goes, "I really do not know what that guy is filling your head with." It hurt my feelings that she thinks he is so unintelligent. He is smart. I like him. Then when I tried to continue the conversation she cut me off and goes, I don't want to discuss it anymore, and went back to reading her paper. So I said, "I don't care if you don't want to talk about it, I'm talking!" She just ignored me. She always ignores me.

Well, I don't think my pdoc really likes me that well. I think he thinks I am a big boring waste of time. I have been seeing him for about one and a half years. I still don't trust him very much. I do want to tell him things, personal things, but I just don't have the courage, it's too scary right now. I wish I could have your bravery. I am looking forward to your Wednesday visit when you are supposed to ask him if he fantasizes about his clients. I'm anxious to know the reply. :)

About my nightmares:
Pdoc usually gives me his interpretation and I just stay silent even if I know he's wrong. I'm super passive in therapy, which is totally out of character for me. Usually I'm opinionated and expressive about superficial stuff. Also, I don't think your anti-social. I was really paranoid that I was cause I read about it in my psych book, but really I just don't fit the category whatsoever. My pdoc confirmed that he doesn't think so either. I used to self-diagnose all the time. I was terrified for a long time that I was Schizophrenic, but my pdoc said it wasn't likely (but he said I have to wait, that it could still develop). That wasn't an overly comforting thought.

Thats really sweet that your therapist offered you an app. today. Mine would never do that. Not ever. He restricts me to once a month, no more, sometimes less. Anyway, I feel like crying about that now, so I'm gonna finish this post. So much for my happy mania, looks like it was just a mood swing.
Elle


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Psycho-Babble Psychology | Framed

poster:Elle2021 thread:296222
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20040102/msgs/298763.html