![[dr. bob]](/dr-bob-sm.gif)
Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
[email protected]Shown: posts 1 to 22 of 22. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by muffled on December 20, 2007, at 23:43:55
I was writing in my journal, and saying stuff bout my peeps, but even as I wrote and read it, I am in TOTAL denial of having parts....AT THE SAME TIME. Thats what it is like. So nonsensical.
Parallel thot trains.
One head.
One body.
One history.
I can be talking in T, and have another part try and come and I don't want it to, and it feels JUST like its trying to elbow its way forward, and I am shoving it back....
But of course.
I don't ACTUALLY have parts...its just some weird game I play.....
An adaptation...
I do not lose time, so I MUST not have peeps....
Do I?
Yet....where was I a coupla T appts ago??? In the time I do not remember. WHERE was I? WHO was talking and calm?
But I just a wee bit split is all.
Nothing bad ever happened to me.
Everything in my life has been my own choices, bad ones lots.
I am doing OK......but my actual life as far as taxes/financial stuff/disaster house/ etc etc....is a mess...
But really...I am very well adjusted.
Just sometimes there's screaming in my head...
Peaple like me...they seem to like me....or PARTS of me anyways....but I am a leper....
If I got hurt as a kid, its my own fault, I shoulda done something......but WHAT? WHAT truly COULD I have done?....
And on it goes....
And I will take my kids to school, and participate and help out and be nice, and people will like me, and I will seem so NORMAL.
They can't see the rancid thots that live in my head.
Weird.
Alls I can say is WEIRD.
M
Posted by muffled on December 20, 2007, at 23:54:39
In reply to Its SO weird....., posted by muffled on December 20, 2007, at 23:43:55
I gonna miss my T.....even if she an idiot...
My T is SOOOOO nice....cuz she feels OBLIGED.
I am so weak if I miss my T.
I don't really miss her...
But I kinda wished I had this pic she showed me of her that someone gave her. She were outside, she looked like herself. It was a nice pic.
She gonna go and have a merry christmas, proly all happy with her happy well adjusted family.
They will have many friends come visit. They proly make a real proper dinner. They proly actually sit at a table to eat and talk to each other insteada sitting in front of the TV like we do.
Their bathroom is proly clean.
She proly does "it" w/her hubby and makes him feel happy.
I will hobble along trying to do the right things. Struggling. Wishing I could do a better job of being a Mom/wife.
Trying hard not to shut down.
I not a very nice person eh?
Jealous.
Sigh.
Christmas sucks.
M
Posted by littleone on December 21, 2007, at 2:36:51
In reply to Its SO weird....., posted by muffled on December 20, 2007, at 23:43:55
i don't have any words in me. but i wanted to say you're not alone. i too have felt exactly like this even just recently. want to say more, but don't have the words in me.
also feel like your damn post too. more to say but i dont' have the words. i'm sorry my words aren't coming today.
keep taking turtle steps muffled. we'll get there. eventually.
Posted by muffled on December 21, 2007, at 2:44:00
In reply to Re: Its SO weird....., posted by littleone on December 21, 2007, at 2:36:51
The words you wrote littleone were perfect.
They made me feel better.
Thanks,
M
Posted by muffled on December 21, 2007, at 2:57:50
In reply to Re: Its SO weird....., posted by littleone on December 21, 2007, at 2:36:51
Whoah, had 2 lg coffee and couldn't sleep. So I laying there thinking of my kids School and ideas and how lucky I am to be able to help out there, and how kind people are to the rather eccentric Me...
Then I was thinking 'scenarios'. I realize now, that it is a way of communicating with my peeps. Things go better when I do them(scenarios). It calms my inner world. One version is I imagine I am in T and talking my people to her. It seems a WAY easier way to find out whats going on for me. I guess by talking to an 'external' person(T) its just is easier.
