Posted by medlib on June 4, 2000, at 9:51:58
In reply to Feeling Strange---Not good, but not bad, posted by Abby on June 4, 2000, at 0:10:11
Abby--
What you described sounds very confusing and distressing. Would you mind reiterating your med hx for those of us with impaired short-term mems? It would be helpful to know what you're taking for what, how much, and when--also any co-occuring relevant conditions. Re your symptoms (sxs):
--Headache--lo-grade, unremitting, bilateral(?) Affected by caffeine? Description, location in head? Worse w. exercise or positional changes?
--Emotional lability--unconnected to external events; any reactions in addition to the spontaneous stabs of sadness?
--Partial (?) loss of oculomotor control (O.D.--right eye). Other vision changes? Pupil size normal to light conditions and reactive?
--Impaired cognitive concentration. (Difficulty assembling the "troops," trouble keeping them on task or both?)
--Persistent lightheadedness. Always present? Worse with movement or exertion? Present when lying down?
--Exercise/exertion intolerance. Exacerbation of headache? Of lightheadedness? Accompanied by significant increase in pulse rate or fatigue?
It might be helpful to know your basal body temp and pulse rate (taken before arising, drinking or eating anything in the morning). A BP would be nice, too; most pharmacies have machines. Has your sleep changed at all?
Abby, this doesn't sound like a type of slide into depression that I'm familiar with; has anything similar to this happened to you before? Your sxs seem related to alterations in cerebral blood flow, but what is triggering those changes isn't clear. If you're not too busy/frazzled to answer this post, I'd take print-outs of your original post and your answer to this one with you to the pdoc. That might be easier for you and quicker for him. When do you see him next? I'm curious about what kind of help he was offering.
Hope that this episode proves to be just a blip on the course of your continuing improvement!
Well wishes---medlib
> I can't tell whether I'm spiralling into a depression or what. On Thursday, I had an appointment with my psychiatrist at 12:30. Only I was wrong, it was at 12:00. If I'd been on the ball, I would have realized/remembered that she doesn't schedule hour-long appointments on the half-hour. There were a couple of things I had on mymind to discuss---how to be authentic, without being unnecessarily vulnerable, but I was completely scattered. My psychiatrist remarked on how I was coming from all different directions and asked whether I needed help.
>
> I've had some headaches since Monday, low-grade but unremitting. Acetominophen/paracetomol didn't help enough. Sometimes drinking diet coke gave me enough of a jolt to get my head clear.
>
> I've been feeling somewhat light-headed, or maybe heavy-headed, acutely aware of my head anyway. Exertion goes to my head, and I have to sit down if I don't want to feel whoosy. In the garden, I've mostly been doing stuff where I can sit down. Exercise is supposed to help ward off depression, but when I can feel the blood, or lack thereof--I don't know which--in my brain, it makes it difficult. I suppose that I may be experiencing the classic concentration problems. I might score pretty high on short-term cognitive tests, but sustained stuff would be different. I think it would be difficult to write an essay or take an exam--even if I knew all the answers. Bringing them all together would be really hard. I could manage a mediocre paper, but not one I would like.
>
> I feel sometimes like I want to cry, but my 'mood' is fairly bright. I'm glad that the sun is shining etc. Sometimes, the beauty in the world overwhelms me with its intensity, and I feel on the brink of tears, but I can be focused and motivated in that state, and I'm not now; I feel removed. I could be starting to feel low, but no cognitive techniques will work, because my thoughts aren't making me depressed. It's not being able to function well that is upsetting me. Now while I write this I can't stop thinking about my head. It's not totally constant yet. Oh, I don't know.
>
> I've also noticed that my eyes start to go. I had a problem with strabismus (where one eye turns out). I had to do vision therapy to control it and to teach my eyes to work together. Right now I feel like my right eye (the one that turned out) is shutting off. I have another appointment with my shrink, but I don't know what to say. Help please? Can I elaborate? It might help me explain it to my doctor.
>
> Thanks,
> Abby
poster:medlib
thread:35941
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/20000603/msgs/35970.html