Psycho-Babble Social Thread 17355

Shown: posts 1 to 15 of 15. This is the beginning of the thread.

 

Re: PMS vs. PMDD vs. Bipolar

Posted by Joe J on January 28, 2002, at 1:09:43

Sorry to reply to such an old post, but I just discovered this site today, and had never heard of PMDD, and I am wondering if someone can help me figure out if this is a close diagnosis for my wife. This particular post was very close to my own situation with my wife. This is going to be a rather long post, sorry.

The previous poster said this:

> My wife and I have only been married 2 years. She is in her early 40's. It seems that nearly every month she becomes extremely irritable, moody, and angry for the week before her period (PMS?) as well as the week during, and sometimes even the week after her periods, so that she is maybe civil for only about one week a month.

me:

My wife has this same problem. Angry, and easily irritated 2 1/2 weeks per month every month. I have been tracking it for the last 20 months, she is normally fine between the 1st and the 10th of the month, then angry from the 10th to the end of the month. This behavior has been going on for 10 years or more, probably 20.

The previous poster wrote:

> My wife is an FNP (Family Nurse Practitioner) and has apparently had this going on for years. When it happens, it is definitely a Dr. Jenny/Mrs. Hyde type situation. She claims it has nothing to do with her period, and because she is an FNP, I cannot even suggest to her to possibly see a doctor about it. She has been on Prozac for quite a while, but it doesn't really seem to help much, especially around her period - it almost seems to me to make things worse. I have been told by several people that she might be bipolar, but I do not really know enough about any of this to even try to attempt to diagnose her myself - I do not understand all of this, but not only that, she would not listen to me if I did make any suggestions. I am hoping that she will somehow recognize it on her own or have her hear it from a doctor or other medical expert that she trusts and will listen to.

I wrote:

I could have written this myself, my wife is also a nurse, and is in denial also. I told her 2 years ago that her symptoms are monthly, and I thought she had PMS, but she said she charted herself, and her DR. had rulled out PMS.
Also, none of the PMS symptoms I had read seemed to fit well, because PMS didn't seem to last as long as her symptoms. My wife was on Prozac, but I wasn't told about it, I saw the bottle. I don't think she is on it now. It must not have helped.

This is were we differ, the other poster wrote:

> Some of her symptoms include:
Severe mood swings
Depression, hopelessness, sadness, crying
Extreme irritability, anxiety, anger, fear
Fatigue, lethargy, lack of energy
Decreased self-esteem
Severe migraine headaches
Severe cramping
Breast pain, muscle aches
Sleep difficulties and
Insomnia followed by long periods of deep sleep

me:
My wife only seems to have the Extreme rritability, and anger problems. I am the brunt f most of her anger. She is like two different people, and it is hard for me to explain this to others. I dread when she starts into one of her "moods" because I know it will last for at least a week, then settle for a day or two, then go back full throttle for another week, then it will be over, just like that. But she is only "nice" for the first 10 days of every month. Part of the time she will mood swing between nice and angry withing seconds.

I wrote:

She is able to control this behavior if we are in public or when her friends call her, but the second we are in the car, or alone, wham, she will let me have it with both barrels

I know that many nights she will take a sleeping pill, so that must mean that she has trouble sleeping. She has always needed 9 hours of sleep as long as I can remember.

Her sex drive is about nill.

She doesn't have crying spells that I know of. I don't think she has the physical ailments that others have. Basically, it is the anger that I notice the most. I have seen her go into a rage over the way our dishwasher has been packed, then the same scenario a few days later, and she won't even care, and might even laugh about it. I walk on pins and needles, not knowing which way she will take things.

She did complain about an excessive heavy period last month.

Previous poster wrote:

> She drinks lots of coffee (which might contribute to her difficulty in sleeping which might contribute to her irritability). Whenever she has an episode, I always notice that it happens to coincide with her period (which she denies), and after it subsides, she swings the other way into being in a great mood as if nothing is wrong. It is an incredibly difficult roller coaster ride for both of us.

my post:
Same for me. She drinks coffee every day, and I get the same roller-coaster ride every month.

Previous post:

> The irritability often causes great stress in our relationship. She is a very sweet, sensitive and intelligent woman, and I love her very much and want to stand by her and support her, but it is so difficult when this "THING" seems to get between us. I am struggling with how to help her and I am hoping that someone might please have some insight or suggestions to help us. Does any of this sound like PMS, PMDD or Bipolar to any of you? Any ideas or suggestions for what I or she can do?

my post:
I struggle also. She tells me over and over that she hates me and is going to divorce me, but she never does. I can't very well leaver her if she really is sick, that wouldn't be ethical. I asked her today if she would see a mental health professional, she instead told me that I am the problem, and she is going to see a lawyer. I know that in 4 days she will be fine and forget about the lawyer.