So anyways, I came to a scenario where I was gonna try to have that new kid talk to T(young one that I think took over when Thatkid got hurt). But when I tried to get her, a diff one was there, and I allasudden felt SO nautious, and there were feelings, but I can't remember exactly what they was, even tho I thot of what they were at the time.Seems they weren't all that strong, just kinda sad or something maybe.. But once they gone, you forget them, how they were. So I think my Mommy part was around, cuz of thinking bout school kids and how special they are B4, and my Mom part was there for Thatkid!(the one that got hurt) She felt so sad for how that kid felt, and at first all she kept saying was sorry, sorry, sorry, over and over cuz she had no words cuz she felt SO bad for thatkid. But then she talked to kid. In the right way, in the MOMMY way. And she told kid kinda a story as how: there was a beautiful picture, it was such a nice picture, but then they covered the picture with puke and pus and everything gross, and poked holes in it too. But under the gross stuff, the picture is still there, its still the same picture. And she was smart, cuz then she said as how thats the special thing of humans is we WASHABLE!!! ROFL!!! So mebbe while kid was dirtyied, the bad stuff can wash off, and while maybe her heart is forever damaged, it can heal some. The beauty that was there B4 she was hurt, is STILL there. The hurt just overshadowed it for a time. And the Mom said as how Thatkid is of FRANCHESCA!!!(Fran is the sweet beautiful innocent baby) and that Franchesca is HER(meaning Thatkid) so sweet Franchesca and Thatkid are both the SAME. Thatkid is Franchesca hurt, but still, that she is of Franchesca TOO. And then the Mom was feeling how Thatkid was feeling some again, and she didn't know what to do, so she allasudden just truly PRAYED to God, she ask God so bad, can He help that kid.
So then a bit later. I was thinking as how...WHOAH....like...that black thing in us....what if it was GONE someday. What if it WAS Thatkid and how she feels. What if we NOT bad???? For a moment we FELT how it must feel to not be bad inside. Whoah, we figger that was kinda cool all right. But then it went away again, and that blackness inside is back. But the MOM DID talk to that kid, and I dunno, but mebbe she heard her some? The Mom did a good job I think. Manoman, I even feel kinda bad for Thakid I guess. I guess. Its so weird being me. I am weird. But I am thankful too.
So this I think is first time or maybe one of the few times we ever actually felt bad for Thatkid.....honestly bad...w/o blaming her or nothing.
Posted by littleone on December 21, 2007, at 3:19:38
In reply to OK now this was GOOD but poss. abuse**triggers**, posted by muffled on December 21, 2007, at 2:57:50
this was VERY good. a mommy part is very good. and seeing under teh filth is very good. i love how she said the kid was washable. i will definately need to remember that.
Posted by I need a hug on December 21, 2007, at 4:02:50
In reply to OK now this was GOOD but poss. abuse**triggers**, posted by muffled on December 21, 2007, at 2:57:50
Muff,
PLEASE don't be so hard on yourself! If you got hurt when you were a kid, it was your fault? I don't think so. You should have done something about it? What could you have done? You were an innocent kid. Don't blame yourself for things that happenned that you had no control over. Wash that stuff out of your head just like you're going to wash the other stuff away. You seem to have it in your head that you're weird. I would love to meet you in person. You're probably more normal than 99.9% of the people I know. You are so open and honest about what you are feeeling when you post and you are so supportive of others. I consider you one of my "peeps." Where I come from, peeps means FRIENDS!!! HUGS
Posted by rskontos on December 21, 2007, at 7:50:39
In reply to Re: Its SO weird..... » littleone, posted by muffled on December 21, 2007, at 2:44:00
Muffled, I am in denial about my parts all last night I said I dont have peeps I am bi-polar or borderline or something else I don't know I just messed up and I lost huge amounts of time.
I woke up with strange people( you know doing what I don't want to say) that i didn't know. When I was a teenager I would go to school and I guess act normal take test, answer questions, drive home and never remember a thing. The last thing I remembered is being in my pj and "wake up" in school clothes. I have lost weeks at a time. I have spent money and bought things I don't remember doing. I have been in one place just to "wake up" in another place and dont remember how the heck I got there. But NO ONE noticed but me.
