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Re: All I want is to enjoy listening to music again... » Jerrympls

Posted by jay on May 31, 2002, at 9:27:01

In reply to All I want is to enjoy listening to music again..., posted by Jerrympls on May 31, 2002, at 0:05:08

> ...and have yet to find a pill or device to bring that joy back. I've tried on my own only to be dissappointed by failure...I wish to feel the warmth of a major chord played by the lower strings.....or the excitement of a symphonic flurish and crescendo and accelerando to the end! But nothing...I feel nothing...It's like drinking air and not even being thristy. It almost annoys me. How come I can't listen to a piece of music I used to love so much and tell myself to enjoy it--and remind myself how much I loved it? No beauty do I hear...no warmth do I feel....no chills of excitement.....no joy.......
>
> no music in my heart.
>
> Depression is a cruel, cruel, cruel beast. I wouldn't wish it on anyone......ever.

I hear you on this one! But, I have found that when I can get back into music, it's like heaven. Have you talked about this with your doctor? Mine knows I am a musician, and I complain about and put it in with the same side-effects as loss of sex drive, etc. I find a number of medications antagonize the problem, but it is hard to tell if it is a side effect or part of depression/anxiety. Be very 'vocal' with your doctor about this, as I don't think we should just have to 'live with it'. Just the same as I don't think we should have to just 'live with' sexual side effects, or any other nasty ones.

BTW...also just a note I found much of my musical taste has changed since I uncovered and got help for depression/anxiety. Maybe try exploring some other styles of music. If you like classical and jazz, check out some of the interesting styles of 'world-beat music', and the many different styles of folk music. There is some great stuff that deals with some of the very intense emotions we experience in depression/anxiety.

Best wishes,

Jay


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