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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
[email protected]Shown: posts 3 to 27 of 27. Go back in thread:
Posted by B2chica on November 2, 2007, at 11:36:21
In reply to **STRONG TRIGGER***(suicide thougts), posted by B2chica on November 2, 2007, at 11:34:47
Posted by happyflower on November 2, 2007, at 11:46:05
In reply to **STRONG TRIGGER***(suicide thougts), posted by B2chica on November 2, 2007, at 11:34:47
Well I don't know the right thing to say, as I usually have my foot in my mouth, but tell those damn voices that Happyflower is going to give them a swift kick in the butt if they don't shut the hell up.
Okay that is what I want to say but I hope it is okay. But B2, this might be so selfish for me to say, but I need you here. Babble needs you here.
But for your "real world" your daughter and husband would be devestated if you did anything to yourself and followed those voices. Please be strong, I know you can.
If you have to go to the hospital to stay safe, then please do it. I know you don't want to for many valid reasons, but you are the most important thing to your daughter (her reasons are even more valid) and if you are gone, it would terrible for her. So if you don't want to put your needs first, put hers. She needs you.
I am know I am just rambling but I hope this is taken the right way with you. I just care, and I want you around, who else is going to put up with me? lol
I hope your T can help, I am worried about you.
(((((B2))))))))
Posted by B2chica on November 2, 2007, at 12:26:38
In reply to Re: **STRONG TRIGGER***(suicide thougts) » B2chica, posted by happyflower on November 2, 2007, at 11:46:05
Happyflower, thank you so much.
but this is whats so "crazy" about all this..."I" DON'T WANT to die. i don't even feel at all suicidal right now. its just this whispered thought with a distinct sound (dare i say voice) that keeps saying this. and not at times when i'm hearing a sad song or something. it just comes. then it say things over and over.its like when i was younger and dear 'mother' was berating me for whatever at the moment...after a while you just want to say "@#$(*& FINE...WHATEVER! YES i WAS doing xyz like you say...YES i am a xyz!) just to shut her up.
well, that's what i feel like with these words.
when i hear them i fight but its tiring..and i'm afraid that after a while..i'll just want to give in to shut him up...and he will win...and he will be right.i'm scared of that!
its not like i WANT to die. (as in other times).
i feel like i have a person standing next to saying "your doing that wrong", see i'm right about this, so i'm right about the rest...You will die.i'm just not sure what to do. distraction works a bit but it has to be a deep thought distraction. (ive been trying to do some analysis work and that sometimes helps.) but its just off and on.
i wish you could be here and just SCREAM IT at him!
maybe he'd listen if you and muffled got together and screamed it at him. you two are very strong!i wish i could just 'call up' TEEN, and she could tell him off.
but i think she's more vulnerable to this than she lets on. so maybe its better shes not here.i hope T gets email before weekend.
...oh well, but i guess there's nothing anyone can do anyway...
Posted by Phillipa on November 2, 2007, at 12:37:08
In reply to Re: **STRONG TRIGGER***(suicide thougts) » B2chica, posted by happyflower on November 2, 2007, at 11:46:05
Happyflower well said and I agree. Phillipa
Posted by muffled on November 2, 2007, at 13:10:56
In reply to **STRONG TRIGGER***(suicide thougts), posted by B2chica on November 2, 2007, at 11:34:47
>
> i just sent this to T.
> i hope she can help with things...although i don't know what she CAN do.*She can help you keep you safe. You are doing great in letting her know whats going on. You gonna have to try and fully trust and follow whatever descions she makes for your care and safety.
> why does this happen again on friday?
*I think weekends are bad for alot of us cuz T's are less accessable generally speaking, so we feel more alone and unsafe.
> its getting stronger...the words, i'm scared of them..of if they're true...
*They are NOT true. I have found this out ofr myself and you just gonna have to try and beleive me. I used to get this sort of thing over self injury...it would seem so inevitable...I had NO choice, I would have NO peace unless I did so...and the results were pretty bad a coupla times. I have resisted some really bad ones in the last while. I just didn't do it. Its weird. Sounds so simple, but it was NOT easy.
