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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
[email protected]Shown: posts 1 to 13 of 13. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by Muffled on November 28, 2007, at 22:11:41
Does anyone have an inside kid thats like the cartoon 'tasmanian devil' ? She just is mentally a whirling dervish of mixed emotions that I can't even try to pin down. Whatever visuals she has are on super fast forward so impossible to see.
I only had flashes of this kid. Its craziness.
Anyone got a kid like that?
M
Posted by Muffled on November 28, 2007, at 22:34:45
In reply to Re; inside kids, posted by Muffled on November 28, 2007, at 22:11:41
It occurs to me, mebbe Thatkid can't be helped. Mebbe she too far crazy and thats why she cut off. Mebbe she what considered a dead one. Cuz she dead to us, cuz she gone over the edge. Mebbe she the tasmanian devil one. She were too sensitive and the evil one got her. She was sacrificed for the rest. So mebbe we can't help her, but we can respect her memory. Maybe that would work........
Or mebbe not.
I am SO lost....
Posted by twinleaf on November 28, 2007, at 23:51:36
In reply to Re: Re; inside kids**mebbe triggers**, posted by Muffled on November 28, 2007, at 22:34:45
The thing that is so hard to do is to think of all the parts as good parts of you, which got so badly hurt that they separated. I guess that is the work of therapy- to try to welcome them back so that they are all parts of a rich and varied you. You know, they didn't do anything wrong; they were little children who got terribly hurt. THEY aren't bad; the people or person who hurt them is. When you have the feeling that you have awful parts, could you try thinking of them in a more neutral way- not condemning them? Remember what RealMe said- she used to have separated parts, but now she doesn't. They are part of her, and she feels friendly and compassionate towards them- or, I guess, towards the memory of them. She did say, though, that she didn't lose them; they are part of her in a closer, more unified way.
Posted by Muffled on November 29, 2007, at 0:16:28
In reply to Re: Re; inside kids**mebbe triggers** » Muffled, posted by twinleaf on November 28, 2007, at 23:51:36
> so that they are all parts of a rich and varied you.
*hey, I LIKE the sound of that. I want to be WHOLE. But still have people too.
You know, they didn't do anything wrong; they were little children who got terribly hurt.
*hmmm. I not there yet. Still think somehow there's badness. Not sure. Maybe just stupid kid is all.
When you have the feeling that you have awful parts, could you try thinking of them in a more neutral way- not condemning them?*I been thinking mebbe I should respect the gross one cuz mebbe she was like the sacrifice for the rest of us, so we can respect that....
Remember what RealMe said- she used to have separated parts, She did say, though, that she didn't lose them; they are part of her in a closer, more unified way.
*yup, I figger that too. Just want peace inside is all.
Thanks Twinleaf for your help.
Muffled
Posted by lovelorn on November 29, 2007, at 10:31:34
In reply to Re: Re; inside kids**mebbe triggers**, posted by Muffled on November 28, 2007, at 22:34:45
Hi Muffled,
I went through a period (not in therapy) where I explored and felt different child aspects of myself - which in reality is just different aspects of our psyche, how we coped and dealt with things, where we divided our angry and good selves. The angry child that was in me did have a very cold alternate as well, very cold and when I saw this part of myself, I realized I could never go there, could not be like that. The dead child would just be represented as blackness, nothingness. The crazy one you speak of, well that is part of your mind, the really hurt part of it and yes, you do have to respect that part because it is the part that did not let you completely die or go insane in mind - it's damaged and needs to be healed. Remember that these 'children' are different representations of your own mind even as an adult. You live and talk through them even if you are not aware. You have to try to heal those weaker areas that you call the kids and make them stronger and more integrated with the adult developed mind. In my previous post, I mentioned my T is working on having me put certain feelings and thoughts and situations in a container - so as not to let the pain and hurt and paralysis contaminate all of me (because that is what it feels like it is doing when certain feelings and thoughs come out). I wonder if the idea of a container for your certain feelings and thoughts and images might be a good one for you to maybe practice. She said the image of a container will come kind of naturally and will make sense to you. I find since I've imagined one, it has helped cut-off the contamination when I can visualize putting it somewhere so that I can feel back to myself, and not regressing or dealing with a too separate part of myself. There is an issue with the container I've chosen but we are working on that. lol. Anyway, maybe speak to your T about it.