So ... do you think this is PMDD, PMS, Bi-polar, or is there something I am missing?

 

Re: PMS vs. PMDD vs. Bipolar

Posted by susan C on January 28, 2002, at 12:39:06

In reply to Re: PMS vs. PMDD vs. Bipolar, posted by Joe J on January 28, 2002, at 1:09:43

dear dear

Maybe I should have you talk to my husband. I think there maybe several things going on at the same time. Here, in no particular order, and only from my own experience:

1. She is very lucky to have you, but also see #10

2. It is very difficult for oneself to accept these things until she witnesses them for herself. Maybe she has and is so embarrassed she can't discuss it. Denial is not just a river in Egypt

3. I knew something was wrong for a l o n g time and when PMS first was described, I said, hey hey, thats it!!!!only it isn't.

3. I found great relief using progesterone (not progestin) (you can do a search on PB about that subject.) For a while.

4. At age 40 there is also Perimenopause to consider.

5. Coffee, caffine is bad, but until you are off the river in egypt it is hard to refuse the waiter

6. Bipolar, rapid cycling (with in hours, minutes, days, weeks) can happen or be exaserbated by the shifts in Estrogens (proconvulsants) and Progesterone (anticonvulsant).

7. No one really knows the answer, or how to find it or identiify it until it "disrupts daily life" and the answers seem to come through a process of trial and error by a very stubborn patient and doctor(s).

8. How much of a saint are you? Can there be an 'intervention'? Like Alchololic anonymous for codependancy, how much are you willing to put up with before you say good by? Do you have a therapist?

9. It could also be a seizure disorder...

10, Have you ever heard someone say about a child, they are wonderful at school but terrible at home? Or the reverse? There is a perspective that some people only act out at those with whom they feel at ease with...maybe that is what is happening in the car...

"Ten Comments From My Life"
By Mouse

 

Re: PMS vs. PMDD vs. Bipolar

Posted by Joe J on January 28, 2002, at 22:36:52

In reply to Re: PMS vs. PMDD vs. Bipolar, posted by susan C on January 28, 2002, at 12:39:06


Thank you Susan,

I do have a therapist. Actually, we have been to 8 marriage counselors. None of them have helped. Some of them have hurt. None of them can see, or even imagine, what she is really like. She can be so different in public. I went to my own therapist for 2 years, but haven't been back for probably 5 years now. Maybe it is time to go back.

I told my wife for the 2nd time today that I think she has PMDD. The first time I told her today, she said it was a wifes-tail, and is not in any of the medical journals. I told her that it was a newly discovered illness and wouldn't be in any medical journals. She said I was a sicko and walked away. (Hmmm ... is it really an illness? Why isn't it in any medical journals? I do see it all over the internet, but that doesn't make it true.).

The 2nd time just, 1/2 hour ago ... she became extremely angry. She slammed the door on her way out of the house. She is at a level 10 out of 10 on her anger level, and told me that she wanted to kill me. I haven't seen her this angry in 3 months, actually, hmmm ... it was exactly 3 months ago to the day, almost to the hour, that she was previously this angry. October 28, 2001 was her last major episode (I remember because it was on one of our children's birthday's). Tonight, her face turned a deep red as she screamed she is filing for divorce tommorrow and screamed at me that I am the one that has PMDD and I am abusive. She then told me she wanted to gouge my eyes out of my head. She threw things around the living room, then blamed me for throwing them, and told me she would wreck my stuff if I threw her stuff around (that was confusing since I didn't throw anything). The last thing she said to me as she walked out was "die". I remained calm, but told her I thought she should see a mental health professional.

Do women with PMDD ever actually become violent, or do they just say they want to be violent? I think she is frustrated and is sure that I am the root of all her ills, and if she divorces me then she will happy.

I know she won't file, she threatens me with that weekly. In just a few days, she should be out of this episode. She is usually done with her "bad moods" by the 1st day of each month, but then she starts back into her "bad moods" between the 10th and the 14th of each month. I look calm on the outside, but I am a bundle of nerves on the inside.

Sorry for giving all the details in this forum. I had to release this energy someplace. There are womens shelters, but there are no mens shelters.

