Posted by Dinah Seeks Support on March 13, 2014, at 7:18:42
In reply to Re: He's not dying, posted by Dr. Bob on March 11, 2014, at 9:56:32
> I'm reminded of when I went AWOL here. Maybe even more disturbing than hearing from an impersonal note was not hearing anything.
>
> BobYou know, while I appreciate your concern, I resent your bringing Babble Administration into my current crisis. It just reminds me of some of the last work my therapist and I did together.
He said that it would be one thing if you had set up a website where sh*t being thrown at one was considered a good healthy road to growth. But that you didn't do that. You provided a place where incivility was not tolerated, and where we could feel safe. You let us grow to be involved in that place, and then you took it away from us. You unilaterally decided that the best thing is for people to learn to be tolerant of sh*t being thrown at them, and that compassion should be the response to sh*t throwers, while their victims were told, more or less, to suck it up. You were once intolerant, not of uncivil people, but of incivility. But you are now equally intolerant, not of sensitive people, but of the inability to handle sh*t being thrown at them or seeing sh*t thrown at others. You provided a place for us, then you yanked it out from under us. He didn't think this was a healthy place for me to be either from the point of a board philosophy or in terms of consistency and stability.
I was afraid to return, needlessly thus far, because I just can't handle any sh*t right now.
Whatever my therapist may have done, he at least never returned from vacation thinking that what I really needed as a therapist was Dr. Phil, and acting accordingly on a unilateral basis. It'd be fine if he were Dr. Phil to begin with. But it would not be fine if he decided midcourse to change his approach so radically.
I'm actually hoping that there's more involved here than his taking care of himself. Therapists have a greater responsibility to those who rely on them than that. Hell, *I* have a greater responsibility to others than that. It would be fine if he couldn't deal with interacting with me right now. But it's not fine if he has the oxygen to write an impersonal email, to record a voice message, but doesn't bother to write a couple of sentences to someone he has known for twenty years, someone he knows does (and that he has allowed to) see him as a parent.
I hope there's more to it than that. He recognizes, at least when not under pressure, the responsibility a therapist has to a client. And that a board administrator, if you wish to bring yourself into this, has to a board.
poster:Dinah Seeks Support
thread:1062006
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20140310/msgs/1062390.html