![[dr. bob]](/dr-bob-sm.gif)
Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
[email protected]Shown: posts 3 to 27 of 27. Go back in thread:
Posted by Phil on June 1, 2005, at 7:53:38
In reply to New job-scared, scared, scared, posted by sleepygirl on May 31, 2005, at 22:26:05
sleepygirl,
I've been at my job for a while now and still have days of fear and depression.
Once I try to just focus on doing a task one at a time, the fear subsides.
Don't know if this helps but I'm also wishing you well. I think you'll do fine. Sending you happy thoughts!Phil
Posted by TamaraJ on June 1, 2005, at 8:28:39
In reply to New job-scared, scared, scared, posted by sleepygirl on May 31, 2005, at 22:26:05
It's always nerve-wracking starting a new job. You wouldn't be human if you didn't feel a bit nervous. But, you will do just fine, great as a matter of fact :-) That's my story, and I'm sticking to it!!! Oh, and rocks and debris being thrown at new employees? No, you've got that wrong. The employees save those to throw at the boss. I'm sure part of your orientaton when you arrive will be to show you where your rocks and debris are stored, and what the procedure is for throwing them at the boss. "Ok now sleepygirl, every Friday at about noon, we all gather outside the bosses office, and when he comes out to go for lunch - We lambaste him. Now, since you are new, you can have that huge rotten tomatoe over them. Let him have it right in the kisser, ok."
Good luck to you, sleepgirl. Hope it goes well.
> Hello you wonderful psychobabbble individuals.
> Here it comes again-in case you didn't know, I'm a terribly anxious person-and now it is directed toward a new job. Please tell me it will be OK. It's 2 days a week. I'm always quite sure people will throw rocks at me and other miscellaneous debris. What do you think?
Posted by JenStar on June 1, 2005, at 9:27:55
In reply to New job-scared, scared, scared, posted by sleepygirl on May 31, 2005, at 22:26:05
Just bring a catcher's mitt for those rocks! Ha, ha... just kidding...trying to be humorous. You'll be fine! You're going to do great, and they're going to love you. :)
When do you start?
JenStar
Posted by Angela2 on June 1, 2005, at 13:46:00
In reply to New job-scared, scared, scared, posted by sleepygirl on May 31, 2005, at 22:26:05
((((sleepygirl)))) Do you really have anything to fear? Or is it all in your head?
-Angela2
Posted by Damos on June 1, 2005, at 16:42:02
In reply to New job-scared, scared, scared, posted by sleepygirl on May 31, 2005, at 22:26:05
Is this the same sleepygirl who is brave enough to hunt down the evil BK and vanquish him for the benefit of all mankind? Surely not. She would not fear your average garden variety co-worker.
I'm sure you'll be fine, let us know how it goes.
Posted by sleepygirl on June 1, 2005, at 18:27:46
In reply to Re: New job-scared, scared, scared, posted by Phil on June 1, 2005, at 7:53:38
Thanks Phil. That helps. I do tend to feel like I can't possibly do everything the job entails. When I'm depressed it's very close to impossible. :(
Posted by sleepygirl on June 1, 2005, at 18:30:24
In reply to Re: New job-scared, scared, scared » sleepygirl, posted by TamaraJ on June 1, 2005, at 8:28:39
Oh, I see. No need for the protective head gear then? That's a relief. Thanks :-)
Posted by sleepygirl on June 1, 2005, at 18:32:02
In reply to Re: New job-scared, scared, scared » sleepygirl, posted by JenStar on June 1, 2005, at 9:27:55
I start Friday so I'm going to borrow some of your optimism OK? I promise to give it back soon. Thanks. :-)
Posted by sleepygirl on June 1, 2005, at 18:34:18
In reply to Re: New job-scared, scared, scared, posted by Angela2 on June 1, 2005, at 13:46:00
It's pretty much in my head. The world feels like a very dangerous place. Actually, the people I'll be working with are pretty nice. Count on me feeling overstimulated anyway. Thanks, no real rocks or debris.
