Posted by WorryGirl on May 18, 2003, at 19:26:05
In reply to Re: intuition is telling me to quit meds » WorryGirl, posted by whiterabbit on May 18, 2003, at 16:56:04
> I've been considering whether to open my mouth about this and obviously, I've decided to butt in.
> I think it's a mistake for you, WorryGirl, to have the impression that all medication is bad and no medication is good. I don't think you should be so determined to "somehow make it without meds." If you're really miserable and have been for quite awhile, try to keep an open mind about medication instead of saying, "No thanks, I don't want a life-jacket, if I can't make it to shore on my own I'd rather just drown."
> What's the point of that?
>
> I have a friend who's mother is obviously bipolar.
> I recognize many of the symptoms from my own illness, the signs are pronounced and classic. Sometimes she's too depressed and hung over to get out of bed for days. Other times, even though she's in serious financial trouble, she'll go on wild spending sprees, maxing out credit card after credit card. While she's fairly stable most of the time, she can get totally out of control, and often her family has to pick up the pieces.
>
> Still, this woman doesn't want to rely on daily medication. She proclaims that she's managing to live without it, which is true, but she's paying a very high price for her stubborness. Her kids have forgiven her a thousand times for calling at 2:00 am in a manic rage, but they truly resent her for making them so miserable. She can't keep a job and the bank is about to take her house.
> Her life is a terrible mess but at least she's not relying on medication, by God, she's getting by without it.
>
> I know this is a dramatic example and may not apply to you in any way. Like Greg, I realize that I need psychiatric medication because the unmedicated Gracie is one sick pup. Your circumstances might be different, and you are following a traditional practice in medicine by first applying a "conservative" approach - psychotherapy. But if psychotherapy doesn't help enough, do consider medication - don't rule it out completely.
> -Gracie
Thanks, Gracie. I would never consider you to be butting in.I have had a fear of meds (mostly a fear of dependency on the meds more than the meds themselves).
I am starting to believe that I am going to need them, though, and it will be something I bring up to the p-therapist. One thing she said that made me feel better already about calling her was that if she felt I needed something more or that someone else might be able to help me more, she would refer me to them.
I didn't bring up manic-depression on the phone, just my social anxieties, bulimia and GAD, but I'm going to have to bring it up. I've been blaming these mood swings on PMDD, too, but the reality is, my swings are getting continually more damaging and worse. I had something traumatic happen to me 3 weeks ago (unrelated to my moods) that I won't go into here, but since that time I've swung into one of my worst depressions. And my husband is barely speaking to me this past week (because of my dire mood). There has been too much going on at home, I haven't had enough support and I'm falling to pieces. Socially, I feel emptier and lonelier than ever. My husband used to try to be sympathetic but he's lost all tolerance for my tearful longings now.
I've put on another 5 lb. and when I mentioned doing some heavy-duty dieting for a week, he actually said, without realizing what he said, "I'd rather have you fat then dieting". Then he caught himself and said, "Of course, I think you look great and don't need to diet". Just one more douse of gasoline and I'll be calling 911 (just kidding - I shouldn't joke about it but that's sort of how I feel).
I am nervous, but kind of looking forward to my therapy session. It's in the pretty part of town, too!
Yes, I've been miserable, but there is hopefully some hope. Have meds made a big difference for you? How do they affect your manic rages?
I hope you don't mind me asking, but when people meet you for the first time do you seem pretty normal (this ? probably sounds strange)? Does it take long for people to know you have a mood disorder? Or is it something that really only those close to you notice and feel?
I ask this because I wonder if, socially, being medicated might help me.
poster:WorryGirl
thread:226994
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20030517/msgs/227495.html