Posted by Angielala on February 12, 2005, at 19:10:39
In reply to Jay gives the Ultimatum..comments needed :), posted by jay on February 12, 2005, at 14:32:18
Hey there, Jay...
It seems like you know that the relationship is over, but are having a hard time letting it go, understandably so (seeing that she doesn't seem to be communicating at all)- so you did exactly what I have always done- gave her the final control in that one last effort. You don't need to do that in the future once you realize that you don't want to be in a relationship. Next time you'll be able to say, "Nope, I gave you a chance or two, it didn't work, I'm not letting you take anything more from me emotionally. It's too bad that didn't work. Bubye.".
Realize that you just made a very good, personal decision, even though it seems like you threw the ball back in her court. You know what you want/need, and it's not her. PLease don't feel badly about this, because soooo many people aren't able to say goodbye when they come to this kind of realization.
On a completely different side...
You mention that she doesn't take her meds and speaks poorly of you taking yours. That's a big red flag. You can help people, people do need help, but when they don't want to help themselves, you can't help them. There is probably an odd jealousy that she has about your confidence in your meds and staying the path. Sounds weird, but I think it happens.
All in all, Jay, this shows me that you are a strong, loving person. You get hurt because you are so loving- it happens to SOOO many people that are loving- just ask the people on this board! Notice that these same loving people are also the strongest.
You have a big heart, find the person that wants to share that heart with you, not break it.
poster:Angielala
thread:456803
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20050205/msgs/456913.html