Have you tried 'thought stopping'? Its where your thots are going wrong, and you either say in your head STOP! and change your thots to something else...like the color of your shoes or whatever. You do this as often as necessary. Sometimes you have to say it LOUD, out loud... Also another way is to keep an elsatic on your wrist and snap it and say STOP in your head at the same time and redirect your thots to eg diff sounds, or textures, or taste, or a TV show or whatever turns your crank. I also use the word NO! as well.> and i'm just so tired. physically, and mentally.
*yeah, mental health takes a beating when we are physically unwell, this is well documented fact...
> i keep hearing... this deep whispered voice (seductive...and STRONG, so assured, so resolute)...these words.*yeah...SO convincing, so....inevitable.......SEEMING...but NOT TRUTH. NOT INEVITABLE. But yes, VERY powerful and needs to be treated with utmost urgency.
> the starred ones are the most common and the most...the ones that make me just sigh in agreement, and cause my weakness.
>
> "you're gonna do it...girl"*No I am not. STOP. Look at that ladys dress, its uuuuuggllyyyy....
> "it's not IF but WHEN".
*Ya your right , we all gonna die sometime, but NOT SOON, my daughter NEEDS me. STOP! I like the smell of burning leaves, and sometimes incense is nice, but only certain kinds..
> "it is your destiny to die this way"
**Ya, SO, my friend muffled used to hear the SAME THING, and she's still here. STOP. Muffleds and oddball, but I like to talk to her and stuff....
> **"face it, you WILL give in eventually"
**NO! I am strong, I have a core of STEEL. I made it this far, I have the wonderous gift of my kid. STOP. My baby was so sweet today when she looked at me....
> **"stop fighting it"**I will NEVER surrender, I have parts that are TOUGH. STOP! I wonder what special thing I can do this weekend??? Ice cream? What flavor is my fave? Cone or cup...
> "just give in, you'll feel so much better...everyone will"
**LIES, this is LIES. STOP! I'm gonna try that thing where you tie a helium balloon to my kids ankle, so its in her line of sight, and everytime she kicks, the balloon moves! its so funny....
> **"my words are stronger, than your will"
**You've tried this sh*t before. My will IS in fact stronger than you...you keep pulling this dumb line...muffled says its a cheap dumb line. STOP. There was a cool documentary I saw the other day on elephants....apparently their poo doesn't stink at all....
> "you'll never be good enough to fight me"
**Thats B*LLSH*T. STOP! I take good care of my babby, she is clean and loved, I do my best for her....
> "ill be right there when you do it"
**Ya sure, then bail....ultimately, I will be alone, all alone. STOP. I like ice, I like how its cold and melts. Its water, but ..not. Its weird stuff.
> and just when you think you've won, i'll get you.
**Threats...I can take it, noboddy gonna take me down. STOP. I love those flowers, the pink ones...
> any suggestions?
> (i don't even know for what...the words, the thoughts, how to respond...*I gave very rough suggestions, ones that fit me. Can you write down some, maybe several refutes for each saing? Ones that 'fit' you best, so maybe you will 'hear' them better?
Where is teen in all this? Maybe she could possibly be helpful?> i just want everything to go away.
*yeah.....I hear ya.
Things WILL get better. Try and remember you in a bad place RIGHT now, but that it DOES get better, it does.> somedays i feel i want to shoot the thoughts out of my head...
**Yeah...I almost did that once...glad I didn't...SO glad. But now I goto live w/the shame that I not allowed to possess a firearm :-( Oh well...But I AM glad I'm here.
> but then i won't live to enjoy the lack of 'noise'.
*Yeah, for me, some noise is OK, its kinda weird with no noise. Just managable noise is OK.
But those stupid f*ck*r voices ARE wrong, they are NOT inevitable. But PLEASE take seriously that there is possible danger and do what you need to do to protect yourself.Call T, be around people, not being alone, taking away things that harm, if you have a plan, tell T, hosp if absolutely necc JUST to stabilize...etc
I'm not sure what part you need to access, but maybe you could try for teen and ask her to talk to the voices for you? I dunno, you'll have to get T to help you with this part cuz I dunno how you interact with your parts so much.
Also, consider any med interactions as well.
My self injury was much worse on a certain med. One med gave me terrible anxiety...so finding the right med can take time. Also for me to get onto a med, I have to start at very very loe doses as they affect me very strongly.
Thats all I can think of in a practical sense.
I'm staying away from emotions these days.
Just know that you are important to me B2 and that I really do care bout you.
