Posted by B2chica on June 27, 2005, at 12:12:57
In reply to Re: tootriggered to write » B2chica, posted by happyflower on June 27, 2005, at 10:07:16
i struggled for years with it, when i was older i tried to lose contact with her. i purposefully pushed her away because of that 'incident' and only saw her periodically. two years ago february she committed suicide. now i live with the regret that i DID push her away. i wish to God that i had sought therapy earlier, maybe i could have contacted her and made amends. she was my Best friend in highschool till she dropped out. she was diagnosed with bipolar when she was 19.
i can't help but think i deserved what happened...karma.
i may have mentioned this before but i have to say again...when i was 11 (i think i can say this now) i had being SA by two people only slightly older than me for a few years, finally their attention turned to a neighbor girl...during one incident i ran out...i left her alone with them...i'm sure they molested or raped her (i'm pretty sure because of what they were doing to me)...i blame myself, but feel karma cuz i was lead into a situation when i was barely 16 and it happened to me, this makes a struggle to place blame on anyone but myself.
i just wish i could deal with all this better.
thank you for caring HF, and i too think we could beat the odds and be friends. you're really great.
thank you for the support.
b2c.> > (((((((B2)))))))) This was a horrible thing to have happen. That was no friend, that was so cruel. I don't know what to say, I am stumped, I just feel really bad that someone would do this to you. It brings tears to my eyes.
poster:B2chica
thread:518024
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20050622/msgs/519862.html