Posted by rskontos on November 29, 2007, at 10:35:27
In reply to Re: Re; inside kids**mebbe triggers** » twinleaf, posted by Muffled on November 29, 2007, at 0:16:28
Hey Muffled, I understand truly. I was having a really good day. I best I have had in soooooooo long and out of no where rises up these feelings of such hurt and anger I can't control and I lash out like a mad banshee. I don't see my parts yet, I have the feelings. Real Me told me that on a post here, you can find it if you want to look, that sometimes the inner kids dont talk but have tons of feelings that don't get out. I have thought 'bout that and I think, for me, maybe others, that they can't talk cuz they hurt so much and they let loose with their feelings and their feelings are so mixed up and hurt and angry and you feel all those emotions and it is like they have no place to go. You as the adult have to try to find a place for them. I confess I have not be good at this either. I too have a long way to go. I almost dumped my T. Long Story. My point is it so hard to deal with our parts because they are part of us yet separate. They have a separate memory, set of feelings, hurts, physical hurts sometimes, anger, and sadness. When you take all those different parts and add them up plus the adult you it can be overwhelming. And add in a IRL life to boot to try and juggle. Kids a husband a job a home whatever and suddenly life seems like it is too much. I found a song, I have been meaning to type up the words and post. I have been playing it over and over for myself and in my head. I can do that. I found have conversations with my inner voices and play a song in my head to sooth them. It works sometimes. Sometimes not. Anyway, this song says alot of what I am mean. I will post it for all. It is what is helping me come back.
Muffled you are a good person with a lot going on. When I explain to my good friend a small fraction of what is going on with me it sounds so crazy I want to stop. She understands and it is ok but it hurts me to talk about it. I sound crazy to me. To parts of me. I hurt to think of parts gone but to continue like this is hard too. I know that we will find our way, we always do but the going does get tough and rocky at times. We do need to vent however it sounds. You have PERMISSION to do so. I found for myself I needed it. I guess it is that inner kid that needs everything to be ok or she will run and hide. The danger we must remember was a LONG time ago this is the healing which hurts to go through but in the long run will be good and safe and right.
Hang in there sweets, it will be ok. for all of you.....rk
Posted by lovelorn on November 29, 2007, at 11:29:10
In reply to Re: Re; inside kids**mebbe triggers**, posted by rskontos on November 29, 2007, at 10:35:27
Hi rskontos,
Probably one of the best things my T has stressed to me when we talk is : what you are feeling (or the parts of you that are feeling) is not actually happening right now. I know it seems like whatever it is is happening again in the moment - it's very real and you are going through the same hurt and break down as before but it is in fact memory, not happening and not the situation right now. So, when the feelings go amok and you/me are being 'contaminated' (like that word and image given to me by my T), it helps to remind myself that whatever caused those feelings and hurt is not happening right now. That's why the container idea is helping too - I can put whatever is going on in the container, and re center and balance myself in the present. Very hard to distinguish what is present and what is past when you are going through the f'd up feelings and emotions. It's still hard but is gettign better.
Posted by rskontos on November 29, 2007, at 11:59:11
In reply to Re: Re; inside kids**mebbe triggers** » rskontos, posted by lovelorn on November 29, 2007, at 11:29:10
Lovelorn, Hi back at you, I will think about the container idea and see if I can put the hurt inside. When the emotions come up they are so powerful that me(the Big Girl, as I am tired of the word adult), can't seem to control them. I am pretty powerless. My T is trying to get me to talk to them but I don't seem able to do that either. She thinks if I talk to them and tell them they are ok they will subside. But yesterday I don't know what even triggered them, I was feeling good, powerful in control, in charge every bit the adult when out of no where these emotions hit hard. It was like being on a roller coaster ride with no way off and the ride was going to fast. But I will try to visualize the container if I cant talk to them so I can place the feelings there until I can get us under control. rk
Posted by star008 on November 29, 2007, at 18:06:21
In reply to Re; inside kids, posted by Muffled on November 28, 2007, at 22:11:41
I think Muffled that you will only catch glimpses or her.. She is scared of you.. She knows you don't like her but wants you to know she is there anyway. She's gonna make sure you know she is there.lol.. Can you find some respect for her in that she won't give up??she keeps trying and trying.. saying "look at me"..She's a tough one and I gotta hand it to her for that..She hasn't given up..she just keeps going..alot for a kid,
Posted by Muffled on November 29, 2007, at 22:32:33
In reply to Re: Re; inside kids**mebbe triggers** » Muffled, posted by lovelorn on November 29, 2007, at 10:31:34
is I feel them.....but I don't.....
Its VERY strange.
And I haven't figgered out what I am doing yet.
I tell my T awhile back, she say, you hurt, I say, NOPE , NOT hurt. I NOT hurt. I don't feel bad. But mebbe on some level I do? I don't understand this.
So mebbe I already got a container I use? Maybe that is where my feelings live?
I don't know.
Thanks lovelorn, and nice to meet you.
Muffled
Posted by Muffled on November 29, 2007, at 22:42:59
In reply to Re: Re; inside kids**mebbe triggers**, posted by rskontos on November 29, 2007, at 10:35:27
> Hey Muffled, I understand truly. I was having a really good day. I best I have had in soooooooo long and out of no where rises up these feelings of such hurt and anger I can't control and I lash out like a mad banshee. I don't see my parts yet, I have the feelings. Real Me told me that on a post here, you can find it if you want to look, that sometimes the inner kids dont talk but have tons of feelings that don't get out. I have thought 'bout that and I think, for me, maybe others, that they can't talk cuz they hurt so much and they let loose with their feelings and their feelings are so mixed up and hurt and angry and you feel all those emotions and it is like they have no place to go. You as the adult have to try to find a place for them.
