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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
[email protected]Shown: posts 1 to 6 of 6. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by Gracie2 on February 24, 2002, at 2:43:37
* The older you get, the longer the pillow marks stay on your face after you get up in the morning.*The older you get, the less you should worry about what others think of you. One quote: Life is not a dress rehersal. This is it. Bill Cosby said, "I don't know the secret to being happy, but I know what it's not: trying to please everyone else."
*Seek help if you need it. Trying to handle serious mental and emotional problems on your own is as foolish as trying to handle diabetes or some other serious physical disease on your own.
*Never accept physical or mental abuse from anyone, including an abusive spouse or a sadistic boss. Get the hell out.
*If you are unhappy at work, make a concerted effort to find a job that interests you, no matter how old you are or how different a new job change would be. Your professional job involves a major part of your life and if you are unhappy, it's time for a major overhaul in your life's thinking. A great many people have changed their career several times when they learned that an occupation was unsuited for them, and so can you.
*Children grow fast. Spend as much time as possible with them, ask and answer a lot of questions, and let them know they're important and supported by you when they have a dream. They will be grown and gone before you know it; don't let that time slip by.
*Pick your battles. Not everything is worth getting overly concerned about. If you bitch and rant and rave over the small things, nobody will listen to you when you have something truely important to say. Don't cry Wolf at work, at home, or witrh strangers.
*Your health is precious. Take care of it or, at the very least, be willing to accept the responsibility if you have made yourself sick through drug or alcohol abuse or appalling health habits.
*Learn to accept that your emotional problems may have been caused not only by genetics or a poor environmental upbringing. Blaming your rotten parents may bring temporary relief, but it's destructive to continue to blame them for your mental state. It's a terrible trap to continue blaming your family for all your problems and then stop there, with the excuse for your past to blame your mental problems in the present. This is a crutch that a weak person leans on. At some point it's time to move past that and to finally start accepting your actions as a product of your own thinking. This is a great step towards maturity.
*It's essential to map out the life you want for yourself and plan accordingly. You will not move forward in life without setting goals and even if you feel resistance, break down your goals into managable units - baby steps that will eventually
help you reach your goal. Having a purpose in
life is essential.*You are just as important, unique and wonderful as any other human on the planet. Nobody is "above" you- not your boss, your spouse, your kids, your wife. Your ideas and opinions are every bit as important as theirs. If your husband yells because you didn't get along with his company CEO and their wife (or husband), this doesn't mean you're an embarrassment - it means, often, that their snobbishnes and small minds and the trivial crap so important to them - matching china, landscaped lawns, designer dresses, front-row tickers, catered food - was just not in your circle of interest and that you have risen above petty, stupid, unimportant crap like attending a society ball, owning designer dresses, going to name-dropping formal events, having the most expensive car and the best-lanscaped yard. Big yawn.
That's enough for tonight-
Gracie the Oracle
Posted by Cam W. on February 24, 2002, at 3:36:01
In reply to What I have learned in my 42 years, posted by Gracie2 on February 24, 2002, at 2:43:37
Gracie - I liked your post and agree with it wholeheartedly. I would like to add something to the last point, though. While no one should be seen as being above you, no one should be seen as being beneath you, either.
I think that a lot of people forget this. I always try to treat everyone equally. A street person with schizophrenia is equal to a psychiatrist; you can learn from both of them. - Cam
Posted by Rach on February 25, 2002, at 1:17:20
In reply to Re: What I have learned in my 42 years » Gracie2, posted by Cam W. on February 24, 2002, at 3:36:01
For your wisdom, and for sharing it. In particular, the point about not caring what other people think hit home with me - I am really trying to move past that right now. VERY long process.
Thank you for your thoughts and words.
Rachael
Posted by kazoo on February 25, 2002, at 2:28:36
In reply to What I have learned in my 42 years, posted by Gracie2 on February 24, 2002, at 2:43:37
> *Learn to accept that your emotional problems may have been caused not only by genetics or a poor environmental upbringing. Blaming your rotten parents may bring temporary relief, but it's destructive to continue to blame them for your mental state. It's a terrible trap to continue blaming your family for all your problems and then stop there, with the excuse for your past to blame your mental problems in the present. This is a crutch that a weak person leans on. At some point it's time to move past that and to finally start accepting your actions as a product of your own thinking. This is a great step towards maturity.
^^^^^^^^^^Bravo, Gracie!
Now, what do I tell my sister, who is 59 years old this year, that she can't blame her parents anymore for her rotten life now that both are dead? Should I tell her to look in the mirror and watch her sins accumulate, layered so thickly that even a hammer and chisel are useless?
Are you reading this "Mary Queen of Snots"? Has it hit you yet, dear? Did the realization of a "conspicuous absence" finally sink in your damp, ignorant psyche yet? Is there something or someone missing from your life or are you too stupid to know any better?
On December 6, 2001, I lost two people: (1) my mother to Eternity ... (2) my sister to avarice, selfishness, deceit. I mourn for my mother and will do so for a very long time. As for the "other" ... what "other"?
kazoo
Posted by shelliR on February 25, 2002, at 11:39:43
In reply to What I have learned in my 42 years, posted by Gracie2 on February 24, 2002, at 2:43:37
Gracie,
There is so much wisdom in your post. It made me tearful because many of the lessions that you list, I only "got" in the last couple of years. And there are others, I am still working on.
<<<*If you are unhappy at work, make a concerted effort to find a job that interests you, no matter how old you are or how different a new job change
would be. Your professional job involves a major part of your life and if you are unhappy, it's time for a major overhaul in your life's thinking. A
great many people have changed their career several times when they learned that an occupation was unsuited for them, and so can you.>>>I changed careers from technical to artistic at age 32. I was fortunate to have the resources to be able to make that change. I'd like to think that even without the support offered to me, I would have figured out some way to make that change. It has profoundly affected my life in a positive way. It has also left me with the emotional resources to learn many of the other things you have learned in your 42 years.
BTW, if you know all this now, think of what you'll have learned by the time you're 84.
Thanks,
Shelli
Posted by Gracie2 on February 25, 2002, at 17:16:50
In reply to Re: What I have learned in my 42 years » Gracie2, posted by kazoo on February 25, 2002, at 2:28:36
This is the end of the thread.
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