I dunno, if you think its safe or good(you could ask T, Toughie would even talk to your t if T wanted to know she's OK?)) I would be willing to have my Toughie talk to your teen if she wants. Either here, or b-mail, or on chat. Toughie is OK.
Take specially good care.
Can't say it gonna be easy, but CAN say that you do have within you what it takes to get thru this...
M
Posted by happyflower on November 2, 2007, at 13:11:25
In reply to Re: **STRONG TRIGGER***(suicide thougts) » happyflower, posted by B2chica on November 2, 2007, at 12:26:38
Wow, B2, it must feel very scary to hear that stuff. Thank goodness you aren't sucidal. But if you want me and muffy (I am sure she would), we can yell at that stupid voice!
SHUT THE BLANKIEY BLANK UP!!!
I do feel you should call your T today. It does help you know. That is what they are suppose to do, so please call, it is okay. DOn't wait too long okay....((((B2)))) Take care of yourself
Posted by happyflower on November 2, 2007, at 13:16:25
In reply to Re: **STRONG TRIGGER***(suicide thougts), posted by muffled on November 2, 2007, at 13:10:56
WOw, Muffy,
What you said to B2 was really good! I am so happy to see your post, I have been missing you. B2 wants us to yell at that voice, wanna?
Posted by muffled on November 2, 2007, at 13:45:59
In reply to Re: **STRONG TRIGGER***(suicide thougts) » muffled, posted by happyflower on November 2, 2007, at 13:16:25
Posted by B2chica on November 2, 2007, at 13:54:32
In reply to Re: **STRONG TRIGGER***(suicide thougts), posted by muffled on November 2, 2007, at 13:10:56
wanted to let ya know. my T just called me.
we talked for a bit i was trying hard to explain to her. i'm sure glad she 'gets' it.
cuz i'm NOT suicidal...it just like i got some sick suicidal cheer squad that wont go away. (laugh??)
but she also said i can call her on cell if i needed to this weekend. (that makes me feel a little more relaxed about things).she mentioned my going back on zyprexa...but d@mn people i still got baby weight and refuse to gain any more freaking weight. and i told her that i had hoped to wait until i was at least up to 300 on my wellbutrin, cuz that (hopefully little energizing) would counter act the exhaustion zyprexa caused me.
but she said i could 'tell the voice/thoughts that. that i just say...
well you WONT win cuz all i have to do is take this little pill and you are GONE!...NOT me!i told her i'd try it. cuz talking back doens't alwyas work...it's like the thoughts know what i'm gonna say and interrupt me with other bad thoughts..like he's talking back..mocking me.
thank you all for your great support.
*******************
BUT...
i wanted to say MUFFLED!, you are just the little genius.
i am printing out your replies and i am going to keep them close. i think these are GREAT!
i will use them when the time comes.thank you so very very very much.
Posted by muffled on November 2, 2007, at 14:05:19
In reply to Re: **STRONG TRIGGER***(suicide thougts), posted by happyflower on November 2, 2007, at 13:11:25
>Thank goodness you aren't sucidal. But if you want me and muffy (I am sure she would), we can yell at that stupid voice!
*Part of B2 IS suicidal IMHO, hence the destruction voices.
I been thinking, depending on the nature of the voice, we should be careful. I would never presume to yell at my destructive voice, but I DO refute it...and not give in. But thot of yelling at it kinda makes me nervous...
These voices feel SO real, and are almost hypnotic, and yes, its a frightening thing they are. And IMHO something serious to contend with.
Just the thots I was thinking.
> I do feel you should call your T today. It does help you know. That is what they are suppose to do, so please call, it is okay. DOn't wait too long okay....((((B2)))) Take care of yourself**(((HF))), you are a good friend. I am glad you are my friend.
M
Posted by happyflower on November 2, 2007, at 14:11:12
In reply to Re: **STRONG TRIGGER***(suicide thougts) » happyflower, posted by muffled on November 2, 2007, at 14:05:19
Thanks for setting me straight Muffy, you have me helped me understand this so much already, but I still have a lot to learn, and I am happy you try for me to get it. I am glad you are my friend too. ((((muffy))))
Okay no yelling then unless you say so B2. I am so glad your T called, and please use that cell phone number this weekend if you need to. (((((B2))))
Posted by muffled on November 2, 2007, at 14:24:14
In reply to Re: **STRONG TRIGGER***(suicide thougts), posted by B2chica on November 2, 2007, at 13:54:32
> wanted to let ya know. my T just called me.
