Posted by trouble on March 9, 2002, at 3:30:51
In reply to Re: what's a thought disorder? » trouble, posted by sar on March 6, 2002, at 13:11:09
> trouble,
>
> you wrote, "ever get the feeling you're being cheated?"
>
>
> i don't know if i like psychology so much anymore...really. i had wanted to get a master's in psychology, but now i feel like it's not fair
> wellbutrin is having weird effects on me. sorry if i'm on a rant.
No Sar, no, Wellbutrin isn't messing w/ your mind in regard to these feelings, they're completely lucid and understandable. In fact I am amazed at your equanimity considering all the contact you've had w/ the psychiatric establishment, I haven't had hardly any, and I could spit on the entire MHMR lot, the way I've been looked at during intakes and so forth, acting on-guard as if I just might go off on them like detective Sipowicz. That's me, the long arm of the law.Having been treated by boobs motivates me to get into the fray myself as a consumer-practitioner, there's noplace else I really feel needed. But I hate psychology. I hate social workers too.
And out of about six I had one good MHMR pdoc who I only saw a couple times since they come and go so fast and she was on her way to private practice. First time I saw her muttering around the filing cabinet I figured her for the cleaning lady, she was obese, wearing an old sweatshirt, no bra, and mannish footwear. Then she opened her mouth and diamonds fell out for fifty minutes straight. All business. Not one extraneous word, no stupid questions, steady eye-contact, measured pauses before speaking, and delicious sneering and harrumphing at appropriate junctures.
Where do they come from, why do they do it? Imagine the shit they get through medical school. It's this kind of dedication that pulls me back to my own ambivalent psych studies, like you I became disgusted and disillusioned w/ the whole farce once I really started studying it. The first whole chapter of my introductory psych textbook was a ridiculous indoctrination about psychology being a "science." On and on it went, like a neglected stepchild, we are scientists, you'll see, just you wait, just keep reading. But the ENTIRE textbook cover was a soft focus snapshot of a man and woman walking hand in hand along a sandy beach. Cognitive dissonance anyone?!
I have also had job interviews w/a couple psychiatric treatment facilities in town and the first thing I asked was do you use physical restraints and both interviewers tried to downplay it (Only when we really, really have to, trouble), and there's no way I'm going to be a part of that. I was even a volunteer advocate at the state hospital for a few weeks, but lost the position for dressing too provocatively, too bad since my supervisor had her head on straight when it came to fighting for the patients, w/out alienating the psychiatrists in the process, a total sweetheart, whose memory stays w/me, so I know the're out there, fighting the good fight, but I'm still not sure I can devote the rest of my life to something I don't much believe in. The language alone makes me barf. I'm embarrassed to use it. So I'm trying to prepare myself, if I do study psychology, for the inevitable question sure to come up, What are you majoring in? "Malarky. And you?"
love, troublep.s. darlin, the new me is now citing literary sources 'til someone comes along and says I don't have to, so the ever feel you've been cheated remark was made by Johnny Rotten at the end of the final Sex Pistols concert on the night the band broke up at San Fransisco's Winterland, 1979 or 1980, don't remember which.
Lousy footnotes.
poster:trouble
thread:19250
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20020305/msgs/19509.html