Posted by sleepygirl on June 1, 2005, at 18:38:28
In reply to Re: New job-scared, scared, scared » sleepygirl, posted by TamaraJ on June 1, 2005, at 8:28:39
Hi,
I meant to put your name on one of the previous posts. Thanks for the response. It paints quite an amusing picture. OK, so I'll leave the riot gear at home...for now :-) My boss seems pretty nice actually. I don't think I want to throw anything at him yet. I have a lot of fears not based on reality. I'm almost scared of my shadow.
Posted by sleepygirl on June 1, 2005, at 18:40:46
In reply to Re: New job-scared, scared, scared » sleepygirl, posted by Damos on June 1, 2005, at 16:42:02
It is easy to know how to proceed with such an obviously evil foe such as BK. The dangers of the workplace however are less obvious. I guess though if I can take on BK the rest is easy. Thanks :-)
Posted by sleepygirl on June 1, 2005, at 18:46:33
In reply to Re: New job-scared, scared, scared » sleepygirl, posted by alexandra_k on June 1, 2005, at 2:51:37
Thanks alexandra. I provide therapeutic art activites to the mentally ill (including myself).
Posted by TamaraJ on June 1, 2005, at 18:50:12
In reply to Re: New job-scared, scared, scared » TamaraJ, posted by sleepygirl on June 1, 2005, at 18:38:28
Hi,
I know what you mean, and can really relate to what you say. I have been working where I am now for quite a while, but starting a new job was always a scary experiencing. I would have knots in my stomach and feel just plain nauseaus the first few days on a new job. But, it was never as bad as I thought it would be. When I started working where I am now (I was in a junior position at the time), I was so shy and nervous that I barely said a word. After I had worked there for about 6 months, I started coming out of my shell just a bit, and my boss made a joke that he was convinced that I was a deaf/mute when I first started working there. I laugh now, but that's how bad I was in the early days.
Have faith in yourself and don't put unreasonable demands and expectations on yourself. You will do fine, and before you know it, the first day jitters will be a distant memory.
All the best to you. Take care.
Tamara
> Hi,
> I meant to put your name on one of the previous posts. Thanks for the response. It paints quite an amusing picture. OK, so I'll leave the riot gear at home...for now :-) My boss seems pretty nice actually. I don't think I want to throw anything at him yet. I have a lot of fears not based on reality. I'm almost scared of my shadow.
Posted by sleepygirl on June 1, 2005, at 18:59:08
In reply to Re: New job-scared, scared, scared » sleepygirl, posted by TamaraJ on June 1, 2005, at 18:50:12
Thank you so much for your kindness. I forget to have patience with myself. I'll try to remember to breathe. You know the funny thing is there really is no one to be afraid of. I scare the crap out of myself.
Posted by TamaraJ on June 1, 2005, at 19:07:52
In reply to Re: New job-scared, scared, scared, posted by sleepygirl on June 1, 2005, at 18:59:08
I scare the crap out of myself.
LOL - Me too!!!
Posted by Angela2 on June 1, 2005, at 22:06:51
In reply to Re: New job-scared, scared, scared » Angela2, posted by sleepygirl on June 1, 2005, at 18:34:18
We are here for you and rooting for you sleepygirl! You can do it! Maybe try to relate to your coworkers, find something you have in common with them. Or find one nice thing to say about each of them. You don't actually have to say it, but thinking it may help:) You take care!
Posted by TamaraJ on June 2, 2005, at 19:54:17
In reply to Re: New job-scared, scared, scared JenStar, posted by sleepygirl on June 1, 2005, at 18:32:02
Posted by TamaraJ on June 3, 2005, at 15:30:11
In reply to Good luck tomorrow!! Hope 1st day goes real well!! (nm) » sleepygirl, posted by TamaraJ on June 2, 2005, at 19:54:17
Posted by sleepygirl on June 4, 2005, at 17:05:40
In reply to Hey, sleepygirl, how did the first day go? (nm) » TamaraJ, posted by TamaraJ on June 3, 2005, at 15:30:11
The first day went very well. The second day sucked big time. I think I am a tremendous loser. I woke up in horror 15 minutes before I had to be there, so I was 15 minutes late on MY SECOND DAY!! I just wanted to die. My fiance had to be to work at 8, and me at 9. He woke me before he left, and I remember it vaguely, but I guess I'm such a STUPID *SS that I fell asleep again.