I bet I am not the only husband that is suffering from this dreadfull puzzle. It is ruining my life. I look at other people, and I am jelleous that they have a good life, and I have a miserable life.

I wonder if I am hindering her recovery by staying in this relationship?

And now the really scarey question? Is this hereditary? I think her Mother had this when she was the same age. Could my daughter get this?

Thanks for listening.


> dear dear
>
> Maybe I should have you talk to my husband. I think there maybe several things going on at the same time. Here, in no particular order, and only from my own experience:
>
> 1. She is very lucky to have you, but also see #10
>
> 2. It is very difficult for oneself to accept these things until she witnesses them for herself. Maybe she has and is so embarrassed she can't discuss it. Denial is not just a river in Egypt
>
> 3. I knew something was wrong for a l o n g time and when PMS first was described, I said, hey hey, thats it!!!!only it isn't.
>
> 3. I found great relief using progesterone (not progestin) (you can do a search on PB about that subject.) For a while.
>
> 4. At age 40 there is also Perimenopause to consider.
>
> 5. Coffee, caffine is bad, but until you are off the river in egypt it is hard to refuse the waiter
>
> 6. Bipolar, rapid cycling (with in hours, minutes, days, weeks) can happen or be exaserbated by the shifts in Estrogens (proconvulsants) and Progesterone (anticonvulsant).
>
> 7. No one really knows the answer, or how to find it or identiify it until it "disrupts daily life" and the answers seem to come through a process of trial and error by a very stubborn patient and doctor(s).
>
> 8. How much of a saint are you? Can there be an 'intervention'? Like Alchololic anonymous for codependancy, how much are you willing to put up with before you say good by? Do you have a therapist?
>
> 9. It could also be a seizure disorder...
>
> 10, Have you ever heard someone say about a child, they are wonderful at school but terrible at home? Or the reverse? There is a perspective that some people only act out at those with whom they feel at ease with...maybe that is what is happening in the car...
>
> "Ten Comments From My Life"
> By Mouse

 

Re: PMS vs. PMDD vs. Bipolar

Posted by susan C on January 28, 2002, at 23:08:12

In reply to Re: PMS vs. PMDD vs. Bipolar, posted by Joe J on January 28, 2002, at 22:36:52

you are welcome

My understanding is PMDD is description of a type of PMS, which has been recognized...The very serious kind is not common, so many people, even health care professionals, discount it. That happened to me.

"If I were You", I would call the womens care shelter in your area, even if I was a guy. I would make a plan for your family. I would call doctor and give them copies of the posts you made here.

concerned mouse

 

Re: PMS vs. PMDD vs. Bipolar » Joe J

Posted by IsoM on January 29, 2002, at 2:07:57

In reply to Re: PMS vs. PMDD vs. Bipolar, posted by Joe J on January 28, 2002, at 22:36:52

Joe, I think the advice Susan gave you was good & I can't add to it except...

Is it possible to set up a tape recorder somewhere unnoticed (letting it run)& tape an episode like this? If you could play it back when she's feeling good again & ask her about it?

Or perhaps, even to show a doctor? To show that it really does happen. And yes, PMDD does exist & not just on the interent. The Society For Women's Health Research takes it very seriously. Check out their site:
http://www.womens-health.org/PMDD.html

And lastly, it is very rare, but it has happened that an otherwise peacable woman has become violent in this mode. Sorry, not trying to scare you but as Susan suggested, be prepared. Your wife's problems sound very severe. I really hope you get the help you very much need, & your poor wife too - her life must be miserable too.

 

Re: PMS vs. PMDD vs. Bipolar (long) » Joe J

Posted by wendy b. on January 29, 2002, at 9:27:11

In reply to Re: PMS vs. PMDD vs. Bipolar, posted by Joe J on January 28, 2002, at 1:09:43

Dear Joe,

I'm so sorry this has been happening to you, and for such a long time, too. I have no concrete answers, or maybe, no true "solution" to your problem.

I do know that YOU are not responsible for her behavior. No matter how many times, and how violently she berates and blames you, you are OK. And she is not. She has to somehow see that her actions and her behavior are her OWN responsibility, not yours. She cannot keep blaming you for the things she 'perceives' you are doing to ruin her life. She cannot keep threatening you with divorce. This is abuse, plain and simple, even though she is saying you are the abuser.

I think going to a crisis center for women might be good, at least give you some ideas on how to protect yourself. Part of what they will tell you (I've been to one!) is that walking around on pins and needles is not good for you. The power and control she has over you is also something you contribute to. You have to break the cycle, because you deserve much more than this...