YAAYYYY!!! GOOD T!
> we talked for a bit i was trying hard to explain to her. i'm sure glad she 'gets' it.
YAAAYYY!!!! Good T!!...again!
> cuz i'm NOT suicidal...it just like i got some sick suicidal cheer squad that wont go away. (laugh??)
Hmmm LOL, I crossed posts and just announced that you were! OK I pull foot outta my mouth!
> but she also said i can call her on cell if i needed to this weekend. (that makes me feel a little more relaxed about things).
*Good T.......again again! I think its huge to know you can contact her, just remeber she SAID YOU COULD, so if you feel you need to, don't waffle, just CALL!
> she mentioned my going back on zyprexa...but d@mn people i still got baby weight and refuse to gain any more freaking weight. and i told her that i had hoped to wait until i was at least up to 300 on my wellbutrin, cuz that (hopefully little energizing) would counter act the exhaustion zyprexa caused me.*yeah....sucks...
> but she said i could 'tell the voice/thoughts that. that i just say...
> well you WONT win cuz all i have to do is take this little pill and you are GONE!...NOT me!**OMG!!!! GOOD T AGAIN!!!!!LOL!!! GOOD answer HA!!!!! LOVE it!!!! Ya when I was on seroquel it WAS so way quieter! It also seemed to work fast too.
> i told her i'd try it. cuz talking back doens't alwyas work...it's like the thoughts know what i'm gonna say and interrupt me with other bad thoughts..like he's talking back..mocking me.*hmmm. I not so sure it knows....but it wants you to THINK it knows....
I am a step away from my voice at this time, so I can be clear about how MY voice is when its there. At the time it is VERY convincing, and bombards me. But stepping back I can see it does in fact have a fairly limited repetoir and usually tends to wheedle or just try to overwhelm me with 'talk'. Thats why the thot stop works well for me. Cuz when its overwhelming I cannot talk back, but I can yell stop. LOL(or mebbe sad?) but one time I was on the street, being bombarded by the voice and it wouldn't freaking stop, and I was trying in my head so hard to make it stop, but it wouldn't, and it was getting too crazy, so allasudden I YELLED "STOP!!!" OUT LOUD! OMG! Everything stopped all right! Heads all whipped around to look at me! I just kinda pretended to hurry down the street as if the person I had said stop to hadn't heard me and I was hurrying to catch them!!! OH MAN!!!! Now HOW dumb was that!!!!LOL!
>
> thank you all for your great support.
> *******************
> BUT...
> i wanted to say MUFFLED!, you are just the little genius.*ROFL, not genius, but fellow struggler is all.
> i am printing out your replies and i am going to keep them close. i think these are GREAT!
> i will use them when the time comes.
>
> thank you so very very very much.* no sweat, you good to me too!
Thanks for the update.
M
Posted by LlurpsieNoodle on November 2, 2007, at 16:42:25
In reply to Strong Feeling..., posted by B2chica on November 2, 2007, at 10:53:27
hi b2,
thanks for the warning to sensitive folksI'm sorry that you are in a bad place right now. I dunno if anything I say will stick, but you are really cool and fun here on psychobabble. even when you're serious you have this really nice, charming way about you.
I hate to see you hurting. I hope that you can find a way to treat yourself kindly. How is your psychopharmacology thing coming along? maybe you need a little time before things stabilize.
if you get too scared, please go to the hospital. they will keep you safe there. sometimes it gets exhausting trying to stay safe. if you're getting exhausted, ask for some help IRL. your family will thank you later.
hugs to you
ll
Posted by RealMe on November 2, 2007, at 20:19:11
In reply to **STRONG TRIGGER***(suicide thougts), posted by B2chica on November 2, 2007, at 11:34:47
B2
This used to happen to me too years ago. If I think about it now, at least for me, it was the voice of an abuseer, but it was also a part of me struggling with another part of me if that makes any sense. I managed to get through it, and did so mostly by deciding witch part of me was going to win. With the help of lots of good people, the part that wanted to fight and have a good life won out. I am stuggling again now but don't have the voice or voices which you already know are part of you. So, who wins?? Part of you is scared to face things and maybe doesn't feel so strong right now. It's okay; T is there on the side that wants to do well and be happy with life. So, call T if necessary not just email. Okay.
