Posted by rskontos on December 22, 2007, at 13:15:32
In reply to DESCRIBING how a DD FEELS....., posted by muffled on December 22, 2007, at 12:15:54
The things for me that gets to me right now, are the frustrations of no memories, zip nada nothing. My sister can tell me a place I went with her and I don't remember it all. She could tell me I ran naked down the street singing christmas songs and I would have to take her word for it. That is so FRUSTRATING. ANd being told you have to parent yourself. I HATE THAT! And the voices. It would be nice to have an off switch.
And I came home to a notification from ebay I bought something. Do I remember buying this no. Is it something adult me would buy. No it something TEENAGER would buy. Luckily it wasn't expensive. Now do I tell ebay it wasn't me it was an alter of me and I had checked out. No so i hit paypal and paid for it but WTF and I going to do. Luckily my daughter likes it and can use it and I can pretend it is a xmas present but really this can get out of hand.
And then there is checking to make sure you have a body. and pretending not to have parts. To not talk in the we pronoun to those that don't know like your immediate family who is clueless.
And when those emotions come out they are WAY OUT OF size and appropriate for the situation. LIke a normal conflict in life, someone cutting you off in the street, or not getting your order right at drivethrough, or when you argue with your kids. Then you way overreact. Because your emotions are stick whereever the kid, the teenager who have them is....agewise. Because adult me has none. And situations trigger you but it isn't you it is the others that have emotions. Does this make sense....
Heck I am rambling now. Sorry muffled I thought I could make sense.
You know though my new doc says I do or rather my parts envy my kids. And they do. And that is wrong. But true:(
There I said it outloud......
That is my shameful secret too....it isn't shameful for me the person, but shameful for me the mom.
rsk
poster:rskontos
thread:801864
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20071215/msgs/802067.html