Posted by Dinah on February 3, 2006, at 10:25:25
In reply to Re: Social Anxiety, etc. » Dinah, posted by Sarah T. on February 3, 2006, at 1:46:40
I'm a way different person in person.
I am not sure my social rhythm problems have to do with anxiety, since I also have those problems with groups that I feel perfectly comfortable with. I think there's just a few things that are a bit "off" about me. Or different. I don't mean to judge it negatively. It just is.
But I admittedly do also have social anxiety. I've always dealt with it personally by trying to find someone who looks just as, or more, uncomfortable than I do and trying to reach out to that person. It generally works fine.
The thing I'm embarassed about doing was bringing something up publicly that I had already brought up privately with the school. It wasn't out of line with what other parents expressed concerns were. And in fact less than some. But since I had already expressed the concern, I don't think I should have done so in the group again. And there was a bit of feedback, however gentle, that I shouldn't have.
Added to that was the fact that it was combined with my social rhythm difficulties so that it didn't mesh well with the other expressions of concerns and so stood out.
I'm sure we'll all get over it. But it reinforces my belief that I shouldn't be allowed out in public.
Which by the way is not only my conviction. My husband stopped socializing with coworkers when we got married and hasn't been very secretive about the fact that I tend to embarass him. Which is really ok, because it's something we've long acknowledged.
My therapist also acknowledges my social awkwardness, although he of course encourages me to get out and about anyway. He tries to coach me sometimes on what I do wrong.
I think the major problem is that I'm sensitive enough to nuance to pick up how I'm being received more than, say, my husband. But that's coupled with some eccentricities and social difficulties (like the rhythm) that make it impossible for me to make use of the subtle feedback I'm getting. Which is incredibly frustrating.
poster:Dinah
thread:605005
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20060203/msgs/605851.html