Posted by Karen_kay on December 23, 2003, at 1:20:21
In reply to Re: crappy comment...crappy observations...Dinah, posted by pegasus on December 22, 2003, at 12:26:17
He says it makes him feel incompetent sometimes, and while I feel a little bad about that . . . I don't feel TOO BAD. Sometimes he does screw up, and I think over time it has helped our relationship to point out the things he's done that annoyed me.
<<<He says it makes him feel incompetent when you write out your frustrations? Weird! Everyone gets frustrated during therapy and with their therapist. It doesn't mean that the therapist is incompetent. Strange that he feels that way. Next time he says that, put your chin on your hand and say, "Why do you feel that way?"
Of course, sometimes he gets defensive and doesn't see things the same way as me, which is really frustrating.<<<YES!!!! Do we see the same therapist? Oh, of course not, mine doesn't have a white board. If he ever pulled one out, I'd throw it at him. What is the deal with the white board anyway? It seems odd. I'd take it as an insult, like I was in a classroom. Condesending in a way. Do you see it that way? But, my therapist will say something and I am positive I know exactly what he means. Later, the following session, I'll question him about it and he'll become defensive. Oh, because he's the therapist obviously I'M the one who's confused. Everything that I remember from the conversation is from SELECTIVE memory, and I've put my own spin on things. And since I OBVIOUSLY have a faulty thought process, I'm wrong and he's right. END OF CONVERSATION. Let's move on. [HMMM... If you can't tell, I'm upset with him about something. Maybe the fact that he didn't tell me he was taking 2 weeks off, and he pressed me during the session.....Stupid therapist...]
But overall, I think it helps me to be able to point out his foibles. Sort of equalizes things, and keeps him on his toes. Does that make me hostile too? Probably.Probably not. It is possible that he isn't always perfect. And it is also possible that he doesn't get everything exactly right on the first try. My therapist is usually very open to criticism, especially during the session. Now, if it is later (like the next week) then we have problems. But, since he is often wrong :) I tend to prefer to think that I am right and he is wrong. It doesn't mean you are hostile because you point things out to him. I just sometimes wonder what they are thinking....
poster:Karen_kay
thread:291010
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20031221/msgs/292639.html