![[dr. bob]](/dr-bob-sm.gif)
Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
[email protected]Shown: posts 1 to 19 of 19. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by alexandra_k on April 22, 2014, at 4:27:06
In reply to Re: going ahead (nm), posted by Dr. Bob on April 2, 2010, at 14:59:28
test
Posted by alexandra_k on April 22, 2014, at 20:16:02
In reply to Re: going ahead, posted by alexandra_k on April 22, 2014, at 4:27:06
sigh.
well. that's that, then.
i really need for classes to start. starting to go a bit nutty without them.
my one friend up here... has turned out to be not such a good person for me to spend very much time with. for me to... trust in. as often turns out to be the case with me and male friends. i need to be in a Very Good Place Indeed in order to hold the both of us together...
feeling kinda lonely. for 'people like me' contact. i suppose that, yes, i do have some kind of desire to commune with like-minded individuals. i've been having a hard time getting to things. not entirely sure why (maybe due to some kind of ambivalence?) my internal schedules seem to naturally run inversely to everything else. natural time for me to sleep is when everyone else is awake. natural time for me to gym is while others are in class. and so on... i'm always... needing to choose between getting to that seminar (or whatever) and something else important to me... what the f*ck kind of plight is that? socialising is supposed to require... effort. does for everyone... i forget that... priorities...
i'd have made one or two close friends here already if i were still a smoker. because i'd be off outside for a smoke break every 50 minutes or so... out there with my coffee in the mornings... i'd get to chatting with other smokers... or with people just arriving back / just waiting for a ride or whatever in the mornings. without the smoking i have no reason to mill about outside. so i don't. so i don't meet people, really. just an awkward elevator ride where i sometimes manage to practice my small talk. nothing... continuing.
looks like 3 classes next semester. which is more 'normal'. a light full time workload. will triple my chances of meeting like minded individuals. sigh. i do miss that. there should be other mature students doing pre-med. surely. c'mon this country... surely... reading about 'how to pull an A- in org chem' in the NY times... some news clip on some dude in his 40's matching to plastics someplace in california... c'mon this country... or... maybe not. given how they advised me given my lack of science / math background. maybe not. maybe there simply aren't any.
i joined back to that math website. going to do a bit more of a focused run through... need to get from wherever i am now to calculus... so focus on the things that seem important for that... and geometry... i think that stuff is important, too... and... uh... dare i say... fun. i guess what i mean to say is that the stuff on percentages and fractions and conversions is really hard work. sends me into a panic... i think it is because i don't know how to do things the way they want me to do them. i just... stare a bit and, uh, figure it out. but they set it up like a fraction... and then add stuff to it... then cross out redundancies... and i don't really see what's going on with that at all. and i can do 90% of them my way... just those last few that look... odd... and look at them and they don't seem to make sense... and they... upset things for me... and i don't quite know what is to be done. except that at some point... i'll sit down and work through how they are trying to show me properly... like with the long division... then i'll back things up and be slower for a while... and things will right themself in the end...
at least the stuff we are doing now for chemistry... with the balancing and stuff... the numbers are simple. i can play with them a little and doesn't take much for me to simply see. they aren't trying to trick us with the math. it isn't like... it is supposed to be a test of our math. haven't needed to go above about 6 for the, uh, coefficients on the chemical formulas...
practice practice practice. getting better i am. need to remember when things look desperate / hopeless that many many many many many people far far dumber than me with attention spans of goldfish manage to graduate high school math. so. there must be hope for me. sorry. i feel bad for that thought. but i also... feel that it is the truth. so.
i really need for classes to start back... i really need to get out today... for a walk... i don't suppose i will... things feel... hopeless. note to self: things don't always feel this way. things will feel better soon. i've started up with the early morning wakings / ruminations / bawling my eyes out... i almost forgot i did that... that that was a huge part of my life for so many years. haven't been there since i moved across the bridge... things are (generally speaking) so very much better for me these days.