I still dont think I have peeps. yet at times now my body feels like someone else's. My t asks me last time how I feel I say I don't know which is real me. She says all of them are you. WTF does that mean. Does that make sense? I guess it does.
It would be so easy to say that I am acting up and making this up. Wouldnt it. But how can I be doing that How can I make myself lose time. And how can you, Muffled, make parts, you can't and just cause you don't remember what happened to make you split does mean something didn't because it sounds like you have them too.
I know how weird it is. Last night I invited them(any of my peeps and littleone came. I felt her . It was wierd and I could not then push her out. She had no words just sadness that resulted in crying ALOT. I let littleone cry and cry and cry and she left. and now the chattering has stopped for now.
I truly understand wanting to be anything other than this. I too wish it. But we must face it and deal with it. Because we are strong that is why we are this. And we can do it. We must.
We will move forward. Forward is the only way to go.Right?
rsk
Posted by lovelorn on December 21, 2007, at 17:19:50
In reply to Its SO weird....., posted by muffled on December 20, 2007, at 23:43:55
>Alls I can say is WEIRD.
It is weird since it seems you can talk about all the different parts and seem to understand how each one acts, reacts and feels. I think the mental blocks is you not accepting that it is all you, which your T is helping you try to understand I do believe. It will come in time. And that is great you didn't want to hurt or blame the younger one. I think it means you are arriving at some acceptance of that part of yourself. When you think about it, it really would be your own self you want to hurt to blame. That's progress and I am sure it's because of the therapy sessions - you are getting in more compassionate touch with yourself.
Posted by zenhussy on December 21, 2007, at 17:30:07
In reply to Its SO weird....., posted by muffled on December 20, 2007, at 23:43:55
Posted by muffled on December 22, 2007, at 12:15:54
In reply to accepting reality is harder than fighting denial (nm) » muffled, posted by zenhussy on December 21, 2007, at 17:30:07
I have a hard time explaining it to T.
The ongoing day to day stuff.
Some days, some weeks, can be fine mostly.
But when things stirred up even a bit its SO frustrating.
Its the ONGOINGNESS of it. The RELENTNESSNESS of it. Its so wearing and tiring and frustrating to be having more than one set of thots/emotions. And for some of the thots/emotions are so silly for and adult, cuz they are comming from a child, but they are very real....
I goto go, mebbe others have descriptions too?
Thanks,
M
Posted by rskontos on December 22, 2007, at 13:15:32
In reply to DESCRIBING how a DD FEELS....., posted by muffled on December 22, 2007, at 12:15:54
The things for me that gets to me right now, are the frustrations of no memories, zip nada nothing. My sister can tell me a place I went with her and I don't remember it all. She could tell me I ran naked down the street singing christmas songs and I would have to take her word for it. That is so FRUSTRATING. ANd being told you have to parent yourself. I HATE THAT! And the voices. It would be nice to have an off switch.
And I came home to a notification from ebay I bought something. Do I remember buying this no. Is it something adult me would buy. No it something TEENAGER would buy. Luckily it wasn't expensive. Now do I tell ebay it wasn't me it was an alter of me and I had checked out. No so i hit paypal and paid for it but WTF and I going to do. Luckily my daughter likes it and can use it and I can pretend it is a xmas present but really this can get out of hand.
And then there is checking to make sure you have a body. and pretending not to have parts. To not talk in the we pronoun to those that don't know like your immediate family who is clueless.
And when those emotions come out they are WAY OUT OF size and appropriate for the situation. LIke a normal conflict in life, someone cutting you off in the street, or not getting your order right at drivethrough, or when you argue with your kids. Then you way overreact. Because your emotions are stick whereever the kid, the teenager who have them is....agewise. Because adult me has none. And situations trigger you but it isn't you it is the others that have emotions. Does this make sense....
