Posted by Abby on June 4, 2000, at 14:15:03
In reply to Re: Feeling Strange » Abby, posted by medlib on June 4, 2000, at 9:51:58
> Abby--
I'm feeling somewhat better now, though not quite up to speed, but I think I can manage some questions.
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> What you described sounds very confusing and distressing. Would you mind reiterating your med hx for those of us with impaired short-term mems? It would be helpful to know what you're taking for what, how much, and when--also any co-occuring relevant conditions. Re your symptoms (sxs):
>
By DSM, I've only ever been diagnosed with major depression, but I think I'm bipolar III. Current drugs--150mg Zoloft, 300mg of lithium AM and PM, 250 mcg risperidone at bed. I've had symptoms somewhat similar when I was on 50 to 100mg of Zoloft only (and maybe even before that). So, I don't think it's medication induced exactly.> --Headache--lo-grade, unremitting, bilateral(?) Affected by caffeine? Description, location in head? Worse w. exercise or positional changes?
lying down it doesn't feel so bad. Funny though I was watching a movie last night and at my computer. I decided to get off the computer and just lie down to watch it, but then I was distracted by other thoughts. A couple of days ago I was getting temple head aches. The other feeling is at the front of my forehead and goes to the center of my head like the point of an oval-shaped cone. Also, there's a feeling at the base of my skull at the top of my neck. Sometimes it's mostly my forehead, sometimes the back of my head, and other times very mild--but still disturbing---in both.
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--Emotional lability--unconnected to external events; any reactions in addition to the spontaneous stabs of sadness?yes and no.
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> --Partial (?) loss of oculomotor control (O.D.--right eye). Other vision changes? Pupil size normal to light conditions and reactive?My pupil size is generally a bit larger than most. Very bright sunlight is difficult, and dark shade without sun exposure first depresses me. I don't know if you've read Peter Whybrow's book "A Mood Apart", but he has a chapter called the 'Legacy of the Lizard' where he talks about the limbic alliance being an early evolutionary stage. Working in a study he saw lizards sunning themselves to get their temperature up. Sometimes I feel like a lizard.
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> --Impaired cognitive concentration. (Difficulty assembling the "troops," trouble keeping them on task or both?)Assembling.
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> --Persistent lightheadedness. Always present? Worse with movement or exertion? Present when lying down?Less so when lying down.
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> --Exercise/exertion intolerance. Exacerbation of headache? Of lightheadedness? Accompanied by significant increase in pulse rate or fatigue? Often tired.
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> It might be helpful to know your basal body temp and pulse rate (taken before arising, drinking or eating anything in the morning). A BP would be nice, too; most pharmacies have machines. Has your sleep changed at all? Sleep, I've been staying up somewhat later, feel a bit better at night, also sleeping late. I'm not organized enough to do basal body temperature. Mine is generally fairly low. 97.2-97.6. Blood pressure. I've got one. 110/70 or 105/65. As usual, the left arm is stronger than the right. These things are constant. Makes me think that I might be hypothyroid, but my tests have never been on the extremes
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> Abby, this doesn't sound like a type of slide into depression that I'm familiar with; has anything similar to this happened to you before? Your sxs seem related to alterations in cerebral blood flow, but what is triggering those changes isn't clear. If you're not too busy/frazzled to answer this post, I'd take print-outs of your original post and your answer to this one with you to the pdoc. That might be easier for you and quicker for him. When do you see him next? I'm curious about what kind of help he was offering. I see her in two weeks. I'm not sure about the help either. I guess that's it for now
>Doctors, especially young ones, have never taken this seriously. Once they know you've been treated for depression, they ascribe everything to that. Also, I think it's somewhat weather related as its worse in high heat and humidity. I feel, overall, most like myself in May.
> Hope that this episode proves to be just a blip on the course of your continuing improvement!
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> Well wishes---medlib
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> > I can't tell whether I'm spiralling into a depression or what. On Thursday, I had an appointment with my psychiatrist at 12:30. Only I was wrong, it was at 12:00. If I'd been on the ball, I would have realized/remembered that she doesn't schedule hour-long appointments on the half-hour. There were a couple of things I had on mymind to discuss---how to be authentic, without being unnecessarily vulnerable, but I was completely scattered. My psychiatrist remarked on how I was coming from all different directions and asked whether I needed help.
> >
> > I've had some headaches since Monday, low-grade but unremitting. Acetominophen/paracetomol didn't help enough. Sometimes drinking diet coke gave me enough of a jolt to get my head clear.
> >
> > I've been feeling somewhat light-headed, or maybe heavy-headed, acutely aware of my head anyway. Exertion goes to my head, and I have to sit down if I don't want to feel whoosy. In the garden, I've mostly been doing stuff where I can sit down. Exercise is supposed to help ward off depression, but when I can feel the blood, or lack thereof--I don't know which--in my brain, it makes it difficult. I suppose that I may be experiencing the classic concentration problems. I might score pretty high on short-term cognitive tests, but sustained stuff would be different. I think it would be difficult to write an essay or take an exam--even if I knew all the answers. Bringing them all together would be really hard. I could manage a mediocre paper, but not one I would like.
> >
> > I feel sometimes like I want to cry, but my 'mood' is fairly bright. I'm glad that the sun is shining etc. Sometimes, the beauty in the world overwhelms me with its intensity, and I feel on the brink of tears, but I can be focused and motivated in that state, and I'm not now; I feel removed. I could be starting to feel low, but no cognitive techniques will work, because my thoughts aren't making me depressed. It's not being able to function well that is upsetting me. Now while I write this I can't stop thinking about my head. It's not totally constant yet. Oh, I don't know.
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> > I've also noticed that my eyes start to go. I had a problem with strabismus (where one eye turns out). I had to do vision therapy to control it and to teach my eyes to work together. Right now I feel like my right eye (the one that turned out) is shutting off. I have another appointment with my shrink, but I don't know what to say. Help please? Can I elaborate? It might help me explain it to my doctor.
> >
> > Thanks,
> > Abby
poster:Abby
thread:35941
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/20000603/msgs/35995.html