i got an email about a phd scholarship in phil. some uni in aussie. they are advertising for phd students to work on particular projects now. how science has done things for the longest time. philosophy never did that before. they, uh, well, you just applied... to work on whatever... and picked a particular person, of course. and they took the smartest students they could get, i suppose (or those with the best-est writing samples, i suppose). and then... a whole heap never finish. i mean, really. more than half? not entirely sure... a whole heap. and the better the uni... the less likely you are to finish, even. and the profession has been a bit embarrassed about that, i think... about how the smartest are... giving it all up to go open a fish shop in canada, or whatever... anyway... one of my friends back in aussie... after working on something that nobody cared about (after his main advisor moved universities and didn't take him with) who... dropped out after about 10 years... he got... just this year... a scholarship to start all over again. with the supervisor he ended up with before, even. the difference maker on his... uh... state of unproductivity... is (i'm supposing) thought to be that before nobody gave a sh*t about his work. but now: he's applied to work on a particular project. so... he'll have a bunch of readings to be getting on with etc already. not sure if the funding is the same source as before... but funding he got. to start over.
anyway... i got an email about a phd scholarship in phil. $25,000 tax free aussie dollars with all the student perks of being a grad student (cheap buses, cheap student accommodation options) etc etc etc... to work on a government funded project on false memory and sexual abuse. a natural extension of ... stuff... huh. anyway... not entirely sure that funding is available to me... except that... it seems to be the case that... there is something going on along the lines of... instead of hiring a post-doc... who are more expensive... why not take on a phd student? so... research funding money (different source) might be available to do phd work after all... uh... huh... i cried and i cried and i cried...
and then i wondered 'what the hell are you crying about? it (possibly) opens up OPTIONS'. options to return.. if i really do suck at science. or if i find science is not for me. or if i want to take a couple years out at some point and do a phd... in philosophy... all is not lost. necessarily. the crying is physiological, i think. something something about baselevel neural firing and negative affect... i'm sleeping far too many hours... feeling awful lethargic... so my bodies started up this awful quality of sleep thing... need class.. the focal point... my compass...
Posted by alexandra_k on April 23, 2014, at 22:44:05
In reply to Re: going ahead, posted by alexandra_k on April 22, 2014, at 20:16:02
So I did get to walk yesterday. Walked a Trail I've Never Walked Before, even, which is a Big Event for me. Since I tend to get stuck in... Same old, same old. The mushies are out. Saw one that might have been one... Bit too conspicuous to take a look... But I spy people scratchings... And other varieties are out. So... Out they are. Then it's just a matter of getting up with the birds, really. Seeing how many kids there are out biking the trails at 6am... I'm... Uh... Not entirely sure I can be bothered. But in a way... I feel I should... Can dry them out. Save them for a rainy day. Or something.
I didn't mention it before but I got a big whack of a fine from the library. Messed up an overnight renewal for easter Friday (like, one of the three days of the year they are closed so you can get 2 hour desk reserve books out for a whole day). $180, they reckoned. Because I renewed them within 2 hours of closing but it is supposed to be within 1 hour of closing. I wrote them a hefty email about communal study spaces and tragedy of the commons and a billion copies all being placed on 2 hour desk reserve for classes that aren't even being taught in this f*ck*ng semester... But I didn't swear... Anyway... They reduced the fine... Out of kindness... Or something... Just makes me feel horrible because I'm contientious, typically. Loss of faith in the library. $180 textbooks... 2 of them... I need them, really... And one more I suppose... Maybe a couple more, actually... I have the PDF's... But it's just not the same. Can't explain it. Can't build up a mental picture without running my fingers about the page. I don't know what to say. Feel... Raw.
Top floor of the info commons has actually been a really good study space over the break. Did some more there today. Good. Might go back. It is focused now. I suppose it will get all ruined next week... When all the people come back because class has started... Or maybe the worst offenders will start not coming to class... I don't know...