Heck I am rambling now. Sorry muffled I thought I could make sense.
You know though my new doc says I do or rather my parts envy my kids. And they do. And that is wrong. But true:(
There I said it outloud......
That is my shameful secret too....it isn't shameful for me the person, but shameful for me the mom.
rsk
Posted by star008 on December 22, 2007, at 15:14:48
In reply to DESCRIBING how a DD FEELS....., posted by muffled on December 22, 2007, at 12:15:54
hey muffled... again my friend you are not alone in your thoughts. a part of me still thinks it isn't real.. that I am not DID. that I am just a drama queen making all this sh..t up.. but then there are the times when i switch right in front of myself.damn. called my T the other day and couldn't recall who called him. i vaguely calling remembered it but it was as if someone else did it. and i think i am lying too and nothing that bad happened to me.. i don't remember anything that bad that would have made me split into all these peeps.. but maybe yours were like mine and there wasn't any huge thing that made you split.. maybe it was the ongoing, neverending stuff that the kids couldn't deal with. and i don't know if knowing your DID makes it any easier.
and i go out in the wORld and act normal and no one knows that I am really f..ed up..
I think about my T too and his well adjusted family having their many friends over and having a fun "well adjusted" time..lol. exchanging well-thought-out gifts and being loving and feeling grateful for their good fortune..Hanging out in their beautiful homes and having, yes, dinner all together at the table. I don't have xmas dinner at all much less at a table with family..maybe someday when i have a bigger house..
I had a bad week.. got really sick and split most of the time.. I saw monsters in the blankets.. Yeah, i know they were my imagination.. my Ikid was scared they were so real. They moved and scared her and she cried. they looked like monsters to me too, even though I knew they weren't real.. freaked me out watching them move..and they were very real to my Ikid.. and she cried and wanted her mom. But mom wasn't there for her..So I tried to smash the blanket monsters but a new one would come up where the old one was..It was very real to me.. to the adult me. it was real.. i saw it.
I don't know if there is a way to describe what it is like muffled.. If you got it you know what it is like and no one else is going to understand totally.. My T gets it but I don't know if he has a clue as to how it feels..
I am glad someone came to help out thatkid..and glad that you were able to feel a little bad for her..The poor kid.. All of them... All our poor kids stuck inside and living through sh...t over and over again.. Just kids..
Posted by muffled on December 22, 2007, at 17:52:53
In reply to Re: DESCRIBING how a DD FEELS..... » muffled, posted by star008 on December 22, 2007, at 15:14:48
I am reading and reading and thinking and thinking and I sure appreciate all input and of course kind words.
I have MORE thots, or questions.
I don't cry. I HAVE cried. Like when my dog died. But I cannot cry at my own sadness. I have felt like I COULD cry, I have all the right correspondiong physical sensations...but it gets shut down. I dunno how or why. I sometimes kinda wish I could just cry. But I not allowed.
Anybody else like that?Also I wonder if some of my peeps can be depressed and some not? Or is it one and all?
Its hard to know what I feel, when sometimes I am feeling more than one thing, and they don't make sense together, the feelings.I just am trying very very hard to 'stay present' as my T calls it, for my family.
I need meds but its hard to get Dr. appt.
I guess mebbe i should just take xanax 3x/day need it or not? Its all I got right now. I should take it today, but I just don't.
Part of me is really juast fine.
Part of me is SO NOT.
I proly should proly consciously access the 'fine' part and stick with it. My only concern is that in the past if I do that too long, the others seem to get mad, and I end up blowing out dangerously.I hate holidays.
I just wish it was over.You babblers all are great.
Sorry not individ replies.
Partly cuz I tense.
Partly cuz kids are home and can't sit at computer for long.
Someboddy really riled up inside and I dunno why, I reckon I'll xanax them and see how THAT goes.
Later gator as another babbler said to me!
