Posted by Tabitha on March 24, 2011, at 23:54:39
In reply to Re: I withdraw my previous post » Tabitha, posted by Dinah on March 24, 2011, at 7:58:01
Hi Dinah, I hope this doesn't seem argumentative, but I'm going to reply in more details...
> I have two immediate impressions.
>
> The first is that you might be in a similar state of therapy to where I am, where what's been helpful in the past might be ceasing to be helpful because that work is done and incorporated.I'd like to be able to think that, but I can't really identify any work that was done and incorporated. I can't even speak the language any more. What 'work' was done?
> To some extent, you seem to be saying that growth comes from just doing life rather than thinking about it. But I think the ability to just do life isn't there for all people at all times of their lives. When it isn't possible to put feelings of distress aside and do what needs to be done. Yes, certainly that is ideal. But in general people seek out therapy because their life isn't working when it comes to doing what needs to be done.
Oh for sure, that's exactly why I sought therapy. I believed it had the power to change me. But believing didn't make it so.
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> The second is that a lot of what you wrote describes your therapist's method of doing therapy, and her thoughts on therapy. Which is perfectly reasonable given your long therapeutic relationship. But a lot of what you describe as no longer believing are things my therapist probably never believed and never said to me. You are thinking that your therapist's approach to therapy is "the" approach to therapy, when really there are a good number of therapists who would say to you just what you are saying.No doubt I'm focused on my particular experience, but I don't think she was such a maverick that she was making her own individual brand up. I've known many people in therapy and recovery movement, known several therapists personally, and I got a similar gist. Look inward, probe around, come up with stories to explain yourself. Figure yourself out. Ugh!
> I was that way with Lotus 1-2-3. I clung to it long after it quit production, and long after it ceased to be cutting edge, because I was used to the look and the feel of the program.I can't look back and identify many useful tools. There were some, but mostly she was trying to teach me to use techniques that never fit me. I kept trying and trying, and thinking they'd start to fit. They didn't.
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> Of course this may reflect one of my therapist's pet therapeutic points. He's not as big on feelings as your therapist seems to be. But he is big on balance and avoiding extremes. So that he'd probably point out that therapy is neither good nor bad entirely. Therapy is sometimes good and sometimes bad, and sometimes neither.I'm not really saying it's bad. I'm saying it's just evaporated for me. It was a system of belief that created hope for the future, like religion. Hope that it was leading to some big reward. No doubt it filled a void. No doubt it boosted my ego to think I was doing something so brave and important. But it kinda went 'poof' when I tried to really look at it logically and evalute how it was going.
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> So maybe instead of thinking that you wasted $200-300k with your therapist, you could think that you wasted $100k or $50k or $150k.That one cheers me up!
poster:Tabitha
thread:980953
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20110324/msgs/981081.html