I'm okay. It's all okay... Everything is wonderful, really. Feeling a bit raw... Wish I did have a clinician I clicked with that I could see... Someone to... Commisserate with me when I'm feeling low. Take some pride in my achievements. Something... Feeling kinda lonely, I guess.
Posted by Poet on April 24, 2014, at 18:01:22
In reply to Re: going ahead, posted by alexandra_k on April 23, 2014, at 22:44:05
Hi Alex,
Ouch, that library fine is steep. Take pride in that you are trying to tackle math. A subject that I am so bad at that I barely passed in high school and in college wrote my own major so I didn't have to take math or science. Took me years of therapy to get that I am intelligent, the math part of my brain doesn't work well. As I just went over for the 4 billionth time in therapy, "sometimes it's okay to go slow."
Keep going ahead,and hopefully the rest of the semester will pass quickly and quietly.
Poet
Posted by alexandra_k on April 24, 2014, at 21:33:22
In reply to Re: going ahead » alexandra_k, posted by Poet on April 24, 2014, at 18:01:22
Hi Poet. Yeah, that library fine freaked me out. They reduced it to $20 for which I feel extremely grateful... Otherwise... I... Uh... Am fairly ashamed to admit that I wouldn't have paid it... Anyway... Paid the fine so... In good standing with them. Which means a lot, actually. Feeling calmer about it. Isn't likely to recur. Etc.
One of my good friends is married to a high school maths teacher. He says... It is mostly that maths is really cumulative with later skills building on / extending from earlier skills. So if you miss a few days of school for sickness or sports or whatever... Or you had teachers who didn't take you through the curriculum as they were supposed to (especially in primary where teachers often seem to get away with avoiding subjects they can't themselves do)... Then later bits don't make sense. So kids often think they are dumb or whatever... But it is more that they don't have the foundation that the other students have. So... Trying harder at a certain level... Will only get you so far... Uh... That's why I've gone back. Started at Kindy... So everything builds on what has gone before...
So... It is probably the case that you just missed some of the crucial bits. And your parents or teachers or whatever decided to work with your strengths... And that is that. My last degree... I avoided math, too. It was easy to start because I was an english major... Had to do logic for philosophy which almost put me off majoring... But I got through it okay... Stats for psychology put me off majoring in psychology (I considered taking an additional year to come out with a double major)...
Anyway... we have to bring our calculators to class now so, uh, we'll see...
Thanks for the well wishes :)
Posted by alexandra_k on April 26, 2014, at 20:14:11
In reply to Re: going ahead » Poet, posted by alexandra_k on April 24, 2014, at 21:33:22
sigh. it is the conversions that are getting me... converting fractions to decimals... there are things that are Handy To Know: like 8 x 125 = 1,000 and something... something about 3,125 and 100,000... I guess I just need to put in the time... And that will help me with figuring out which percentage of which number is most...
number theory is pretty tricky, too. but i feel great when i get them right. prime factorization. uh... so i used to hate it when people did this but, ah. whats it FOR??? i mean wtf!!!
Posted by baseball55 on April 27, 2014, at 19:42:45
In reply to Re: going ahead, posted by alexandra_k on April 26, 2014, at 20:14:11
> sigh. it is the conversions that are getting me... converting fractions to decimals... there are things that are Handy To Know: like 8 x 125 = 1,000 and something... something about 3,125 and 100,000... I guess I just need to put in the time... And that will help me with figuring out which percentage of which number is most...
>
Probably easiest to memorize the numbers 1/2-1/10. 1/2=0.5, 1/3=0.33 and so on.
Posted by alexandra_k on April 27, 2014, at 21:39:15
In reply to Re: going ahead, posted by baseball55 on April 27, 2014, at 19:42:45
> > sigh. it is the conversions that are getting me... converting fractions to decimals... there are things that are Handy To Know: like 8 x 125 = 1,000 and something... something about 3,125 and 100,000... I guess I just need to put in the time... And that will help me with figuring out which percentage of which number is most...
