Posted by Dinah on March 27, 2011, at 15:08:39
In reply to Re: I withdraw my previous post » Dinah, posted by Tabitha on March 27, 2011, at 14:21:28
He can definitely be very soothing. I think that's likely the hook that kept me going back. But it was his help in teaching me how to regulate my own emotions, and even more than that, it's the way he very subtly changed my way of thinking about things that will prove helpful without him.
> Now I generally come out of the sessions more upset than when I went in. Having that space to ramble on, and being drawn out about it and asked to investigate it further seems to be intensifying my fear and anger and confusion, and even creating new fear and anger and confusion.
I *completely* understand that. Although perhaps I have a pretty good idea what is being done differently now. :) I mostly blame him for that, although I recognize that it's an endless cycle of my withdrawing and (ok I admit it) my being critical of him and him withdrawing and being detached, which leaves both of us thinking that there isn't much left. But if he hadn't helped me over the years, I'd have probably pathetically begged to stay on at any cost and on any terms. As I have in the past. I've changed. And that change will help me not accept less a less than acceptable experience.
It sounds as if you should also hold yourself more valuable than that. Never mind your money. *You* are worth more. If therapy upsets you more than it helps you, and not because you are exploring deeper levels or anything like that, maybe it's time to see if you are ready to demand more. Even if the "more" to your life is "less" of therapy.
Sunk cost theory says it doesn't matter if you spend $1 or $100,000 on therapy up to this point. That money is gone. Will your next session be worth the fee? Is the value you get greater than the emotional and financial cost? If not, then maybe it's time to think about whether your attachment to her is enough to keep you with her.
There's only an answer that's right for you.
What would you spend the saved income on? I've gotten a fancy new blood glucose monitor. Whoopeee!
poster:Dinah
thread:980953
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20110324/msgs/981284.html