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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
[email protected]Shown: posts 1 to 8 of 8. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by Verloren on May 29, 2010, at 5:41:12
Verloren is very angry at herself for wasting the money to fly "home" to visit "family". She feels guilted into coming by her grandmother because she didn't have the heart to say her budget was hurting and that she'd simply rather be in the comforts of her own home.
Verloren really dislikes this city on a normal day. Maybe it's pms or some other cause, but this weekend V is hating every moment.
She has only been in town less than 24 hours so feels there is potential to see improvement?????? But as of 5:17am has been awake for 2 hours since the neighbor's dog continues to bark and bark and bark and bark and it's actually driving V a little crazy.
She'd just go to a hotel, but the budget really can't allow that.
She feels sad for not wanting to be around these people, these relatives. But she doesn't know them nor they her and social niceties only go so far.She's feeling like running away from this. Dealing with her mentally disturbed sister, drunken family, What is that smell?, letcherous cousin, barking dog, terrible crime infested neighborhood, seriously the smell - it's awful, no transportation, no sleep, that smell is unbearable, a headache since she arrived, is it gasoline? Smells like gasoline, friend's mom is ill, smell is nauseating.
Hoping it gets better. Trying to resist calling Ada, her T. Verloren knows she would only find temporary comfort in hearing Ada's voice and advice on the situation. But longs for that gentle comfort, however fleeting, in a time when she is emotionally and physically worn.
Sorry for the third person perspective. Feeling disconnected.
Posted by manic666 on May 29, 2010, at 13:02:20
In reply to Sad, Angry, Bitter, Crying and can't find the Pro, posted by Verloren on May 29, 2010, at 5:41:12
wwwwwwwwwwhoe//i have been on that planet
Posted by Dinah on May 29, 2010, at 14:32:21
In reply to Sad, Angry, Bitter, Crying and can't find the Pro, posted by Verloren on May 29, 2010, at 5:41:12
Sounds awful. Any chance you can go home early?
Next time they ask you can remind them what happened this time.
Posted by obsidian on May 29, 2010, at 22:49:26
In reply to Sad, Angry, Bitter, Crying and can't find the Pro, posted by Verloren on May 29, 2010, at 5:41:12
> Sorry for the third person perspective. Feeling disconnected.
maybe you'd rather not be you right now :(
I know in part about what you mean...the social niceties just don't jibe with reality
Posted by floatingbridge on May 30, 2010, at 15:20:04
In reply to Sad, Angry, Bitter, Crying and can't find the Pro, posted by Verloren on May 29, 2010, at 5:41:12
Jeez, sounds like plenty of reasons not to be there--all very valid and healthy. O.K. so next time, do not go, and forgive yourself for going this time. Are you close to your grandma? Maybe see her alone next time.
Famlily stuff can really s*ck. Nothing like those old family gatherings to get me feeling totally miserable and powerless. Why not call your T? Temporary pleasure/ comfort is healthy.
Posted by Verloren on May 31, 2010, at 6:40:11
In reply to Sad, Angry, Bitter, Crying and can't find the Pro, posted by Verloren on May 29, 2010, at 5:41:12
Well today is my last day here. If I can somehow survive today, I'll be ok.
Was not able to go home earlier because of the additional flight costs. But did manage to spend time with friends which gave me the opportunity to escape the situation for a while.
Next time I will Definitely not go! Lesson learned! My grandmother and I get along well but there are varying annoyances that come between us from time to time. Like where she lives, for example. She stays in a terribly crime-infested portion of town and there were people actually shooting at each other Friday night. That is also why I wished I couldve gotten a hotel room. I do not want to be an innocent bystander who gets hit walking from the car!
I hate that she lives this way in this neighborhood and expects me to visit and stay with her where it is not safe.
I did not call Ada. I really thought I would but something in me wants to show her that I can handle myself in these situations without needing to turn to her. I want her to believe I can function on my own without having to hear her voice to get me through. And I am afraid of being seen as the difficult patient with constant needs.
Thank you all for your supportive words and thoughts. I really need that now.
-Verloren
Posted by Phillipa on May 31, 2010, at 12:59:49
In reply to One more day..., posted by Verloren on May 31, 2010, at 6:40:11
I'm glad you made it and don't I know you from before here? Phillipa
Posted by Verloren on May 31, 2010, at 15:20:08
In reply to Re: One more day... » Verloren, posted by Phillipa on May 31, 2010, at 12:59:49
> I'm glad you made it and don't I know you from before here? Phillipa
Thanks!
And yes, I've been around since last September, maybe a little before then. I don't post as much as I did back then.
-Verloren
This is the end of the thread.
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