> >
> Probably easiest to memorize the numbers 1/2-1/10. 1/2=0.5, 1/3=0.33 and so on.yes. i have some memorized. but i think maybe what it wants me to memorise is even f*ck*ng more times tables. e.g., 25x4 = 100. so any fraction with 4 on the bottom will go into a decimal to the hundredth place.
e.g., 3/4 = .75
because 4x25=100
and so 3x25=75
so 75/100
so .75i think 125 is a magic number, too. that gets us to the thousandth place something to do with 8...
and there is a magic number to get to the ten-thousandths place...
anyway... i need to look into it... ratios and proportions here i come. sigh.
class started back today YAY! i really was bored... conversions and moles... i'm okay because i prepared well over the break. but i'd be f*ck*ng lost otherwise. she's fairly... uh.. methodical.. uh.. it isn't the most exciting subject matter to be sure.. anyway... will be okay...
lots of equations for me...
Posted by alexandra_k on April 28, 2014, at 16:00:39
In reply to Re: going ahead, posted by baseball55 on April 27, 2014, at 19:42:45
> Probably easiest to memorize the numbers 1/2-1/10. 1/2=0.5, 1/3=0.33 and so on.oh. i see what you mean. then double the numerator or whatever as seems appropriate. that seems so much... simpler. haha. thank you.
Posted by baseball55 on April 28, 2014, at 19:53:01
In reply to Re: going ahead, posted by alexandra_k on April 28, 2014, at 16:00:39
Also 1/8 = 0.125. So 100/8 = 12.5, 1000/8=125 and so on. Once you get the 1/2 to 1/10 decimal equivalents down, the rest are just multiples. Except of course for prime numbers over 10. But most people use calculators for, say, 1/13 or 1/17.
Posted by alexandra_k on April 28, 2014, at 20:38:28
In reply to Re: going ahead, posted by baseball55 on April 28, 2014, at 19:53:01
> Also 1/8 = 0.125. So 100/8 = 12.5, 1000/8=125 and so on. Once you get the 1/2 to 1/10 decimal equivalents down, the rest are just multiples. Except of course for prime numbers over 10. But most people use calculators for, say, 1/13 or 1/17.
wow. thanks so very much. that is really helpful.
learning my rules for adding / subtracting / multiplying / dividing positive and negative numbers today...
variations on M m n... triangles here we come... then crossing out the redundancies to get the units... she's a bit of a sickler for us getting the units right (g vs mol vs g/mol-1)... because she says that's how we demonstrate understanding...
a bit of work to be sure... but seems... manageable.
i'm really not sure... no... i'm really sure that i'm not... going to be ready for functioning in math at the start of semester 2. maybe i'll hold off... focus on conceptual physics (which has math in it even if not calculus) and either animal or plant bio (feeling enthusiastic about plants at the moment)... then i'll have a couple months between the end of the second semester and the start of summer school to really crank through that website... maybe that is a better way to go...
Posted by alexandra_k on April 29, 2014, at 20:43:30
In reply to Re: going ahead, posted by alexandra_k on April 28, 2014, at 20:38:28
so i learned how to do dimensional analysis last night. which sounds really flash but it just unit conversions. like how stochiometric coefficients sounds pretty flash, too, but really it's just the number in front of the chemical formula...
anyway... that's the good news. the bad news is that... everything is really freaking complicated. i'm confuzzled. really, very. molar mass and mass per mole and the number of atoms per molar mass and little m and big M and i'm f*ck*d if i know... and she scribbles a scrawl on one part of the projector and you have to take it down in class or it's gone forever... and the powerpoint is being projected on the other side... and i can't read it because my eyesight is truly awful... and our course notes are... mostly empty space...
no class tomorrow so... i guess i see if i can get caught up.
maths. uh, this is why people don't do physical chemistry, eh? this will be why my physics friend said 'ooooh chemistry, i like that'.
sigh.