The PMS vs PMDD vs bipolar issues are difficult to sort out. I think the general lowdown on PMS vs PMDD, first of all, is that PMS is an older way of saying the woman has cramps, pain and irritability around the time of her period. It's not exactly a syndrome, like PMDD, which sounds about right for your wife.

Women are such strange creatures! and I say that with humour and a little ironic grin... The female hormones cause a whole array of symptoms, including that horrible anger and irritability. I know because I suffered from it for a long while, until I bought myself a little book on PERI- (not PRE)- menopause, and found out, for example, that between the ages of 35 and 50 (15 yrs, a LONG stretch of time), a woman's hormones are adjusting themselves, and readjusting themselves, and there is a lot of fallout from that. Some months, there is no production of an egg, because of hormone fluctuations, and there is emotional fallout when peiods are missed, or you can't count on when you're going to bleed next. Anger and irritability, heavy bleeding, ovarian cysts, cervical dysplasia (sp?), endometriosis, the list goes on.

The good things I found out from the book are that you CAN medically manage at least some of the symptoms with medication, therapy, etc. In other words, there are treatments. The symptoms have to be recognized by the patient, though, the hang-up in your wife's case. For my anger/irritability, and budding depression, I went to my OB/GYN, and he had some real answers, not the magic bullet, but there was help to be had. I went on hormone therapy (oral contraceptives), and later sertraline (Zoloft), and the symptoms were relieved. The secondary benefit from the pill was that my very heavy bleeding stopped. The pill overrides the hormones that mimic the cycle. That may not work for everyone, and lots of people don't want to take hormones. That is their choice, but the pill is so different from what it used to be, the hormones are very low-dose. See Susan's post above for more natural alternatives than mine...

When I went on Zoloft, it was a few months after I started the pill. I realized I was still depressed, and had been anxious since childhood. The OB/GYN suggested the anti-depressant. It worked for me for many years. Eventually, however, I was properly diagnosed with bipolar illness, heavy on the depressive end (rather than the manic), though I do have periods of hypomania, which begins with not getting enough sleep, and then getting all the other associated symptoms. Anyway, my point here is that I was not yet so far gone that I couldn't SEE there was something wrong with my behavior, and I wanted to do everything I could to fix my problems and change for the better. Therapy for the last 10 yrs is also a great help to me.

Getting back to your wife: she may very well have bipolar illness. When she flies into rages and screams at you, the symptoms sound very much like mania or at least hypomania. Her brain by now is hard-wired to react this way every month. It sounds like there may be a very big hormonal component, and that she rapid-cycles during that 10-day period. But what I'm saying is that it's not an either/or situation. She may have both PMDD and BP (I or II) at the same time. Not an unlikely scenario at all...

What to do: I like the suggestion of taping her. When I first read your post, I thought to videotape her going off would be good, but now I see that would inflame her too much. A tape recording would be a good way of you "proving" to others that she is doing what you say she is, behaving like a monster for at least a third of the month. I suggest you take it to your family doctor or GP, if you have one. If not, get a good general practioner. Explain to him/her your situation. Print out your posts from this Board and give them to the dr. Ask what you can do. Maybe you can both meet with the dr, with the explanation that there is something wrong with YOU, and that you need her to be at the appointment. Then you can try again to confront her with her behavior, and tell her that it is making you miserable and that it has to stop, i.e., she has to go to a good p-doc who can diagnose her and give her medical options.

I know some or most of these suggestions may not work at all. The biggest problem will be getting her to a dr's appointment with you.

Your own mental health must be considered. You want to stick by your wife, I understand. But at what cost to you? You are still there and supportive, but it takes two to make a relationship, and she is not there for you. You have needs and desires too. How are they getting satisfied? Where are your pleasures coming from, or do you have any at all at this point? Are there children? What is happening to them when your wife goes over the edge?

The last thing I would suggest is going to a lawyer. She may, someday, make good on her threats, but if you see an attorney first (half-hour initial consultations are usually free), and know your rights, you will have control of the situation. Mental control, so you don't feel at her mercy in this matter, as well as the others. I'm not saying this to be cruel - I know you love her... And I don't think any attorney in their right mind would listen to or take seriously the rantings of someone like your wife when she is in high gear...

Take any or all or some of the advice here. Sorry to have gone on and on... Your situation sounds so bad, and again, I really feel for you. Please write back and let us know how you feel, what's been happening, etc.

with concern,

Wendy

 

Wendy....which oral contraceptive ?

