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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
[email protected]Shown: posts 1 to 4 of 4. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by rjlockhart37 on March 31, 2014, at 11:44:24
the other day i was smoking and then i choked threw up everything my meds and couldnt re take them.....sorry to be nasty, but after that i wanted to smash my head in a window befcause it made all them come up and made me miserable the rest of the day.....
its things like that....i just want to just grab my neck and choke myself to death....its so much anger against myself of all the failures i have done....i don't cut or do self harm but it is really tempting to smash my head into a wall....it s not going to do any good really, but i hate myself so much, i want to end my pathethic existance....and no don't be concerned, no suicidal implication, its just that's how much i hate things i do, lock my keys in the car, then trip over and skin my face trying to call, then put it in my pocket and it dialed 911 by itself...and the police tracked the phone the other day, and search me because they hear me in the background.....you see this is so much hate, for everything i destroyed and failed, i sit and curse over again then i do something again, trip and fall again, might as well accidently swallow dianamite powerder and make taht the last mistake ever....
ughhh.....there just so much anger at things and espically myself for creating problems and then randomly do something stupid, lose everything i have, then trip and smash my face while im mad.....thats what happened the other day....
god.....i just want to vent, there's no self pity im doing, i do these things over and over again, never learn, lose, forget, do incredible stupid things.....without knowing it.....
anyways....just a vent.....im fine im off the school
r
Posted by Phil on March 31, 2014, at 16:23:24
In reply to self destuction, posted by rjlockhart37 on March 31, 2014, at 11:44:24
We all go through days like that, mental or not.
it's ok to scream but the worst part of it all is how you talk to yourself. calling yourself everything in the book is just going to let the elevator drop a few more floors.
i deal with the same stuff every now and then. well, often. we have a mental illness and it gets very hard to handle. it's not an excuse. all of the people here share one thing in common. we are still here. we haven't given up. some days that's all we get. and it's quite enough.
Posted by rjlockhart37 on March 31, 2014, at 18:19:52
In reply to Re: self destuction » rjlockhart37, posted by Phil on March 31, 2014, at 16:23:24
it happened this morning and the other day.... and i was at class today thinking about what i wrote....and dreaded it lol....
thanks phil...:) i feel like someone understands me.....
r
Posted by rjlockhart37 on April 1, 2014, at 19:43:47
In reply to Re: self destuction, posted by rjlockhart37 on March 31, 2014, at 18:19:52
matt is not thrilled he wrote his boo hoo story....and the stuff i just wrote, omgod....this is repeat, this happened in the past....
mmmmm let me call Patty: 1800 PATTY CAKE.....ring....ring.....
no ones home....
1800 PATTY BURGER.....ring ring.....
not awnsering her cell....
patty is having having a burger at local resturant....
too bad patty can't speak for me....
to be continued...
This is the end of the thread.
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