Posted by alexandra_k on May 1, 2014, at 4:01:23
In reply to Re: going ahead, posted by alexandra_k on April 29, 2014, at 20:43:30
had a funny (odd) couple days.
i just started to get into a bit of a routine with studying in the actual library from 8-10 and so getting to keep the 2 hour loan book... renewing it before 9am... renewing it within 2 hours... then not needing to return it till just before class at 12... that was sorta seeming workable... but i was also a little... uh... unsettled by the thought of the fines that could rack up if i forgot to renew...
anyway... last night i borrowed it... but it wasn't showing up on my library record when i went to renew it. so, uh, after much deliberation (including the odd nightmare) i've decided to keep it till the end of the semester. since the library has at least 4 copies of it and i've never seen any less than 3 other copies sitting there on the shelf each and every single time i get one copy... it isn't like people are playing tag for them...
i met the first year coordinator for biosci (across the board)... and she was really pleasant and friendly. she reassured me (seemingly quite genuinely) about my not needing to worry about lots of students because you never see all of them at once (because they are split over about 4 classes, i guess) and that i'll have good practice with labs in doing bio next semester and the rooms will be the same... and the course books will probably be the same... but there is a new Campbell's Biology coming out... which I probably will buy... anyway... i think she may have been primed a bit for me (maybe chemistry lady talked to her) because she offered the information that they were going to try and get the powerpoints up before lectures next year... and i didn't raise that at all... so...
the biology building is... really nice. historic. and there are exhibits all over the show... different animal skulls... models of different animal brains... museum feel to it... felt... at home there. in a way i don't quite over in chemistry. chemistry feels... weirdly industrial. trying to extract course outlines out of them is, i don't know, like trying to extract trade secrets or something...
i caught up with a dear friend... i think a great deal of her but we are always a bit awkward together because we are both a bit awkward apart. but she is lovely... always positive and friendly. we did a couple circuits of the parks - which i quite like... and then i was going to go to drinks with the phil grads but... i got this weird panic thing... about whether i was really welcome there or whether they were just putting up with me... and i left. that always was my social anxiety. i haven't felt it for a while... but there it was... sigh. and people have been very gentle and very welcoming and i'm not sure what was up... except i think i was pooped out after catching up with my friend. after the semester break... where i really do go days without talking to anybody. there is an aspect of habituation... it isn't good for me to have too much of a break from things or it is too hard for me to get back... anyway... if i get to the seminar then things are more natural... just turning up and trying to co-ordinate actually going to drinks with people is a bit harder. because i don't know any one in particular well enough to go bug them in particular... and i'm not good at just milling about and striking up conversations... anyway...
the textbook thing is kinda important. for me. i've managed to fill in my manual properly in a way i'm confident about the information being accurate (finally!)... but i don't find it the most straightforward presentation of material... the textbook is good for me - but it goes into more detail than what we need. so need to jump about a bit between the Powerpoints and my course notes and the textbook... Trying to learn HOW to study for it... mostly the struggle is in setting up the equations properly and getting the units right... converting units... scientific notation... almost at the point where i just need to do lots of problems - but not quite there yet. It is really hard going for me... But good practice for physics next semester, I guess. I should have brought the textbook, in hindsight. I think I've learned my lesson on that. Next year... Sigh. Maybe it will be close to $1,000 on that. Damn it.
Posted by baseball55 on May 1, 2014, at 20:12:40
In reply to Re: going ahead, posted by alexandra_k on May 1, 2014, at 4:01:23
Alex. You seem so much more level-headed and full of hope and positive energy in the last few months. I guess moving and starting this new course of study has really worked for you. I don't hear all the anger and frustration that you used to have when you were living in that other place.
But don't shy away from social occasions. I know that feeling - oh, they probably don't really want me there, etc, etc. If they didn't want you, they wouldn't have asked you. People are really much less judgmental than we think. Most people are too busy worrying about their own social anxieties to be worrying about us.
