Posted by Sarah T. on February 3, 2006, at 1:46:40
In reply to Re: I'm never leaving the house again » Sarah T., posted by Dinah on February 1, 2006, at 10:07:47
Hi Dinah,
I find it interesting that you think you have difficulty with social rhythms, such as knowing when to enter a conversation. I would have never guessed that about you from your writing content and style, which are always timed and expressed so well.
I think anxiety in social situations as well as performance anxiety (in the performing arts, for example) can be alleviated by thinking less about oneself and more about the other person or the audience. Articles and books about overcoming social anxiety usually advise thinking more about the other person in order take the focus off of oneself. Instead of thinking, "Oh, no! They must think I'm a fool. They must think I'm not wearing the right clothes. They must think I'm not pretty enough," try to think about the other person, listen to what they are saying, and try to make them feel at ease. According to these self-help books, the process of helping others feel at ease automatically makes one feel more at ease.
A long time ago, I read a book about stage fright. It was written by a musician who was told by her first violin teacher to think of the audience as a bunch of cabbage heads. The teacher thought that would help calm her student's anxiety, but it didn't work. Many years and many performances later, the author discovered that what helped her most was to think of her violin music as a gift to the people in the audience. This connected her to the audience, yet shifted the focus away from her and onto the music and the listeners. I like that idea.
Sarah
poster:Sarah T.
thread:605005
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20060124/msgs/605773.html