Posted by Lou Pilder on November 4, 2015, at 19:25:22
In reply to manic suicidal ideation, please ideas, posted by b2chica on November 3, 2015, at 22:44:48
> i've been on my typical roll of lack of sleep since beginning of october. last couple weeks i am at the stage of not needing the sleep. Now, not only do i not need sleep but am agitated in evenings. Tonight is really rough. i want to just gobble up some pills to knock the sh&* out of me. i'm agitated, but feel good!! but yet i have images and STRONG desires to rip the sh#@ out of myself, of blow my head off. sorry for the strong language but how i'm feeling. i don't feel in danger now as i'm older and have become stronger when i am at home (have kids).
> the odd part is i'm completely cognizant of what is going on. i know this is part of my disorder. i KNOW alcohol doesn't help, but i REALLY needed a couple beers tonight!!
> Now kids asleep, family inside. i'm outside on laptop. and trying to write, but all i can think of are very angry violent images of me harming myself.... severe harm...
> back to the awareness. i know logically i will not act on these images... yet i can't seem to either stop them, or let them just pass. because when they come i say i KNOW i won't act, 'but i want to..." whispered silently in the back of my brain...
>
> besides gobbling up too much xanax and hydrocodone... any suggestions/????????????????????????????????
>
> i HATE BEING FU&&*&NG 'Mixed States!!!
> -
> btw... i've missed everyone.
> its been a while, but have had so much happen... i'm still dealing with a little left over PTSD from my last job's departure. but better.
>
> -B2chica
>
> B2,
You wrote,[...blow my head off...any suggestions...].
The road that you describe here that you are on can lead to destruction. Be it the drugs that kill you or by your own hand. If anyone suggests to you to take more drugs, how could that direct you to a different road that leads to life?
You see, it has been revealed to me that your mind has been opened to forces that could compel you to kill yourself. And, the forces are going unopposed by God-life. And as long as those forces are unopposed, they could cause you to have strong desires to want to kill yourself.
You can read it in the morning papers, hear it on the radio, people killing on campuses, people murdering in picture shows. The one thing that is mostly common, is that they had a psychiatrist give them a pill, we need a whole lot more of God-life, and a lot less drugs that kill.
Lou
poster:Lou Pilder
thread:1083869
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/20150929/msgs/1083876.html