Posted by alexandra_k on May 2, 2014, at 19:36:07
In reply to Re: going ahead, posted by baseball55 on May 1, 2014, at 20:12:40
> Alex. You seem so much more level-headed and full of hope and positive energy in the last few months. I guess moving and starting this new course of study has really worked for you. I don't hear all the anger and frustration that you used to have when you were living in that other place.
Thanks. I guess... That really is true for the most part. I do have brief periods of angst... But I guess they really are just brief periods. Worst case I sort of rage for a couple of days... But it sort of blows over. I am a lot happier, yes. I think... About the happiest I've ever been, actually, which really is saying a lot.
But I still worry about me, sometimes. Worry about this... Frustration tolerance. My frustration tolerance is awful low. I think that gets to be the case when I don't spend much time around people. When I spend more time around them I start to see all the things they put up with in me and it makes me feel much more tolerant of them... Humble... I feel ashamed that I disconnect with that... Way of being / interacting with the world, sometimes. But I do often disconnect with it.
I have been reading more stuff about Autistic Spectrum... There really is a range. Cambridge University (for example) has some really wonderful student resource stuff... A beautiful blend of first and third person... Consumer and provider... Disability and ability and difference...
I worry that I'm... Being coaxed into a stereotype way of being. That this happens to me... Has happened... Borderline... Dissociative Identity... Autistic Spectrum is what is fashionable now so Autistic Spectrum presentation it will be... But it really makes a lot of sense of a lot... But then... So did they... At the time... I'm not entirely sure what to say... I do feel... Authentic. But I do think the categorisation (and self identification) has... Altered me.
I seem to get... Garbled... Uh... That low frustration tolerance thing... Ranty... Somewhat... Excited and a bit incoherant... When I feel overwhelmed. Having a bit of an issue at the moment about this lack of access to powerpoint notes prior to class thing... I've just properly realised that other students have raised this and it has gone through via class representatives... But lecturers are saying 'no - and there is no university policy (aside from disability) to make me'. But some students are getting them early because they are claiming disability. So it isn't like it is any extra work for them to make them available for ALL students. So... Uh... What's the freaking problem? I've only heard weak excuses that don't stand up to the lightest of scrutiny... I simply don't understand...
Anyway... In finding out how to proceed (since I've realised the 'we'll try' is a weak way of blowing me off most probably)... People are saying there are layers of bureaucracy... And good luck with that... Like... They have empathy... But nothing much can be done... And I guess I realise that most students are afraid of their lecturers and don't want to be distinguished as a Pain in the *ss. And most students will back off (take it personally) when the lecturers say they must be stupid or disabled to need the lecture notes in advance... And that most good students are too busy struggling with inefficiently presented material to be able to spend much time fighting with belligerent lecturers to get them to present their information more efficiently...
Anyway... I wrote to the head of schools... A couple of them... About how there needs to be a policy to make them if they can't be appropriately accommodating to students trying to learn by doing the pre-reading that most other universities instruct their students to do... I suspect that really the case is... That lecturers have disengaged from their teaching in the face of open entry and the expectation that merely turning up should get them a degree.
Where do the smart kids go? Overseas... Sigh...
I remember why I quit science at High School... My science teachers really weren't the most intelligent... I remember being fascinated with why I (and some people but not close to half) didn't have hair on the end joint of their finger close to their thumb... There wasn't any show of... Interest in showing me how to find information in the library... Or via any other source... Even in 'maths science extension'... Where somehow or other people let me spend most of the year trying to build a physical model of the impossible triangle (which even I knew was pointless). Sigh.
I can do the equations. Powerpoints and textbook and... There we go. Lectures are a boring waste of time without prereading. Incomprehensible. Pointless. Boring. Waste of time. I'm so f*ck*ng mad.
