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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
[email protected]Shown: posts 1 to 7 of 7. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by pinkeye on July 24, 2005, at 15:28:13
It is 6 months since he terminated.. I am wondering if he even remembers me now? Would he have thought of me even once in the past 6 months? His life is so busy, he has this such prestigious family background and must be meeting all this big big important people and must be partying, and spending time with much more interesting people.. I sent to him some emails, but in all likelihood, he wouldn't even have read them. I think he must have changed his email address since he was using a dial up connection to check his old email id, and he moved to a bigger and better city..
I wonder if he would have even thought about me once in these past 6 months..
Posted by daisym on July 24, 2005, at 18:12:34
In reply to Woud my ex T remember me? it's been 6 months, posted by pinkeye on July 24, 2005, at 15:28:13
You sound so wistful...like, "did I matter at all to him?"
I'm sure you did. I think he must have cared for you to have become so connected to him. Something in him touched you and for this to have happened, he opened a jpart of himself to you.
You don't sound like an easily forgotten person. Would it help to imagine yourself sending thoughts out to him and those thoughts gently tapping him on the ear and making him notice something that reminds him of you...some unique thing you said, or did or collect. Hold on to that, but try to let the rest go. Find peace if you can. I hate to hear you suffering so.
Posted by pinkeye on July 24, 2005, at 19:32:41
In reply to Re: Woud my ex T remember me? it's been 6 months » pinkeye, posted by daisym on July 24, 2005, at 18:12:34
Thanks Daisy for your warm words.
I didn't do anything special with him.. all I ever did was to complain to him about my husband I think.. That is probably why he ended up hating me and leaving me.
Sometimes I find it so difficult to digest that he never liked me at all.. but now I am beginning to realize more and more that I really didn't matter to him at all. He never wanted to write much to me even before.. I would send tons of emails, and he would reply with a very brief message once in 2 - 3 months and used to excuse himself saying he was very busy.. But how can a person be that busy? I now realize all along he was saying indirectly to me to get the hell away from him.. I feel so stupid for not realizing it, and I kept clinging to him. And I think that only irritated him further..
Posted by rabidreader on July 24, 2005, at 20:06:47
In reply to Re: Woud my ex T remember me? it's been 6 months » daisym, posted by pinkeye on July 24, 2005, at 19:32:41
Pinkeye,
I think it is like Daisy said...something out of the blue will remind him of you. I wouldn't hurt myself more by thinking he has forgotten you. I'm trying to remember this, too, for when my therapist leaves in the next couple of weeks. He's off to get his doctorate, and I think (with a hint of wistfullness, as you wrote of it) that he'll never think of me ever again. But think, Pinkeye, of how many times some little thing will trigger your memory, and somebody comes to mind. It could be anything: a color, a scent. Maybe he'll smell some perfume that reminds him of the one you wore, and your face will come to him.
However, it will never be enough remembering to suit us. I want my T to think of me every day, to miss me, to wish he'd never left. This, I'm afraid, is just not going to be reality, not even a slice of it. I will remember him infinitely more than he'll remember me.
But hopefully--and I think I can say this with truth on my side--in five years, he will be a distant memory. That is what I wish for myself, and for you.
Posted by JenStar on July 24, 2005, at 22:05:29
In reply to Woud my ex T remember me? it's been 6 months, posted by pinkeye on July 24, 2005, at 15:28:13
hi pinkeye,
in all honesty, he probably does not think of ANY past patients with much frequency. It sounds like he is very busy with work/life/commitments, and would probably be devoting his thoughts to the new pursuits. It's likely that he may think of past patients (including you!) from time to time, if he is reminded of a case, looks at old files, or has a similar patient or friend currently.
However, that does not mean you are not WORTHY of being remembered on a daily basis! You're a great person, and even if he doesn't think of you often, that does not diminish your worth or your positive traits. There are many other people who have you in their live right now, and enjoy you. :)
I also doubt very much that your T hated you. You seem to think that your T has extremely negative feelings for you! But you don't seem hate-able at all. I think you're projecting your negative self image onto him. And I think we've also concluded that he wasn't the best of T's to you. At least, I'm personally convinced of it! (Sorry.)
I do understand what it's like to burn, to cry, to desire being remembered. I really do. I've had my heart broken, and raged against it, and against the fact that HE was completely "moved on" while I was stuck, stuck, stuck. It killed me. I couldn't understand how it was so easy for him to forget me (me! How could me forget ME!??) I DO understand how horrible it feels.
But you will move on too, even if at a slower pace. You really will. The pain will fade.
And you ARE worthy and wonderful, regardless of whether he thinks of you often or not. :)JenStar
Posted by pinkeye on July 25, 2005, at 13:44:11
In reply to Re: Woud my ex T remember me? it's been 6 months, posted by rabidreader on July 24, 2005, at 20:06:47
Thanks Rabid. I hope you are able to cope with your termination much better than I ever did.
> Pinkeye,
>
> I think it is like Daisy said...something out of the blue will remind him of you. I wouldn't hurt myself more by thinking he has forgotten you. I'm trying to remember this, too, for when my therapist leaves in the next couple of weeks. He's off to get his doctorate, and I think (with a hint of wistfullness, as you wrote of it) that he'll never think of me ever again. But think, Pinkeye, of how many times some little thing will trigger your memory, and somebody comes to mind. It could be anything: a color, a scent. Maybe he'll smell some perfume that reminds him of the one you wore, and your face will come to him.
>
> However, it will never be enough remembering to suit us. I want my T to think of me every day, to miss me, to wish he'd never left. This, I'm afraid, is just not going to be reality, not even a slice of it. I will remember him infinitely more than he'll remember me.
>
> But hopefully--and I think I can say this with truth on my side--in five years, he will be a distant memory. That is what I wish for myself, and for you.
>
Posted by pinkeye on July 25, 2005, at 13:45:31
In reply to Re: Woud my ex T remember me? it's been 6 months » pinkeye, posted by JenStar on July 24, 2005, at 22:05:29
Thanks Jen. Sometimes I think imagining negative feelings on his end is better than indifference and no feelings at all.. Mabye that is why I assume he has extreme negative feelings towards me - because that means he would still think about me right ?? Indifference hurts more I think..
> hi pinkeye,
>
> in all honesty, he probably does not think of ANY past patients with much frequency. It sounds like he is very busy with work/life/commitments, and would probably be devoting his thoughts to the new pursuits. It's likely that he may think of past patients (including you!) from time to time, if he is reminded of a case, looks at old files, or has a similar patient or friend currently.
>
> However, that does not mean you are not WORTHY of being remembered on a daily basis! You're a great person, and even if he doesn't think of you often, that does not diminish your worth or your positive traits. There are many other people who have you in their live right now, and enjoy you. :)
>
> I also doubt very much that your T hated you. You seem to think that your T has extremely negative feelings for you! But you don't seem hate-able at all. I think you're projecting your negative self image onto him. And I think we've also concluded that he wasn't the best of T's to you. At least, I'm personally convinced of it! (Sorry.)
>
> I do understand what it's like to burn, to cry, to desire being remembered. I really do. I've had my heart broken, and raged against it, and against the fact that HE was completely "moved on" while I was stuck, stuck, stuck. It killed me. I couldn't understand how it was so easy for him to forget me (me! How could me forget ME!??) I DO understand how horrible it feels.
>
> But you will move on too, even if at a slower pace. You really will. The pain will fade.
> And you ARE worthy and wonderful, regardless of whether he thinks of you often or not. :)
>
> JenStar
This is the end of the thread.
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