Posted by alexandra_k on March 29, 2014, at 23:07:39
In reply to Re: This is hard » Angela2, posted by baseball55 on March 29, 2014, at 20:55:22
sometimes... one can only accept people's limitations. i mean, sometimes there simply isn't anything else to be done. i've had friends who were chronically unreliable. one of them promised to drive me to the airport for an international flight and she forgot... i nearly missed my flight because of that... i nearly cut her out of my life because of that... but then i figured out that i could still have fun with her... i'd just never put myself into the position of relying on her for anything like that again because she wasn't trustworthy.
similarly another friend... who would promise to meet me... or to stop by... and would never show. i nearly cut her, too. in the end i said to her 'call me to let me know when you are literally on your way and five minutes away otherwise we don't make plans to meet'. that worked out well... i was never disappointed by her again.
if you know he has a tendency to lie... then you reserve the right to be skeptical about everything he says... he might be lying because he wants... comisseration... empathy... something. i guess you can provide him with a little care even without believing the literal content of what he is saying... i guess i'd hold a person like that a bit at arms length... because i value trusworthiness... but i don't really see what is wrong with relying on him for emotional support if he's good with that...
maybe it is just about accepting his limitations... and accepting that given what you value... you might not be prepared to let him get quite as close to you as you thought... does this make sense?
poster:alexandra_k
thread:1063408
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20140312/msgs/1063420.html