Posted by alexandra_k on May 2, 2014, at 19:40:56
In reply to Re: going ahead, posted by alexandra_k on May 2, 2014, at 19:36:07
so... the closest i've got to a real reason...
is that they say students won't turn up to class if they give them the full lecture notes in advance.
so... these are the students whom the class is pitched to?
students who are willing and able to read through the full lecture notes (and relevant sections of the textbook) before coming to class... then who come to class (because they know that they will follow along / recall the content / form correct inferences from the content) better that way... are prevented from learning that way. because of the above students.
if they tell students to do reading then most students won't. so now they don't tell students to do reading.
this country seems determined to become... dumber and dumber. i can't / wont learn so... you're not allowed to.
awesome folks. way to... exclude people whom only ever flourished in the tiny portions of the world where excellence was... allowed.
Posted by baseball55 on May 2, 2014, at 20:37:51
In reply to Re: going ahead, posted by alexandra_k on May 2, 2014, at 19:40:56
When I sat in on a biology course a few years ago (never took it in HS or college), I couldn't stand the classes. Just all these powerpoint slides of stuff I needed to memorize but going too fast to take notes or memorize. So I just stopped going to the classes and worked in the library instead going through each chapter in the book on my own. Then I'd study, memorize, take the test and do fine.
Chemistry was different. No powerpoint. Blackboard notes. Much more worthwhile to attend class. But chemistry isn't all rote memorization either. I loved chemistry. I wish I had taken it in college. I loved the labs.
I don't use powerpoint to teach, but then I teach a subject which is much more about current events, arguments back and forth over policy, etc. So I use the blackboard and have students do small group discussions, stuff like that. It makes coming to class more enjoyable for the students. You can't teach biology that way, though. A mitochondria is a mitochondria. No debate, no contrasting points of view. Just memorize it.
Posted by alexandra_k on May 2, 2014, at 22:29:34
In reply to Re: going ahead, posted by baseball55 on May 2, 2014, at 20:37:51
I was thinking that subjects that aren't standardly taught from powerpoint are discussion / essay based. English Literature. Most of Philosophy... Etc... Because it is more that you need to develop an idea or a line of reasoning or something. So you need exposure to people doing that and then practice running your own.
I'm not sure why the maths / physical science people have these weird mystical almost supernatural ideas about learning. Why it is that they don't use known techniques from the psychological sciences... It really is beyond me... I do think... Open entry... Nobody gives a sh*t. I'm not interested in teaching undergrads because... Stuff all of them are actually interested in learning. I thought university was a refuge for intelligent and motivated students... Not a routine matter of course or line of least effort / resistance for... Everyone. We've just got... An extended childhood. Todays undergraduate degree is, what... My parents generations last couple years high school equivalency? Basically... Perhaps more than that... Basically anyone who wants one can get to do a PhD these days... And most supervisors basically write them for them...
Sigh.
I'm feeling really upset / angry / agitated that I really don't like the present person teaching chemistry... And we have her for most of the rest of the semester... And she's doing all the hard for me maths stuff... And it is a waste of time my going to class because I can't follow (she has a thick accent and does weird things with her word order and I can't read some of her letters very well with her handwriting and I don't have glasses to see her scrawl anyway...) And that class was important... Socialising... For me. And I'm mourning. That its gone :( And I'm scared that I'll fail the next test (or only get a B). Had a nightmare last night...
And she still hasn't put up her powerpoint notes from Friday... So I emailed her... And ccd the head of school... And... Uh... I'm afraid that they'll turn on me. LIke that place across the bridge. And Weltec. Because things are looking... Just like them. I'm scared.
Posted by alexandra_k on May 2, 2014, at 22:40:19
In reply to Re: going ahead, posted by alexandra_k on May 2, 2014, at 22:29:34
it is funny... that they are all about 'go to class go to class go to class' because they reckon people do better who go to class...
and they reckon that giving people powerpoints before class will mean less people go to class...
so then people who are motivated (not trying to shirk) don't get to learn as well as they could.
because filling in workbooks with blanks... is a step up from highlighting things... is a step up from just sitting there quietly but blankly... is a step up from being rowdy / actively disrupting others...
people who profit from having already filled in workbooks that they can think *about* don't get access to them.
this is the best university we've got :(
This is the end of the thread.
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