RealMe
(OzLand)
Posted by RealMe on November 2, 2007, at 20:23:20
In reply to Re: **STRONG TRIGGER***(suicide thougts) » B2chica, posted by RealMe on November 2, 2007, at 20:19:11
Just saw your post that you talked to T. That's good; excellent advise. I did not say it in my last post above this, but I ended up taking Mellaril at the time, and it helped. In those days (the 80's) there was no zprexa or rispedal or seoquel, etc. Take it for awile; if you gain weight, just remind yourself you will lose later; I did. Some of it is back now, but I know I can get rid of it again.
RealMe
Posted by nellie7 on November 3, 2007, at 14:51:06
In reply to Strong Feeling..., posted by B2chica on November 2, 2007, at 10:53:27
Hi B2,It is good to hear that you talked to your T and I hope you feel better very soon.
I have a suggestion for an additional tool you may be able to use.
While feeling more in control of things, write a letter to yourself listing the reasons why the bad thoughts are not to be taken seriously or obeyed and explaining that the strong feelings are a part of you that gets out of control and that this state, as frightening as it is, is temporary. You can add that what you feel and think while out of balance is a sort of illusion taking over, something like a nightmare, and that you know that this will pass. The written message will serve as proof that there is another reality and that you have been there. You can also place reminders in the form of small objects in places you know you will come across.Take care,
Nellie.
Posted by B2chica on November 5, 2007, at 10:43:12
In reply to Re: **STRONG TRIGGER***(suicide thougts) » happyflower, posted by muffled on November 2, 2007, at 14:05:19
actually muffled you are right...i don't know why but i am...i get terrified almost paralyzed by this voice/thought. and its like he knows what i'm gonna say and if i try to tell him 'not today" he interrupts and says something else...
and ya...i am S. thinking..again...it must have been burried. it arose again this weekend.
Posted by B2chica on November 5, 2007, at 10:46:15
In reply to Re: **STRONG TRIGGER***(suicide thougts) » B2chica, posted by muffled on November 2, 2007, at 14:24:14
>>but one time I was on the street, being bombarded by the voice and it wouldn't freaking stop, and I was trying in my head so hard to make it stop, but it wouldn't, and it was getting too crazy, so allasudden I YELLED "STOP!!!" OUT LOUD! OMG! Everything stopped all right! Heads all whipped around to look at me! I just kinda pretended to hurry down the street as if the person I had said stop to hadn't heard me and I was hurrying to catch them!!! OH MAN!!!! Now HOW dumb was that!!!!LOL!
omg muffled i needed that! i'm sure this is going to happen to me! so now i have a good 'cover up'!
thnx.
Posted by Muffled on November 5, 2007, at 11:50:03
In reply to Re: **STRONG TRIGGER***(suicide thougts) » muffled, posted by B2chica on November 5, 2007, at 10:43:12
> actually muffled you are right...i don't know why but i am...i get terrified almost paralyzed by this voice/thought. and its like he knows what i'm gonna say and if i try to tell him 'not today" he interrupts and says something else...
*yeah, well, if its ANYthing like mine..its something to contend with all right. Mine is calm, quiet, seductive, powerful... But here I am. I won. I am still here.
Mebbe don't even engage the voice at all. Try to just thot stop.
Maybe, ugh, in T, you can investigate why this voice is there at this time. Seems for me, everything comes down to triggers, stress, and/or fear...
Sucks. Sucks feeling it, sucks dealing with it. But you and I B2, we got the biggest reasons in the world to push onwards...our babies.> and ya...i am S. thinking..again...it must have been burried. it arose again this weekend.
*have you tired your meds, even a bit? low dose? For me it DOES help when stuff goes over the top...
Best wishes to you B2.
M
Posted by Muffled on November 5, 2007, at 11:57:53
In reply to Re: **STRONG TRIGGER***(suicide thougts) » muffled, posted by B2chica on November 5, 2007, at 10:46:15
> omg muffled i needed that! i'm sure this is going to happen to me! so now i have a good 'cover up'!
> thnx.*ya it worked! Dunno if it was the thot stopping, or that the embarssment caused me to dissociate to a better place!!!
