Posted by kara lynne on June 4, 2003, at 19:15:49
In reply to Kara Lynne, posted by Greg A. on June 4, 2003, at 16:26:58
Hi Greg,
Nice to hear from you. Boy, you certainly have been through the gamut. Yes, thank God the meds are working for you. What I wouldn't give... I'm one of those Treatment Resistant Depressives, myself. Do you think the ECT treatments were helpful?It's easy to see why you wouldn't understand the situation with my boyfriend. What a mess it is. At this point I'm waiting to get through the month and finish some important things I need to do. After that I have no excuse to stay in the relationship unless I resign myself to lifetime of unhappiness. I'm having trouble believing there will be anything else out there for me though, which keeps me in a bad situation long after the expiration date. Also, as you know, the depression prohibits me from being a good little social butterfly, or even getting out of bed some days. Not likely to find a relationship that way.
I'm hoping you're happy in your marriage--that you're still together is a good sign! My boyfriend forgot to marry me (probably a good thing) even though that was the original plan in moving in together. Then we ran into a couple of problems to say the least. His only real interest is his work, which is sometimes (like this past week) very high profile with a lot of parties, P.R. and shmoozing. This can be quite difficult and almost painful for me, especially when the relationship has such a shaky foundation. On top of that and most seriously, my boyfriend has a substance abuse problem he is not dealing with. This leads to so many other myriad problems, not the least being his complete emotional detachment and his rarely being home. Then he'll say, "You're not interested enough in my work." And I'll say, "I haven't seen you in 5 days." He'll deflect and I'll believe something's wrong with me; works out well.
He was saying and doing all the right things a couple of weeks ago (including a very convincing go at a 12 step program), but he let the ball drop again. I have tried so hard with him, but am forever disappointed (again and again) by his actions. Not to mention pissed off at myself for whatever it is in me that has let it go on so long, while I watch all my dreams turn into nightmares.
Well I've certainly rambled and told you far more than you ever asked for. Thank you for writing and telling me your story. I'd love to hear from you again whenever you feel like it.
Take care,
Kara Lynne
poster:kara lynne
thread:231436
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20030604/msgs/231481.html