*Like I said above, i DO do something with them, the feelings. WHAT I do NOT know? I have a very good security system...But the feelings come, bam, but they ease and are just a memory a second later, I kinda feel bad physically matbe, or maybe anxiety, but not so bad. No big deal. My T lotsa times says, that was a hard session, I say NO. Cuz it wasn't. I dunno, but then I so tired so maybe it was? I am getting very confused around this...
>I confess I have not be good at this either. I too have a long way to go. I almost dumped my T. Long Story. My point is it so hard to deal with our parts because they are part of us yet separate. They have a separate memory, set of feelings, hurts, physical hurts sometimes, anger, and sadness. When you take all those different parts and add them up plus the adult you it can be overwhelming. And add in a IRL life to boot to try and juggle. Kids a husband a job a home whatever and suddenly life seems like it is too much. I found a song, I have been meaning to type up the words and post. I have been playing it over and over for myself and in my head. I can do that. I found have conversations with my inner voices and play a song in my head to sooth them. It works sometimes. Sometimes not. Anyway, this song says alot of what I am mean. I will post it for all. It is what is helping me come back.
*good, music is good.
Yeah I get confused alot. I am not so split really, but sometimes I get scared cuz I am thinking sometimes I am more split than I think. I don't think bout it much cuz it makes me tired.
>
> Muffled you are a good person with a lot going on. When I explain to my good friend a small fraction of what is going on with me it sounds so crazy I want to stop. She understands and it is ok but it hurts me to talk about it. I sound crazy to me. To parts of me. I hurt to think of parts gone but to continue like this is hard too.*I think the parts do NOT go away, they just quiet. I have had times when parts just "GONE", my head is silent, there is noone there...(HEY, them rotters...I just had a thot, mebbe they take holiday w/o me!!! HEY! LOL!)nut they come back. Always they do s'ok.
>I know that we will find our way, we always do but the going does get tough and rocky at times. We do need to vent however it sounds. You have PERMISSION to do so. I found for myself I needed it. I guess it is that inner kid that needs everything to be ok or she will run and hide. The danger we must remember was a LONG time ago this is the healing which hurts to go through but in the long run will be good and safe and right.
>
> Hang in there sweets, it will be ok. for all of you.....rk*hey thx RK, so glad you back :-)
Posted by Muffled on November 29, 2007, at 23:01:36
In reply to Re: Re; inside kids, posted by star008 on November 29, 2007, at 18:06:21
> I think Muffled that you will only catch glimpses or her.. She is scared of you.. She knows you don't like her but wants you to know she is there anyway. She's gonna make sure you know she is there.lol.. Can you find some respect for her in that she won't give up??she keeps trying and trying.. saying "look at me"..She's a tough one and I gotta hand it to her for that..She hasn't given up..she just keeps going..alot for a kid,
LOL, you made me smile! You are an inside kid cheering team!!! You gonna make me like her yet!
Thx :-)
My T wrote this in response to my story I posted above about me hiding under a bush:
"M, maybe you can allow those who care about you to come under the bush with you or to surround you, and help you protect you so that you could come out of hiding, and so that Muffled might be able to speak. That is NOT a have to do, but a question to think about that someday you might want to do."
((( T ))) I got a nice T :-)
And wonderful (((babblefriends))) too.
Take care,
M
Posted by muffled on December 3, 2007, at 12:43:05
In reply to Re: Re; inside kids**mebbe triggers** » Muffled, posted by twinleaf on November 28, 2007, at 23:51:36
> The thing that is so hard to do is to think of all the parts as good parts of you, which got so badly hurt that they separated. I guess that is the work of therapy- to try to welcome them back so that they are all parts of a rich and varied you. You know, they didn't do anything wrong; they were little children who got terribly hurt. THEY aren't bad; the people or person who hurt them is. When you have the feeling that you have awful parts, could you try thinking of them in a more neutral way- not condemning them? Remember what RealMe said- she used to have separated parts, but now she doesn't. They are part of her, and she feels friendly and compassionate towards them- or, I guess, towards the memory of them. She did say, though, that she didn't lose them; they are part of her in a closer, more unified way.
**Thanks twinleaf....
The parts are both good and bad I guess. Like anybody. One of my favorite kids is Ikid and she is wonderful, but she can sometimes be sneaky, and sometimes gets jealous too. And Nasty, who really can be pretty bad, CAN be kind too. As for the one we all hate....well, we not sure, but it may be her that gets so delighted sometimes in a cute way, but her badness....:-(
Yes, we need to be at peace inside, that is what we need.
Thanks.
M
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