In awhile crocodile!
M
Posted by rskontos on December 22, 2007, at 18:32:05
In reply to Thx for replies guys...., posted by muffled on December 22, 2007, at 17:52:53
Muffled, when I felt like that I invited them out. And that is when one who had all the tears let it flow like hot lava. I was just sitting and I said whoever wants out come on, I will let you do your thing. And then she came with her tears, and I cried for quite a while. I havent done alot of crying since. It felt good to let some out. I don't know if that would work I didn't know that would happen when I did it. It just did. I am not sure it will work every time. Not that I will just do it all the time. I have decided to let them out when the voices get so chattering I cant hear anything else and my emotions seem out of balance and the anger is there. I think if you don't allow some of it then when it does come then it is too all over the place. But on the other hand I had a bunch of bad days. The 2.5 I spent when new T was so helpful. Calm us all down. Chattering is lower now too. I was like you I would not allow. New Doc says you have worked hard not to have feelings haven't you. I said yes. He says why. I said feelings hurt. He says but you had lots of people try to care for you. I said they might in long run hurt me. He says like your parents. I said yes. He said and now why can you so easily tell me all you have hidden for so long, I said because I am afraid I will become an empty vessel. No more feelings. All gone. I think that is bad. You do this long enough you forget how to have them. Right. Before he responded I said right. I am right. I didn't give him a chance to respond I am right. So you must let those that have the tears out so you don't forget you have them. That is what I think.
I hope this helps. Take my friend, and I am the one,
later gator.....rsk
Posted by lovelorn on December 22, 2007, at 20:25:00
In reply to Thx for replies guys...., posted by muffled on December 22, 2007, at 17:52:53
>I have felt like I COULD cry, I have all the right correspondiong physical sensations...but it gets shut down.
Yes, it happens sometimes even when you don't have DD.
Maybe next time the feeling comes, tell yourself over and over again you 'are' allowed to cry. It may not work right away but perhaps another time if you say it often enough.
I am trying to remember if you've ever wrote about crying with your T. Sometimes the tears come easier when you actually talk to someone of your sadness.
Posted by I need a hug on December 22, 2007, at 22:05:30
In reply to Re: Thx for replies guys.... » muffled, posted by lovelorn on December 22, 2007, at 20:25:00
I don't know if it's a control thing or what but I never let anyone see me cry. I very rarely cry, but when I do, it's like a dam has burst. I only do this when I am alone, usually in bed at night, and I usually cry until I am so exhausted I fall asleep. The next morning I wake up feeling like a huge burden has been lifted. The only other time I cry is when I am with my T and I feel totally safe with her and that's usually when I'm talking about something very sad like someone who has died. Lovelorn has some good points. I don't have DD but holding back the tears and other emotions can take such a toll on a person's physical, as well as, mental well-being. It's really done a number on me. It's why I'm in therapy today. I have a lot of anger that I've never expressed. I'm so sorry. I didn't mean to take over your thread but in a way it's really a compliment to you. You ask some really good questions. Many of your posts are really thought-provoking. You make me think about things I might not want to think about but need to think about. You've helped me more than you'll ever know. I only wish I could do something for you but I just don't know much about DD. I will try to learn more about it. For now, I think lovelorn has given you some good advice. Give yourself permission to cry. It's o.k. to cry. Do it in a safe place. For me, that's with my T. The tears come easier when I'm sad. What happens when you feel sad? Again, I'm sorry about your thread and I didn't mean for this to be so long. You are such a kind-hearted person and you give so much to others. I just want you to be happy and find some answers that will give you some piece of mind. You DESERVE all that and more!!! HUGS
Posted by muffled on December 24, 2007, at 0:22:17
In reply to accepting reality is harder than fighting denial (nm) » muffled, posted by zenhussy on December 21, 2007, at 17:30:07
Gonna write that in my journal Thx.
