Posted by Racer on February 11, 2006, at 1:16:28
In reply to Re: Terminally self-conscious? » Racer, posted by fairywings on February 10, 2006, at 22:04:03
> Hi Racer,
>
> Has it always been that way, or just recently, or was it always there but now you're doing it more now than you used to do it?That are good questions. The answer, though, is that this is new. This only started after the idiots at that agency, with their, "you have to accept that you have a personality disorder. After all, everyone has a personality." Mind you, they dismissed me as hopelessly misguided when I pointed out that, at 40, it would be pathological if I *didn't* have a personality, and having a personality was *not* synonymous with having a personality *disorder.* (And I never did ask which personality disorders they had, because that would have been more "proof" to them. Also why I did my best to rein in my sarcasm.)
Since then, I've had the personality disorder suggestion made, and this new pdoc was telling me that she thinks that, since I have depression and anxiety, I'm probably bipolar. It's a sore spot that keeps getting bumped, you know?
(Tangent: that bipolar thing wouldn't bother me if it led to a medication combo that was actually effective for me. That's an improvement for me. And it's mostly true, I just realized that yes, I am stressing about that, too. {sigh} Anyway, I can't take mood stabilizers or anything now anyway, because of wanting to become pregnant.)
>Are you sleeping? Is it keeping you awake? Does it bother you more bec. you don't think other ppl think this way? Or does it bother you that you're in your head too much? If you put on headphones does it help? With all you've been through maybe the anxiety is working overtime and your body/mind can't deal with all of it? I don't know.
I haven't been sleeping all that well lately. In fact, I've had an aversion to going to bed lately, which does happen when I'm on the edge of a depressive crash. It goes along with a huge overflow of anxiety, so I think that's probably what this is. I think y'all are right, who've said it here. Thank you.
And thank you for reading all this and responding. My keyboard is acting up and driving me nuts now, so I will end here before I have one of those moments where I'll worry that my frustration is a sign of Something Dire...
poster:Racer
thread:608459
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20060131/msgs/608552.html