Posted by Greg A. on March 4, 2002, at 13:39:51
In reply to Haven't been posting. Addictive relatonship, posted by Phil on March 3, 2002, at 18:18:43
Phil,
I hesitate to admit to it, but I did the same thing as you – with a few personal variations thrown in. Specifics – married woman confides in me about her husband’s affair. I am married as well. Can’t get married woman off my mind. She tries to discourage me but halfheartedly, as she needs the attention while hubby is messing around. I’m hooked. Spend next 2 years fighting with myself and my feelings. We never have physical relationship but lots of ‘secret’ sessions of talking etc. End up sending letters and emails that probably sounded a lot like yours. Anger and frustration that she could not see things my way.
I work with this woman so I have had to come to terms with my obsession in order to survive. When I finally broke away and stopped seeing her, I was eventually able to realize that she was a nice person but with a lot of problems. The bad outweighed the good in the final tally, but for 2 years I was unable to see that. I am still married. She is not. She has forgiven me for the angry notes, but I think I still hold a grudge that she strung me along for so long. I know I wanted to be ‘strung along’ but it could have stopped so much sooner. I can finally, honestly say, I am glad I am not with her. I am not sure how she feels, but it no longer really concerns me. Do I sound bitter? More mad at myself for how I acted and how much time I wasted., I think.Hang in there Phil. We do these dumb things which we regret but you really haven’t qualified as a serial killer or anything. Once you are over her (are you?) you can work on forgiving yourself.
Greg
poster:Greg A.
thread:19169
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20020223/msgs/19234.html