M
Posted by muffled on December 24, 2007, at 0:42:27
In reply to Re: DESCRIBING how a DD FEELS..... » muffled, posted by rskontos on December 22, 2007, at 13:15:32
> The things for me that gets to me right now, are the frustrations of no memories, zip nada nothing. My sister can tell me a place I went with her and I don't remember it all. She could tell me I ran naked down the street singing christmas songs and I would have to take her word for it. That is so FRUSTRATING. ANd being told you have to parent yourself. I HATE THAT! And the voices. It would be nice to have an off switch.
*ya. I don't know stuff either, and what I DO know, I dunno whether its cuz its been told to me by family, or construed from photos....I dunno. I can remember, well, there is a part that remembers actual layout of house and garden, and random stuff. But no emots, or people stuff.
And it IS hard cuz I feel so defective when my sisters are reminsicscing and I just kinda sit there feeling slightly sick, cuz I then think, mebbe I remember bits, but not sure, and why can they sit there and remember and I can't? Its just a blank hole :-(
> And I came home to a notification from ebay I bought something. Do I remember buying this no. Is it something adult me would buy. No it something TEENAGER would buy. Luckily it wasn't expensive. Now do I tell ebay it wasn't me it was an alter of me and I had checked out. No so i hit paypal and paid for it but WTF and I going to do. Luckily my daughter likes it and can use it and I can pretend it is a xmas present but really this can get out of hand.*OMG, that would be awful. I don't do dtuff like that that I know of. I hope you can get a handle on this asap.
> And then there is checking to make sure you have a body. and pretending not to have parts. To not talk in the we pronoun to those that don't know like your immediate family who is clueless.*I mostly don't say we. There is one part that does alot, but not in the open usu. It has come out in T and said we. And I say it in writing no prob. But thats it. I myself have never said we in T I don't think.
The body stuff don't bother me much oddly enuf.
Can you just make like your 'tripping' on something and make it fun? Sounds crazy (LOL!) but it works for me.> And when those emotions come out they are WAY OUT OF size and appropriate for the situation. LIke a normal conflict in life, someone cutting you off in the street, or not getting your order right at drivethrough, or when you argue with your kids. Then you way overreact. Because your emotions are stick whereever the kid, the teenager who have them is....agewise. Because adult me has none. And situations trigger you but it isn't you it is the others that have emotions. Does this make sense....
*My emotions are almost always muted. Cept anger.
In high school I TOTALLY lost my emotions. I went to a training course on finding and IDing emotions. It was useful.
> Heck I am rambling now. Sorry muffled I thought I could make sense.*not a ramble! I love to read your stuff!
> You know though my new doc says I do or rather my parts envy my kids. And they do. And that is wrong. But true:(* I dunno if any of me is helous of my kids, cuz they not got much use for me. One gets jelous over T sometimes. But don't diss yourself bout it. These inside kids ARE KIDS, and therefore think and ACT like KIDS. I have such a hard time with this concept...
> There I said it outloud......
> That is my shameful secret too....it isn't shameful for me the person, but shameful for me the mom.*thanks for entrusting this to us ((rsk))
But it is not shamful at all.
Its regular normal kidstuff.
Cuz kids will be kids.
And as I say, they ARE kids....
Take care Rsk, and thanks.
M
> rsk
Posted by muffled on December 24, 2007, at 1:04:40
In reply to Re: DESCRIBING how a DD FEELS..... » muffled, posted by star008 on December 22, 2007, at 15:14:48
> hey muffled... again my friend you are not alone in your thoughts. a part of me still thinks it isn't real.. that I am not DID. that I am just a drama queen making all this sh..t up.. but then there are the times when i switch right in front of myself.damn. called my T the other day and couldn't recall who called him. i vaguely calling remembered it but it was as if someone else did it. and i think i am lying too and nothing that bad happened to me.. i don't remember anything that bad that would have made me split into all these peeps.. but maybe yours were like mine and there wasn't any huge thing that made you split.. maybe it was the ongoing, neverending stuff that the kids couldn't deal with. and i don't know if knowing your DID makes it any easier.