Posted by bonnie_ann on January 29, 2002, at 21:42:55

In reply to Re: PMS vs. PMDD vs. Bipolar (long) » Joe J, posted by wendy b. on January 29, 2002, at 9:27:11

I'm currently having mood swings. I'm blaming PMS.
when i get my
Period - I feel like a cloud has lifted, More energy, less appetite - tolerant.
Then I get feeling weepy and needy-
There are times during the month I dont want to be touched-by hubby and don't want to answer his questions, and feel like I need to be alone -and quiet.
And somewhere in there i have cravings- chocolate mostly and fried foods.
I've decided to try switching birth control.
I've read that depending on how much of each hormone it produces certain side effects.
I'm currently taking one with high progestin/degesotral- i'm switching to one that has less progestin - hoping that will help.
Bonnie

www.wdxcyber.com/ncontr13.htm

 

sorry your having a tough time joe

Posted by bonnie_ann on January 29, 2002, at 21:51:06

In reply to Re: PMS vs. PMDD vs. Bipolar » Joe J, posted by IsoM on January 29, 2002, at 2:07:57

> It sounds like to me that your wife really needs help. I wish I new what to tell you.
Maybe take her up on the divorce or at least seperate. No one deserves to live like that.
I would definately leave.
Bonnie
Take your children with you and get a restraining order if you need to.

 

Re: Wendy's given you some wise advice Joe. (nm)

Posted by Dinah on January 29, 2002, at 22:44:32

In reply to Re: PMS vs. PMDD vs. Bipolar (long) » Joe J, posted by wendy b. on January 29, 2002, at 9:27:11

 

Re: PMS vs. PMDD vs. Bipolar (long)

Posted by Joe J on January 30, 2002, at 0:23:18

In reply to Re: PMS vs. PMDD vs. Bipolar (long) » Joe J, posted by wendy b. on January 29, 2002, at 9:27:11

Wow, thank you all! And sorry for dragging you all into my nightmare.

I think I am going to do the audo-tape thing first. I had contemplated that a year ago, but I was going to do that more for my benefit, and never considered that she probably doesn't realize the extent of her rage. You are right, I can only let her listen to herself when she is in her "nice mood". It will take another month now before I can do that. She came out of her "bad mood" today. A couple days ago, I told her that she would come out of it on Feb 1st, and be her normal old nice self again for 10 days. My prediction was off by 2 days. She won't start back into her "bad mood" until sometime between the 10th and the 14th of Feb. A big sigh of relief -- I made it through another month! Whew.
I am extatic.

She came home last night after only about 1 hour. She was calm, didn't say a word, and went right to bed. This morning, she took the garbage out to the garage, and put the bag on the hood of my car. She called me at work twice today, and was agitated with me both times, but her anger was fizling, down around a 5 out of 10 level. Tonight, I took my youngest son and we went out for a fun-night, but I got home about an hour late. Normally, she would have been in my face yelling for 5 minutes over such an infraction, screaming that I am a terrible Dad, etc. So I was pretty tense when I walked in the door, but she was very pleasant, smiling, and being nice, never said a word about it. Darn, now this gets me feeling irritated. I was all tensed up waiting for her to explode, and then she is sweet and nice as pie. But ... YES ... now I am extremely happy. Made it through another Hurrican.

See ... now I don't feel like doing the divorce thing because I will have 10 nice days. This is the cycle I go through every month. I know I am in the eye of the Hurricane, but the eye of the Hurricane is so peacefull.

Thank you all again.

 

Re: PMS vs. PMDD vs. Bipolar

Posted by Joe J on February 24, 2002, at 13:09:43

In reply to Re: PMS vs. PMDD vs. Bipolar (long), posted by Joe J on January 30, 2002, at 0:23:18

Hi,

Thought I would give you an update. The PMDD wasn't quite over the last time I posted. There was one more incident on 2/1/2002 then peace for 14 days, then a couple of small flare-ups, then peace until the 17th of February when this months PMDD started.

January was a Hurricane, but since Feb 17th I have had a constant drizzle of her telling me she distrusts me, can't stand me, correcting me, and telling me what a loser I am, with a few isolated thunderstorms of temper, but nothing like the rage and unstability that I witnessed last month.

She did tell me a few days ago that because I told her that I thought she has PMDD she was trying to be mean all month, I guess to prove me wrong. She hasn't been though, Even though Feb hasn't been as intense, there is still a day that I can tell she started to get angrier.