I have a number of things I do.
If I am alone I grunt! Sorta with the effort of SHOVING the thot/part away.But the oddness of the sound brings me back.
Then there's the old head 'twitch'!
Then there's the less adaptive, punching something(but not to the point of damage) just enuf to hurt some, then I focus on the pain.
I 'babble', or CAREFULLY go on chat.
Sometimes I net surf, carefully.
Compose an email to T, and maybe send or not.
Phone T, or agonize over whether to phone T, spend time thinking of EXCUSE to phone T....then phone her, say my dumb thing...like 'what time did we say appt was?' and then hurriedly say 'bye'! even tho T is quite prepared to chat some w/me.
Manoman!!!!
The funniest thing of all is that to most people I may seem slightly odd, but not so bad!!!! LOL!
I sure put on a good show eh!!!
Take care B2, try to rmemeber you not alone in this and we can win.
I goto go,
I try to come back later.
M
Posted by B2chica on November 5, 2007, at 11:58:41
In reply to Re: **STRONG TRIGGER***(suicide thougts), posted by Muffled on November 5, 2007, at 11:50:03
he's not quiet, but he's so...calm i guess...so Assertive, confident. but i described to T, even though it's not an (acoustic) voice, i associate it as very deep and whispered kinda. but its as if it vibrates within my whole insides.
i guess i feel like he owns me when i hear him. where as my 'inner's', well, they are just noisy in my head.
but i do notice a difference.about meds.
well, when i talked to T, i asked her about upping, see i just started wellbutrin and supposed to start at 150 THEN go to 300 and i suggested maybe just jumping to 300 and she said no, to just wait till see pdoc and, well i think she said she wanted pdoc to know about what i was feeling.
but my appt's tomorrow.yes...it SUCKS big time....for now i just add xanax.
since i officially stopped nursing as of last week.thnx muffy.
Posted by Muffled on November 5, 2007, at 13:28:49
In reply to Re: **STRONG TRIGGER***(suicide thougts) » Muffled, posted by B2chica on November 5, 2007, at 11:58:41
> i guess i feel like he owns me when i hear him. where as my 'inner's', well, they are just noisy in my head.
> but i do notice a difference.*maybe can you think of it not so much 'owns' you as it just has a powerful 'presence'. Some people are like that. Doesn't mean you do what they say, but you are wary of them, cuz of their 'seeming' power. Thats why I wondered bout Teen, cuz my Toughie tends to rebel against such things. I also have Nasty, which is one step up. Nasty can be a jerk, but OK too, and can be very useful now that I better understand how that part works.
>
> about meds.
> well, when i talked to T, i asked her about upping, see i just started wellbutrin and supposed to start at 150 THEN go to 300 and i suggested maybe just jumping to 300 and she said no, to just wait till see pdoc and, well i think she said she wanted pdoc to know about what i was feeling.
> but my appt's tomorrow.*Good luck on appt. Try and be assertive and clear bout whats going on for you.
>
> yes...it SUCKS big time....for now i just add xanax.
> since i officially stopped nursing as of last week.*Damn :-(
Sorry bout the nursing :-(
Can't nurse forever I guess, but its still hard.
Its a REAL loss that you'll have to allow yourself to mourn :-(
Take good care,
You being a good Mom.
M
Posted by RealMe on November 5, 2007, at 22:48:32
In reply to Re: **STRONG TRIGGER***(suicide thougts) » muffled, posted by B2chica on November 5, 2007, at 10:46:15
No biggie; so you yelled stop. And you even made it look like you were yelling at someone. I know people have seen me talking to myself driving or walking somewhere, and I try to act like I am upset about something. It can be embarrassing, but it is what it is; that's all.
RealMe
Posted by Muffled on November 5, 2007, at 23:25:35
In reply to Re: **STRONG TRIGGER***(suicide thougts) » B2chica, posted by RealMe on November 5, 2007, at 22:48:32
Posted by RealMe on November 6, 2007, at 16:05:09
In reply to OK ...sorry... (nm) » RealMe, posted by Muffled on November 5, 2007, at 23:25:35
Why would you say you are sorry. I am saying what happened is okay. I do stuff like that too. I was trying to be supportive, but I guess I said it wrong. Sorry. I just meant you are not losing it, really; it just feels that way.
RealMe
This is the end of the thread.
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