I am really hating myself right now, and I'm thinking about how much I wanted this job and how much I still want it, and how lucky I was to get it, and how can I be such a loser, and that I'd like to add another medication to help with my anxiety, but if I get any more sedated then I'll really be late, and be a HUGE loser, get fired, and then I will be massively SCREWED, and it will be no one's fault, but my own. I am a pathetic, wretched waste of life. Sorry to post such negativity, but it's all I got right now. Thank you for asking though.
Posted by TamaraJ on June 4, 2005, at 17:20:07
In reply to Re: Hey, sleepygirl, how did the first day go? » TamaraJ, posted by sleepygirl on June 4, 2005, at 17:05:40
No, No, No. Repeat after me - I am neither a loser nor a stupid **ss, and I do not hate myself. You are adjusting to a new schedule, and that can be difficult. Maybe your finance can continue to wake you up before he leaves, but perhaps he can also call you from his cell phone on his way to work, at least while you adjust to your new schedule. And, just to let you know, I did the same thing once - late for work just after starting a new job. But, you know what, it was not the end of the world, and I didn't get fired or even reprimanded.
Hey, don't worry about posting negativity. It's better to get it out than continue to beat yourself up with damaging self-talk. You are a good, kind, compassionate and talented person. So, you can discard the words you have come up with to describe yourself for the foreseeable future, ya hear!
Hang in there, ok. The first number of days on a new job are the most stressful. You will find your rhythm and get into a groove, and the early days on the job will be seem like a blur.
Tamara
Posted by sleepygirl on June 4, 2005, at 17:24:45
In reply to Re: Hey, sleepygirl, how did the first day go? » sleepygirl, posted by TamaraJ on June 4, 2005, at 17:20:07
Thank you. I am so scared I'm going to screw this up, and if I get fired it's really going to do a number on me. I'm also a bit on the pitty pot because I'm thinking a lot of people have a lot easier time than me (how this is productive, I don't know)
Posted by TamaraJ on June 4, 2005, at 17:47:20
In reply to Re: Hey, sleepygirl, how did the first day go?, posted by sleepygirl on June 4, 2005, at 17:24:45
I know how powerful the self-doubt and fear can be, especially when we so want to prove to ourselves and others that we can do well and succeed at what we are doing. You know you have the skills to do the job, now see if you can try, each day, to reassure yourself that the work you are doing is a good match for your strengths (cuz everybody has strengths, it's just that we are always so busy revelling in our weaknesses that we forget what we do well) and that they are darn lucky to have found you (even if at first you have a hard time convincing yourself of that - say it enough and it will sink in)!! Hey, I don't blame you for being on the pity pot. It is true that there are others who seem to have an easier time, which makes each and every stride we make all that more to be proud of. You know what, you have made it through two days already, so you are on your way.
I'm sorry if I sound like a Pollyanna and am being annoying. I just don't like to see good people, with good intentions, beat themselves up.
Tamara
> Thank you. I am so scared I'm going to screw this up, and if I get fired it's really going to do a number on me. I'm also a bit on the pitty pot because I'm thinking a lot of people have a lot easier time than me (how this is productive, I don't know)
Posted by sleepygirl on June 4, 2005, at 19:33:15
In reply to Re: Hey, sleepygirl, how did the first day go? » sleepygirl, posted by TamaraJ on June 4, 2005, at 17:47:20
no I don't think you're a pollyanna. I appreciate the voice of reason. Thanks for the pep talk. Have you seen the show...what's it called "Hell's Kitchen"? It has this horribly critical, demeaning man who yells at people trying to be chefs so that they totally breakdown. I think I have some version of that guy in my head, and he says. "Look what you did! Look, you're an awful, terrible miserable excuse for a human being!" I'll try to reign in my internal nasty guy. He's not very pleasant.
