Posted by ChicagoKat on September 28, 2012, at 10:20:39
In reply to Re: I'm in trouble, posted by jono_in_adelaide on September 27, 2012, at 21:15:02
> The only thing that stopped me was my mother, she had suffered the same stuff i had (depression, anxiety, panic attacks) as well as 10 years when she slipped into alcoholism, plus a divorce and raising us kids alone.... she hadnt had an easy life, and i decided that I couldnt burden her with her child committing suicide.
Jono, you are truly a good person. To keep living with that incrdible pain which most of us here I think understand (it's not the "oh I'm depressed I'll go to the doc and he will give me prozac and I feel better kind of pain)...to keep enduring that day after day so that you don't break your mother's heart after she went through the same thing and raised you while she felt the same pain. That's not just love, it's honour too, and you should be very proud of yourslf.
And do me a favor: get rid of the amitryptiline. That would be an absolutely horrible way to die. Instead keep a fifth of vodka plus a big bottle of some kind of benzo around. That would be a much gentler way to go. Better yet, get rid of the amitryptiline and just keep the meds you use day to day around :) I'm just kidding about that last one. I know you need to keep your coping mechanism around. We all have strange coping mechanisms. Like me, if you haven't heard I pick at sores on my scalp. Maybe you should learn to do that and it would be a much safer, if somewhat weirder coping mech. Oh, and before I suggest you keep a fifth of vodka around, you aren't a big drinker are you? If so don't take my advice. I'm afraid you might get drunk some night and follow through. And it would really break my heart if that happened. As always, I am hoping from the bottom of my heart that you feel better and find a solution for you. There's got to be one out there! Take care of yourself, and asl usual sorry for the long post lol
Kat
poster:ChicagoKat
thread:1026549
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/20120922/msgs/1026908.html