Posted by Lini on March 4, 2002, at 10:55:36
In reply to Re: How depression starts, posted by Dave1 on March 4, 2002, at 9:44:53
thanks for asking the question. . . i would have to say that it starts for me when i lose control over something and it becomes obvious to me that no amount of effort on my part is going to change something, if i can't figure something out with logic or if i get scared, i can't do anything helpful for myself.
the first identifiable depression was when i returned from living abroad and had to readjust to America kinda suddenly, intertwined with my boyfriend breaking up with me, and childhood issues surfacing. full blown break down.
relationship dynamics are the hardest thing for me to deal with, and looking back, there have been several depressions around relationship dissapointments, probably starting when i was ten or eleven years old.
i know what you mean about the obsessions. it's like i am standing on one side of a door and i simply have to know what is in the room behind the door, even though i can tell that knowing it isn't going to change anything. in fact is probably something i know already. and then, the door gets opened, and nothing has changed, and being in the room makes me want to die. i don't know how else to explain it. the phone gets turned off, i call in sick for days and the Merlot starts getting poured at odd hours. i haven't hit a low like the one a year and a half ago, because of the meds without a doubt.
poster:Lini
thread:19060
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20020223/msgs/19219.html