Maybe, since I told her about PMDD, she realizes that she does have something wrong, and is not going to do the rage thing.

I friend of mine suggested that I move out for 2 weeks per month and then back when it is over. Has anyone tried that?

 

Re: PMS vs. PMDD vs. Bipolar

Posted by Kristi on February 24, 2002, at 13:26:24

In reply to Re: PMS vs. PMDD vs. Bipolar, posted by Joe J on February 24, 2002, at 13:09:43

Hi Joe..
I'm real sorry you have to be going thru this. I've followed your posts from the beginning.

I totally agree... that this could be pms related and all that.. but maybe you are focusing to much on it with her? I was kind of putting myself in her place... and if that was being thrown at me all the time, and focused on all the time, it would make me defensive and angry. It goes back to how men make the statement when their girl is angry or irritable..... it must be pms. It's hard to hear, even tho you may be right. SHe could very well be possibly tired of hearing it and lashing out???? I don't know, just a thought. I just know me......and if my man was tracking my dates.... telling me what I'm feeling, it would be too much. Maybe if you just let it go for a while and see if it helps?

Just a suggestion and a thought...... again, I wish I could offer more..... good luck and hang in their. Kristi

 

Re: PMS vs. PMDD vs. Bipolar

Posted by noa on February 24, 2002, at 16:07:47

In reply to Re: PMS vs. PMDD vs. Bipolar, posted by Joe J on February 24, 2002, at 13:09:43

> I friend of mine suggested that I move out for 2 weeks per month and then back when it is over. Has anyone tried that?

Maybe that is the origin of the "red tent" phenomenon in many ancient (and current traditional) cultures---only they blamed it on the impurity of the blood!

Sorry to respond so flippantly. It is so hard to know what you should do, although I think Kristi's post is very thoughtful on the subject.

If you are at the point of considering a move out, albeit temporary and intermittent, maybe you could ask your wife to join you in some counseling about how to deal with this aspect of your marriage--ie, frame it not just as "her problem" but "our problem".

Do you think she'd give it a try?

 

Re: PMS vs. PMDD vs. Bipolar

Posted by Kristi on February 24, 2002, at 16:27:21

In reply to Re: PMS vs. PMDD vs. Bipolar, posted by noa on February 24, 2002, at 16:07:47

> > I friend of mine suggested that I move out for 2 weeks per month and then back when it is over. Has anyone tried that?
>
> Maybe that is the origin of the "red tent" phenomenon in many ancient (and current traditional) cultures---only they blamed it on the impurity of the blood!
>
> Sorry to respond so flippantly. It is so hard to know what you should do, although I think Kristi's post is very thoughtful on the subject.
>
> If you are at the point of considering a move out, albeit temporary and intermittent, maybe you could ask your wife to join you in some counseling about how to deal with this aspect of your marriage--ie, frame it not just as "her problem" but "our problem".
>
> Do you think she'd give it a try?

Thats a terrific idea. That way she won't feel alienated which could lead to defensiveness.

 

Re: PMS vs. PMDD vs. Bipolar » Joe J

Posted by helenbpd on February 24, 2002, at 18:29:07

In reply to Re: PMS vs. PMDD vs. Bipolar, posted by Joe J on February 24, 2002, at 13:09:43

Hi Joe,

Another possibility is a personality disorder, except that as you say she seems to go through traceable swings with her menstrual cycle. Personality disorders are not cyclical (although they can be triggered by events that occur cyclically).

Still, it might not hurt to check it out.
Look at:

http://home.hvc.rr.com/helenbpd

for more information. From what you write, she is a *classic* for the BPD diagnosis (esp the raging and denial, the rescripting of events). However, nobody can or should do any sort of diagnosing online.
Did your wife suffer any kind of abuse or trauma as a child? What's her life history like?
Could these rages be dissociative episodes?

Please do check out the resources on BPD and see what you think.
Here's a quick run-through to see whether you think there's a "fit":
http://www.bpdcentral.com/resources/basics/indicators.shtml

You can reach me via my website (above) if you've got more questions. The support groups for partners of those with BPD might really, really provide you with the needed outlet and support. You're welcome to drop by any time (links to a number of the groups are on my site). You might find a number of great support tips there, regardless of her "official" diagnosis.

best,
Helen

> Hi,
>
> Thought I would give you an update. The PMDD wasn't quite over the last time I posted. There was one more incident on 2/1/2002 then peace for 14 days, then a couple of small flare-ups, then peace until the 17th of February when this months PMDD started.
>


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