I'll try to give myself the benefit of the doubt. Thanks again. I hope you are well. I've been reading your posts about the depo and effexor and trying to recover from depression. I know it's really hard. You are awesome though, and I know we will both be OK, someday.
Posted by TamaraJ on June 4, 2005, at 20:26:15
In reply to Re: Hey, sleepygirl, how did the first day go? » TamaraJ, posted by sleepygirl on June 4, 2005, at 19:33:15
I have never seen an episode of "Hell's Kitchen", but I have seen commercials for it. That guy is an absolute turd!!! I don't know what would give anyone the right to abuse others like that. Probably low self-esteem. I worked with this guy years ago (my first full-time job in an office when I was about 19), and he was a yeller and liked to demean people. Anyway, he was away one time, and something was not handled very well in his absence. So, he starts chewing out me and the guy who was filling in for him while he was away. Well, it scared the crap out of me, and I just burst out laughing in his face (I was a nervous wreck and, I guess, just got a bit hysterical). Well, he stops ranting and asks me what is so funny. So, I say - You are, carrying on like this in front of everyone. I was convinced I would be fired, but, no, from that point on, he treated me with such respect and kindness. It was bizaare.
But, I know what you mean about the ogre inside. I spent many years telling myself how stupid I was, how incompetent I was, what a miserable piece of crap I was . . .. Even when I was promoted and given exceptional achievement awards at work I was sure that it was just a matter of time before they found out what a loser I really was. I don't do it as much now, and, until I got sick, I didn't feel as stressed or anxious at work or elsewhere. I think, as hard as it is to do, we need to work on reminding ourselves that the only one we really need to impress is ourself, because once we have impressed ourself and can say "you know what, I am not half bad", then we won't worry nearly as much about what others think or whether our efforts were good enough. Our successes will be measured by the smile on our faces (which, obviously won't be there everyday. Even the most well-adjusted person [if there is such a thing], has a bad day or two), and our ability to look in the mirror and say "I done good today".
I hope we both will be more than ok someday very soon as well. And, sorry for the long message. I think I have a bad case of verbal diarreah these days. Yipes, someone hand me the Immodium, quick!!
Take care.
Tamara
Posted by sleepygirl on June 4, 2005, at 23:22:15
In reply to Re: Hey, sleepygirl, how did the first day go? » sleepygirl, posted by TamaraJ on June 4, 2005, at 20:26:15
Yeah,
There's some people out there who really spew anger, and hatred all over the place because they can. I'm glad you laughed, that's hilarious. "Like, what are you kidding? Lay off the steroids man." I think it's great that you can keep other people from ruining your day. I'm practicing/learning/trying that.
I keep thinking people will find out about how terrible I am. It's hard to go through life that way. I know I try my hardest. I guess I have to decide what's enough. I've never felt like I've gotten there. This stress is not good for me. Depression and anxiety aside (I know it's real, I'm so sensitive-rough times do really put hair triggers on those neurons), I've got to get some more realistic expectations in my head and heart. I actually do really like life. I think it has a lot to offer,I meet the most beautiful people (like yourself), have seen so many beautiful things, and have accomplished a lot despite myself, but darn it, sometimes I'm really stuck in my sh*t. Let's hear it for gentleness, patience, and acceptance, and may we remember it on the bad days.
P.S. The store's out of immodium, no cure for the verbal diarrhea, SORRY!
This is the end of the thread.
Psycho-Babble Social | Extras | FAQ
Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
[email protected]
Script revised: February 4, 2008
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/cgi-bin/pb/mget.pl
Copyright 2006-17 Robert Hsiung.
Owned and operated by Dr. Bob LLC and not the University of Chicago.