* I call myself 'split some'...
Mebbe go so far as to perhaps fall somewhat into the DDNOS catagory. But I not DID I would not say. I have peeps, but don't fully switch per se. Not in a B&W way.
I think I could remember more, maybe, but I don't want to, cuz what would be the use? What few 'bits' I have are so very inconclusive and don't really make sense. Nor would I expect them to, given the source. Kids. They don't see things the same way adults do.
Anyhow, getting to know my peeps better has been a slow process, but it does help me to better understnad ALOT of stuff.> and i go out in the wORld and act normal and no one knows that I am really f..ed up..
*EXACTLY
> I think about my T too and his well adjusted family having their many friends over and having a fun "well adjusted" time..lol. exchanging well-thought-out gifts and being loving and feeling grateful for their good fortune..Hanging out in their beautiful homes and having, yes, dinner all together at the table. I don't have xmas dinner at all much less at a table with family..maybe someday when i have a bigger house..*LOL!!!! I laughed when I read this!!! Thanks for that!! ROFL!!! My T is pretty good, if I ask her, she'll tell me the nasty stuff too!!!
> I had a bad week.. got really sick and split most of the time.. I saw monsters in the blankets.. Yeah, i know they were my imagination.. my Ikid was scared they were so real. They moved and scared her and she cried. they looked like monsters to me too, even though I knew they weren't real.. freaked me out watching them move..and they were very real to my Ikid.. and she cried and wanted her mom. But mom wasn't there for her..So I tried to smash the blanket monsters but a new one would come up where the old one was..It was very real to me.. to the adult me. it was real.. i saw it.*ok, now THAT is bad :-( I don't get scared of 'stuff' much. I get scared alot, but I have a lineup of progressively tough parts that stand in as needed...In that situ of yours, a tough part would come. You don't have tough parts? Protection? Security? I have MUCH.
I wished I coulda been there with you. My parts would have helped. Thats one good thing of parts, how they give a person a wider aspect of understanding. My Mom part could comfort, Toughie could cajole your kid and make her feel safer. Ikid could be good to relate to yopur kid on a kid to kid level...and so on.
I remember one time I came into chat to talk to an upset babbler who is like us, and another was trying to help, but didn't know what to say. I read the words, went to a different part, and jumped right in! Later I was me again, or both maybe, and I was reading the words, and its like holy crap!? I couldn't beleive the stuff *I'd* said, it was so silly. But we meshed, that part and that other babblers upset part. They understood each other, and my part helped to calm er part, and she came back and calmed down. *I* could not have done that. The other babbler who had tried to help was amazed cuz she had no clue as to what was going on really. So parts are NOT always bad to have....
> I don't know if there is a way to describe what it is like muffled.. If you got it you know what it is like and no one else is going to understand totally.. My T gets it but I don't know if he has a clue as to how it feels..*WELL said. I think my T gets the concept, but doesn't get how it actually feels to be this way.
> I am glad someone came to help out thatkid..and glad that you were able to feel a little bad for her..The poor kid.. All of them... All our poor kids stuck inside and living through sh...t over and over again.. Just kids..*yeah...that was really weird, but good. I am just learning bout what I call the newkid, who of course isn't new, but I have a hard time sorting out the kids....
I still don't have much feeling for those inside kids I am afraid. I not sure why?
Cuz I think they not real?
Ohhh, they don't like THAT!
Sigh.
On we go.
Thanks for posting.
M
Posted by muffled on December 24, 2007, at 1:07:30
In reply to Re: Thx for replies guys.... » muffled, posted by lovelorn on December 22, 2007, at 20:25:00
Posted by muffled on December 24, 2007, at 1:09:16
In reply to Re: Thx for replies guys...., posted by I need a hug on December 22, 2007, at 22:05:30
This is the end of the thread.
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