Posted by Dinah on January 19, 2012, at 9:49:38
In reply to sometimes you have to solve bad things, posted by rjlockhart04-08 on January 18, 2012, at 15:14:38
I don't believe that my mood is my choice.
Where I do have some choice is my actions. I really do think that those who let life happen to them, who are passive in their lives, are not as happy as those who are active in directing their lives.
I read something long ago that didn't apply to me personally in the context it was written, but influenced my thinking quite a bit. Someone was bluntly told that Prince Charming was not going to come knocking on their door. That that was a myth. That if they wanted to find a partner, they needed to get out of their house and participate in the world.
Now I think of that frequently. "Prince Charming is not going to come knocking at your door." Unpleasant reality, perhaps. But reality.
You sometimes ask for people to help you, and people do try to help you as best they can. But if you wait for people to rescue you, you're going to end up being stuck where you are. Superman isn't going to come knocking at your door. It's sad, and it's ok to grieve over that.
I think you're right to think that sometimes you have to solve things yourself. In essential ways we're all alone in this world, although hopefully we'll find companionship and support in that alone-ness.
In my opinion, emotions happen. Calls for me to start my day with gratitude tend to make me feel ungrateful indeed. If my mood is cr*ppy then it's cr*ppy.
But my actions are different. That's where I have the power, and that's where I can plan ahead and act to achieve my goals. I can ask others for input on those plans. But then I have to be active and implement then. No one can do that for me. Passivity has its positive points. It can feel less scary than being active. It can protect one from failure. But it also generally prevents success.
poster:Dinah
thread:1007670
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/20120108/msgs/1007756.html